Road to Jannah

It’s a weird place to be in life when you don’t belong to any group any more. All your friends are married or have kids, and all the girls at the ’same place in life as you’ are 10 years younger. You have the maturity and experience of someone who’s gone through a lot but you’re still naive and innocent in a lot of ways. Perhaps we slide and shift throughout our lives into and out of different groups. There is no real cohort. Or maybe we’re always doomed to be part of one set whether we belong or not.

I regret not being in touch with the people I grew up with, but yet I don’t want to be in touch with them. I almost want a new set of friends and a new life, yet there is no relationship like the one that’s strengthened with time and shared memories. Unfortunately though, I’ve seen people with the strongest of relationships and friendships over time cut each other off over nothing. Do we change that much? Is friendship made of such gossamer threads?  My mother always said blood is thicker than water and that your friends would always let you down without a backwards glance.

She’s been right in a lot of ways. But not even blood is a true relationship. There may be more of an attachment and sense of duty, but sometimes that too can mean nothing. We see it all the time, in the news, in families, in life. Human beings are just selfish creatures. They move in directions wherever they can gain. It’s all about ‘me’.

So why can’t people see the importance of religion? Religion brings us out of ourselves and makes it not about ‘me’. It’s about us and You. It regulates our relationships. What is the thread that connects? Not blood, not water, not feeling, but connection to God. An upwards connection and not a lateral. Finally, life makes sense and is not subject to the winds of human folly.

‘But religions cause wars’ they say. Does religion or do you? What greater argument or proof can there be of God and religion. We only have to look within ourselves to see it.

Assalaam Alaykum

The Big Picture always has these amazing photographs centered around a theme. So this year I thought instead of writing a Ramadan Diary, I would take some pictures to give you an idea of what Ramadan is like here in upstate New York. They’re definitely not as beautiful unfortunately, I’m not sure how professional photographers do it! Some of the best pictures I take end up blurry (especially the one’s with kids) and I just seem to always miss that perfect shot of the sunset between the trees…and get trees It’s definitely hard to do Ramadan as well as try to be a photographer. I can’t take pictures of praying people while praying of course! And most Muslims hate having their pictures taken, so this is the best I could do… 30 pictures for 30 days… enjoy (30 photos total)

http://jannah.org/ramadan/ramadandiary2009.html

Allahumma Taqabbal Minna wa Minkum. May Allah accept from us and from you.

There are sad days, and

There are days that pierce your soul.

You remember every moment of that day.

You remember minute details of what you wore,

You remember the exact temperature,

You remember how the grass smelled, and

How the rain fell.

~

You remember in slow motion

That first moment of when you knew.

Imprinted in your mind forever.

When the sky fell in and complete disbelief, and

Confusion reigned.

~

Then you saw the proof, and

You still could not understand.

The questions followed, and

Then the blame.

If only I had done this,

If only I had done that,

If only one minute of time had been shifted,

What might have been.

~

Then the knowing,

Knowing,

Knowing.

And you can’t change anything.

Then grief.

Streams and rivers of grief.

Flowing freely,

Perhaps never ending.

Perhaps one day narrowing to a trickle

Or a sweet lake, so still,

But always there.

In your mind.

~

Sometimes the lake overflows and becomes a flood, and

You push it back even though your heart breaks.

Sometimes you don’t.

You just stand there and let it flow over you, and

Become one with your sadness.

Sometimes you stand there in anger, and

You dare the waves to come.

Angry at God, at destiny, at fortune, at circumstance.

But how can you be angry?

~

Then at last there are no tears left, and

You can only sit on the shore,

Tired, drained, given up.

Accepting.

Remembering.

With sorrow, and

Regret.

Not written for 9/11 but mood seems appropriate to post it today.

Why

Why
Do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
Why do my tears not reach
Thine Honourable Door?
Why must I gaze
At this endless desert
And wish that I could be again
In Thy Favour?

O Beloved Oasis once
– Gone now.
All that is left,
This sad mirage
Of empty sand.

I feel abandoned and small
Cut off from the Blessed.
O Lord! Overlook my mistakes
Forgive O Most Forgiving!

Why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
I am so far from Peace.
I yearn in thirst,
– The caravan so far ahead.

But why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
I dream of succour
Of water clear and pure.
I dream of end
Of closeness, of being Near.
I dream of promise,
Soft breezes and no fear.

Yet,
Why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
O Most Merciful of Merciful!
The journey is long
And I am tired now.

As I travel the expanse
Towards the distant sea,
Will ye not answer
This lone supplicant
As to why
My prayers do not reach thee?