Monthly Archives: March 2009

Islamic Groups: The Fracturing of Islam in North America

Muslim orgs today.

Muslim orgs today.

A number of years ago while I was studying in Damascus, I applied for a deen intensive program that was to be held in Makkah/Madinah. I was tipped off by a friend in a high place that registration would be opening within the next day or so. So before and after classes I went to the internet cafe (there wasn’t any internet at home in Syria at the time) and checked online. The next day after school, the application was up and I spent an hour or two, or three filling it out and even went home and wrote some more stuff out on my flash drive before going back to the cafe to submit it.

I added some things I had pre-written which included an ‘autobiography’ and ‘thoughts on Islam’ and some longer essays I had written before. The application was long and thorough and I spent time filling everything out carefully and really tried to add any Islamic activities, courses, study abroad, classes, learning, shaykhs, references, organizations, everything I could think of that could help me get in. I would say I submitted it at about 5 or 6 AM US time after registration had opened at 12 AM. Over the next few weeks the program and registration was advertised and I heard from many friends who applied as well.

About 2 weeks after I submitted the application I received a polite email that I was rejected, but no reason or explanation. D’oh! You could imagine my consternation. What did I do wrong? Was I too old? Was I too young? Did I not study with shaykhs they liked? But I had studied with some of them! Did I not have any Islamic experience or did I have too much? Was I not active enough or too active? I just didn’t get it. Especially when a number of people I knew and even people in my own community were accepted months after. And I mean MONTHS! Later, a few people (again in those high places) told me that I didn’t know the ‘right’ people and I hadn’t been to the ‘right’ programs.

Last year when I attended a wedding I met a sister who was very friendly and we chatted about various Islamic activities going on in her area. I then mentioned a shaykh that I studied with and her reaction was absolutely priceless. “Him! Oh we don’t do that, we’re ____” After that, cold shoulder, she just visibly ignored us the rest of the 3 days of wedding activities. I was shocked, and am kind of still shocked that any debates over shaykhs or groups would come down to such a level where it influences personal interactions.

Over the last few years we have seen a number of organizations established by various shaykhs and groups. We have Zaytuna, Al-Maghrib, Sunnipath, Aalim, ZamZam, Nawawi, MAS, SeekersGuidance, Fawakeh, Zawiyah, Bayinnah, Sunniforum, Texasdawah, Mecca, Al Madina, etc. etc. etc. Their purpose was and is noble. They want to organize and teach Islam. I don’t discount the good work they have done and how they have changed and revitalized the knowledge scene in North America. I also don’t begrudge the formulation or ‘professionalization’ if you will of these organizations because I do believe Muslims should start paying their scholars and for knowledge in order for these to develop. But what I’m talking about are the side effects of these organizations. At times, it’s just unbelievable.

The amount of vitriolic debate across Islamic forums, blogs, in speeches, in communities is appalling. This shaykh said this and that one said this in response. This organization did this and that one did that. Oh I’m a part of thisgroup, I don’t go to thatgroup. I mean, it gets much uglier than that with words like “kaffir” and “aqeedah” and “islam” and “truth” thrown around, along with specific quotes and incidents. Some shaykhs advocate not attending other’s lectures and classes “in case they get messed up by them”. Some downright declare other teachers/teachings to be heretical. A shaykh who decides to teach at another camp (ie Suhaib Webb) is immediately declared to be a traitor. If you attend a certain group’s classes and courses, you are part of that crowd and enjoy it’s exclusive benefits like getting into certain exclusive programs or forum or mailing list. If you don’t, you’re locked out.

At one point I believed that all the debating and fighting was perpetuated by ignorant, zealous students only, but I know now that’s not true. Each of these organizations has their own agenda and “aqeedah” so to speak and by that virtue even its leadership is involved in perpetuating this fracturing of Islam in North America.

They certainly have done nothing to stop it. I don’t know how you guys feel, but I’m truly just sickened by it all. Ten years ago, Farid Munir likened ISNA – as an umbrella organization, to a mall. In the mall there were a ton of stores and anyone could choose to go into any store. And Thank God it was like this, because the day ISNA decided which stores were right and wrong and which would be closed, God help us. Well here is that day. Each organization has now decided to open up their own store, has set up its own times of business and customers, what to sell and sent out its sales fliers to its exclusive customers. If you are one of those people that are part of the club you are quite happy I’m sure. But what is happening to the bigger picture, Islam & Muslims!! What about those people who don’t want to be part of your club? What about those people who do want to be? What about those who want to benefit but don’t want to join you?

If the groups could just go back to being ‘simply ways to organize’ or if the leaders of these groups would actively try to teach and institute policies to eradicate exclusivity it would help. But what shaykh or group is going to say, ‘Go get your knowledge from anywhere, go to any program , we don’t mind’. The whole reason they were organized in the first place was to do things and teach things in the way they feel is important. But now in order for the group to survive, it must retain its supporters. The group by virtue of being a group, must inherently form mechanisms to perpetuate itself. Thus, the problem is so inherent that nothing short of dissolving all these organizations would actually solve it. But how can we then build institutions and organizations without groups? Physically, financially, organizationally we need them to progress.

The only alternative I see, is for us, we the people, who are part of these organizations, who attend these programs, who apply to them, is to protest. And by protest I mean to stop engaging in the politicking, the argumentation, the this-group-versus-that-group mentality, the my shaykh vs. your shaykh debate, and to advocate for transparency and non-exclusivity. Who makes up these organizations, who attends them? We do. We need to stop “being the problem we seek to change.” Let’s stop being exclusive and country club like and start standardizing some fairness policies. Let’s break the cult of personalities by seeking knowledge for the sake of seeking knowledge, not based on who teaches it or where. Why do we attend only certain programs? Who cares if this shaykh isn’t in your camp, can you not benefit from him? Why do we travel thousands of miles to go to something when there is that brother at the local corner mosque who has been teaching this subject for the last 10 years, when that local sister who knows Tajweed has no students? We need, sigh hate to say this in a recession :) , but what we need, is to start shopping freely at the mall again!

ps i just realized i’ll probably now be blackballed from every north american organization, but please just take this as naseeha for the future. check yo’self b4 u wreck yo’self as my students say. :)

Protected: The love + hate club.

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Rain.

Cold October rain
falls outside my window
I can hear its force
and then as it gentles
Rain as mercy
Rain as cleansing
Rain as tears and pain

He was here once
holding my hand
wiping my tears
with His fingertips

Tears trail around my
face now
following gravity
with its streams

I turn my head and
hold my breath
End the pain
End the sorrow
No one can hurt me now

The rain tapers off
I hear only drops now
Turn again and night
air enters my lungs

I want to live
yet the ache never leaves
and the rain continues to fall


Written October 12, 2006

Funny searches that landed ppl on this blog

One of the things that amuses me everyday is the stuff people type into google to get to this blog. They are often hilarious and often :O quite scary… So as it’s St. Patrick’s day today we’ll say sometimes these poor leprechauns get to the pot of gold and sometimes they are still tryin’ to find the end of the rainbow! … here are some that I found interesting, odd or decidedly entertaining:  :D

KEYWORDS — My Comments

what do you get in jannah — anything u want it’s jannah!!

attractive muscular quiet guy at work — wow let me know where u work!

WOMEN DUTIES TO HER HUSBAND IN MALIKI FIQH
— haha very specific i feel like he’s going to put this in the marriage contract!

i always get mad at my mom because i have a temper problem islam — umm why add the islam there at the end?? and stop being mad!!

picking spouses in Jannah — awww

muslim girl first night — ummm maybe u need to take a health class or talk to ur married friends

im not muslim but like a muslim girl
— lol

what do girls find attractive - this appears more than once… hey we’re happy to educate!

muslim girls – it’s nice that ur looking in google, probably the best place to look :/

meeting a muslim girl for potential marriage — oooo sounds interesting

Jilbab Hijab Muslim porn — WTH disgusting pervert what is that???

are you religious
— looove it hope u read my whole blog on that subject.

as salaam alaykum poem – are they saying salam to a poem??

What muslim girls would like to talk about — about *you* of course *gigglez

i want one muslim girl — lol i love how he said one.

muslim women praying — yes we pray a lot.

fine muslims girls for marriage
— das right he be lookin for dem fyyyneeee muslim girls

are half of all muslims women? — huh?

do we keep spouses in jannah — i get the feeling all these ppl in miserable marriages are wondering.

im looking for muslim girl for married — if she’s married already u have problems bud!

muslim death jannah children — this one scared me.

Mature Jannah — as opposed to an Immature Jannah

which person don’t go in jannat — good thing to search on i think

women’s souq damascus – there’s a women’s only souq in damascus??

jannah emphasis – i like ur emphasis

Duas for a woman trying to get married — awww thats nice, if u find some let me know too

“like black guys” — haha where someone’s exact words come back to bite them

a.r.rahman loves his wife — so sweettt

what should i do if this girl doesn’t me anymore and i love her in the muslim way — Uhhh u might need a psychologist for that, a muslim psychologist.

“rumi’+”saw grief drinking” — this is a great poem, kudos for remembering the main words.

impotent muslim guys for marriage — gahhhhhh i don’t want to know.

muslim women wearing niqab
-  uhhh are they not gonna all look the same???

jannah under feet of husband — uhhh that’s MOTHERS!! MOTHERS

water lapping — nice soothing sound to put u to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

how can u marry a muslim girl — goooin’ to the mosque and gonna get ma-ma-rrriiiiieeeeed

Im done poems — ur done?

DOING GOOD IN QIRAN — ur not doing so good if you can’t spell QURAN!

muslim girls looking for a muslim husband — get in line sistah!

love jannah nude pics — you are disgusting

why do girls wanna be attractive — so we can attract losers like you

good things like qaran — almost as good as QURAN

unmarried man dying jannah – ouch sounds sad

humor die heretic — doesn’t sound funny to me?

jannah bad girl — there are no bad girls in jannah foo!!

girls are attractive — yes, yes we are thanks.

the robin and the rose arabic poem — so close… it’s a dove!

i’m done trying — i love this one!! i’m done too my friend!

wedding legal stuff — good to read up on this stuff eh

JUST JANNAH PICS — have yet to meet someone who was able to smuggle a camera out sorry

what does islam say about the women of jannah — a very nice search ma’shallah!

video about suicide bombers going to jannah — ??? how about the videos of them going to hell?

what staff a muslim women should do to be a good muslem — good search but the spelling could use some help

home made muslim porn — OMG are you serious!!! astaghfirullah!!!

what is jannah like —- awww so sweet a question

All Roads Lead To Makkah — i want to title my book this so don’t take it!!!

“the mother is a school” Poem — ooo nice poem but i’ve never heard of it

jannah matchmaking — i wonder if they have a bureau in jannah where they match ppl up?

Noor Ki Barish Mein Beeghta Sa Tar Aaya ♥ — lol i love how this person added the little heart symbol at the end

what you think jannah looks like — ooo a very good question

define Jannah — ‘garden’ ‘heaven’

just jannah pics — no jahannam pics ok

muslim “single parent” allowed — only multiple parents allowed

aunty barish ma — i don’t have an aunty named barish?

what is the physical thing in jannah? — what physical thing?

movie about people arranged that fall in love — awww that sounds like a good romantic comedy

Jannah is our real life — indeed. indeed.

jannah jeans — no wayyy!! i want to get those!

Love Story Because im Girl-Kiss film – huh?

islam referring to wife as your jannah — awww

islam, are hindi movies haram —  islam, what have u to say?

be with someone you love in jannah — yes you will be inshaAllah

charlie lost knuckles FATE — there totally should have been spoiler brackets around that

who wrote ‘arziyan’ song? A R RAHMAN — if you already knew why did u ask??

a.r.rahman is amazing,blogs — blogs, he sure is hehe

dreams of Jannah — ooo another good possible title for a book

Jannah is like — like…. so much awesomeness.

who was buhaira / who is buhaira — haha i like how he tried past and then present tense, he’s the monk guy!!

Where is Jannah — good question

jaja allahu jaja allahu — ??

secrets of jannah — oooo i want to know too

one day of jannah is how many human days — if jannah is forever…then one day is… forever eh…

sooo weird sooo very weird… thanks for googling y’all :)

Protected: Sisters taking off Hijab (on Facebook).

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A scaaaary topic…

Dear blog,

Somehow real people found out about this blog and are now reading it! Ack I’ll have to think of a really scary topic to scare them away. So today, I’m going write about the ugliness of our souls….. still there? *tumbleweed* At least my mom is still reading…ma? maaaaa?!

Ok well anyways blog the other day I was watching this Bollywood horror movie (Yes i know that’s an oxymoron, but I was sick! Don’t I get any type of recreation time after Ulteying a few times?) It was about 3am and I was alone in my room in the dark so that probably made it more effective. The film actually had a semi-decent plot of this beautiful model (c’mon who else!!) who strange things start happening to. This scary looking guy keeps stalking her and one day when someone/thing attacks her he actually saves her. Turns out he’s this artist guy who keeps dreaming about this girl and keeps seeing horrible scenes of her future which he then paints, a la season 1 Heroes. So he is there to warn her, etc etc.

So there’s this one scene where she’s in the bathroom attacked by someone/thing trying to drag her underwater to drown her and she fights him/it off and then looks at the water in the tub and it’s all red. Then when she looks again it’s clear and normal and the candles are still burning and everything’s fine. She thinks maybe she just dreamt it all so she goes to the sink and washes her face with cold water. She takes a deep breath and just looks in the mirror at herself probably calling herself an idiot for believing the artist guy. Then she drops something and bends down to pick it up. For a *split second* as she bends down, THE MIRROR ABOVE THE SINK DOESN’T CHANGE! Then the camera immediately cuts down to her picking whatever up. Then even before we the audience are like ‘did we see? AHHHHHHH’…she stands back up and is looking in the mirror again but then she realizes her in the mirror is not her! It’s like an evil mirror image of her with consciousness that came to life looking back at her! They look at each other for a few seconds before she screams and the evil her just looks back at her. Seriously, it’s a really freaky scene and they filmed it really well to make even us the audience doubt what we were seeing.

And then I started thinking about it, it was so scary because it was her, but she was someone else in the mirror looking back at herself. How scary would it be if we were looking at ourselves in the mirror and all of a sudden the picture changed and it was an evil us looking back at us?

Yet everyday we look at ourselves in the mirror and ignore all our bad and evil characteristics. All our jealousy, anger, hatred, evil-thoughts. Do we not all have an evil side that is always struggling to come out? Have we not done mean, selfish things when we were given a choice? What about that time you never stopped to pick up that guy on that really cold day because you were late for Jumah? What about that time you really hated that girl because she was so pretty? What about that time when you were asked for charity and you thought oh, I might need this later? Truly, when you start thinking about these things, like me, just like that girl, you’ll never want to look in the mirror again.

Still, one Day we will have to look at that mirror so what can we do?

One of the most important lessons that I took away from Sh. Mokhtar’s Hajj seminar was about how we should be at Arafat. When you go, he told us, just be yourself. ACKNOWLEDGE yourself. Allah already knows all your deeds, your past, your future, your good, your evil. He doesn’t need any pretend goodness, play-acting or anyone else. On that wide plain of Arafat with those millions of people you just need to come there and acknowledge all your sins, acknowledge all you are, repent and ask God in sincerity for His forgiveness. Just empty your heart and show your real self.

How beautiful.

Why don’t we do that, in our daily life? Why don’t we acknowledge what we are, understand our own failings and realize the mistakes we have made. I know I for one have a hard time acknowledging my ‘evil side’ but I know it’s there. If I can just accept that and work on it, even if it’s there on the inside I know I’m being true to myself. Perhaps I can meld my two halves and one day come to look in the mirror and even smile.

From Allah we come and to Him we Return.

I attended a funeral yesterday on a very very cold day in March. My car has been acting up by starting to smoke after exactly 25 minutes of driving. (Bad car doesn’t know smoking is bad for it’s health!) So my brother bought something in a can that I put in the radiator and voila it didn’t smoke all the way to work. InshaAllah it stays that way although the scary red “Check Engine” light is still on. So now that my car was fixed it was providence to attend this funeral.

The sister who passed away was old, probably in her 60s or 70s. She had come here with her husband and sons a number of years ago from let’s say Bakhome-istan. The family owned a local ‘quicki mart store’ in our community and she sometimes worked there along with her husband who was there everyday. Her gnarled old hands rung up the items one by one and she never spoke a word of English. He too unfortunately is in the hospital right now and probably won’t recover. Her sons are grown and one lived there above the store with his family and kids and I think they lived there as well. The store is not in the best part of town but it is across the street from our inner city Masjid so got brisk business. It was probably the first time in history that the windows were darkened and the shop was closed up.

The Janazah had maybe a little over 100 people who came. A handful of family, 2 grandkids, some ppl from their country, some kids who came over from the school who had the grandkids in their classes, some who got the email from the listserv about a Janazah today. The service after Asr was very short. They brought the body in a white glossy coffin. We prayed the 4 Takbeerat and then it was over. They lifted her up and took her back to the hearst and most of the men went out with it. They plan to send the body back to her home to be buried.

I wrapped up and went back to my car around 7 and drove home alone.

I found this to be the saddest saddest funeral I’ve ever attended. A woman who traveled so far from her homeland in the hopes of a better life for her children and her children’s children. Who still are struggling and visibly hovering above poverty. I mean what did they come here for? I see so many of these struggling immigrants especially nowadays up here and especially in places like New York city. Anonymous, androgynous, working working middle class, barely scraping a living, their kids half way cultural half way in the shadows. Friendless but trying so hard to stick with their cultural kind. Praying regularly in the inner-city mosque. And now she’s dead and being sent back to her country to be buried.

What does it all mean? What did her life mean?
I don’t know. May Allah have mercy upon her soul and enter her into Jannatul firdous. Ameen.