Social status doesn’t necessarily mean the guy is a go getter. He could have just been born into a certain family, been blessed randomly or been born with a silver spoon. It doesn’t always link to being an “ambitious person”. Furthermore sometimes we should be careful about people who are “too ambitious”. There is a reason we were put on the earth and it isn’t to earn social status.

I don’t look for a guy who has social status and neither do any of my friends. They are looking for a decent guy who is a good Muslim, who has a good personality and is compatible with them. Income is not a big deal. And a few of them do make a little more than their husbands but no one thinks bad of them and I doubt very much she finds him less attractive because of it.

Reputation has no causal link to real life except speculation. Many people have “bad repuations” because of wack cultural ideas. And some people have “good reputations” when they are just wrong. People should stop judging each other and like you said leave it to Allah because only He Knows everything.

About reputation; I mean, it is what it is…if you slip then you simply pay the prize. Whether people judge you or not, it’s irrelevant cos Allah is always there watching.

Anyone who bucks the trend like this post illustrates and says wait why is marriage the be all and end all?, what about everything else in the world? why do i have to wait for marriage to be someone or do something? is taken as strange and “going against the sunnah” or haram or whatever else.

If marriage was a neutral matter for humans and not more deeper need, then Allah would not have equated it with a similar need – the neccesity of clothing – through the ayah:
“They (your wife) are as a garment to you, and you are as a garment to them”

Nor would we have been taught the du’aa of the Qur’an of:
“Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You.” (25:74)

Perhaps another wisdom marriage is that it subtly teaches us that we are in need of creation beyond us, and we do not possess in and of our-selves all that brings about our (own?) happiness. Thus teaching us that only Allah is al-Hassib: The Sufficient, The Sufficing and The Self-Sufficient.

One who feels self-sufficing and believes that their own self, choices and possessions are indispensible to their happiness – can be humbled in a wonderful way through marriage.

Imam Ghazali even goes on to theorize the benefits of marriage, and the first benefit he states is – the pleasure that comes from marriage is meant to give us a ‘taste’ of what the pleasure of the Hereafter must feel like:

“Marriage… is to allow humans to experience its pleasures and measure thereby the pleasures of the Hereafter. Should the pleasure persist, it becomes the strongest of all physical pleasures.

“Conversely fire and its pain are the greatest pains the body can experience. By inducement and intimidation people are led to happiness, which can be achieved only by experiencing pain and pleasure. That which one does not experience by taste is no great endearment for him.”
http://www.ghazali.org/works/abstin.htm

In another writing, Imam Ghazali shows that the pleasure of marriage serves as encouragement for seeking it’s infinite equivalent in the Hereafter – and that it is not possible that this earthly pleasure exists without serving the purpose of encouragement for a higher aim:

“… the pleasure which accompanies it – pleasure which would be unrivaled were it to last – is a harbinger of the promised pleasures in paradise. For to encourage pleasure which one cannot enjoy is pointless.

“Thus were an impotent male encouraged to seek enjoyment of coitus, or were a young boy encouraged to seek rule and power, encouragement would be to no avail. One virtue of the world’s pleasures is that people wish to see them [pleasures] continue in paradise; thus they are an inducement to the worship of God.”
http://www.ghazali.org/works/marriage.htm

A beautiful hadith to keep in heart is the promise of the help of Allah – promised to us by Rasulullah (saw), who said:
“Allah has taken it as a duty upon Himself to help the one who seeks Nikah.”

Anam & Fariah hahaha join me for dessert?

WestCoastBaba- Unfortunatly gf/bf are becoming extremely common in the muslim community and even more than alot of muslim youth are losing their shame about having one and thats really scary and I think alot of it has to do with the pressures you mentioned.

Jannah-that story you told is kinda what inspired this blog-messed up stuff.