Top 10 benefits to wearing Hijab:

• 1. The college-age grocery checkout guys call you “ma’aam’ and ‘miss’.
• 2. Little old ladies say they love the print on your scarf.
• 3. Soccer players on planes ask you why you wear that ‘headgear’ giving you a chance to (ask if they know Posh and Becks!) make Dawah .
• 4. You have a whole other accessory to mix and match with.
• 5. No need to spend an extra ½ hour styling your hair everyday (equal to 5-6 snooze buttons worth of extra zzz’s yayy)
• 6. You can pretend you’re Greta Garbo getting away from the parapazzi.
• 7. Women co-workers think your hair is ‘sooo beautiful’ when they see it in the rest room
• 8. You can confound ppl by telling them ‘no you’re not from Ay-rab’ you’re from the Bronx, thank you.
• 9. Strangers say ‘Salaam’ to you.
• 10. You can color your hair purple or blonde and/or with blue streaks… and no one will ever know!

…And lastly and most importantly…….You are pleasing Allah and inshaAllah will be rewarded.

Hijab Styles

Encouragement for Hijabis

Why you shouldn’t stop wearing Hijab…

I always meant to write this article as a part 2 to the article I wrote titled “Sisters taking off Hijab (on Facebook).” But I received so much hate after that article that I thought I’d back off and never touch the subject again! Looking over logs to the blog however I’ve seen over and over again phrases like ‘thinking of taking off hijab’, ‘reasons to wear hijab’, ‘proof of hijab’, ‘I want to take my hijab off’ and so on. It’s kind of sad if they’re clicking on that article and just reading more reasons to take it off! instead of things that could help them.

So here are the common things that people say when they want to take off Hijab and some things that I tell myself that may help you:

(think of it as the Naf’s arguing with each other )

*Note that this is for those wearing Hijab currently and thinking of taking it off, not others. NOT for those who have already taken it off, are thinking of wearing it, or are not able to wear it yet – this doesn’t apply to you and that’s a whole other article… maybe a part 3-18? )

**Btw as an aside, some sisters who don’t wear Hijab have been some of the best Muslims I know, but the below still holds.

-I don’t think Hijab is obligatory.

Hijab is obligatory (Fard) according to all 4 schools of thought. There is consensus among all the scholars that it is part of being a Muslim. Just like Salah in Islam, not performing it is sinful, but not doing it out of laziness or weakness does not make you a non-Muslim. The only problem is when we say Salah is not part of Islam or that Hijab is not part of Islam. Both are Fard items and we should be careful not to go against all the normative teachings of Islam in this way. There are people out there who claim that it’s not obligatory (who also claim they are scholars) and even tons of laypeople who think they can interpret everything on their own, but there are tons of rebuttals and refutations of those so look those up when you have time. If you need detailed proof of why Hijab is obligatory look up an Imam or scholar near you

(The rest of the information here is predicated on the last one. If someone doesn’t believe it’s obligatory then there’s really no point in wearing it, is there!)

(Also as an aside, sometimes we can feel a lot of guilt and pressure about not wearing it so when we see an “opinion” that we don’t have to, we might want to latch onto that or try to make our own interpretations. This might even be a wholly unconscious process on our parts as well. So it’s good to be careful and refer Islamic Aqeedah issues to knowledgeable sisters and brothers. Not doing something is one thing, but declaring something not part of Islam is another!)

-Hijab is from the Persians and cultural, not really a part of Islam.

Again, it’s good if you look up the proofs of why it’s obligatory in Islam. While Islam does allow a lot of leeway for culture, to make something obligatory in Islam is something else. Islamic law takes precedence over culture. Ask a knowledgable Imam or scholar in your area for more info.

-What’s wrong with just being modest?

Everyone’s opinion on modesty is subjective. One girl might believe jeans and a shirt is modest, while another might believe a knee-length skirt is modest and another might think covering the essentials on a beach is modest! Again Islam came with guidelines from our Creator. If we believe in our Creator, we know that He has sent down Guidance out of His Knowledge of how human beings act or think. Hijab is good for society and for us. The actual exact reason for Hijab is really not known to us. There could be many reasons (physical, spiritual, psychological) and us thinking that ‘it’s just about modesty’ might not be doing justice to why it was made Fard for us.

-I’m getting more attention from guys/men wearing Hijab, so why should I wear it?

It’s true that in the West, Muslim women get more attention, stares and so on from people while wearing Hijab (sometimes in Muslim countries too!), but in truth Hijab is not there to cover us up and make us invisible. One of the things mentioned in the Quran about Hijab is “so that they may be recognised and not annoyed.” Quran 33:59

-I was doing Hijab for Allah before but now I’m doing it for other/cultural reasons.

This can happen to a lot of us. We start out wearing Hijab for the right reasons but then down the line our intentions can change and we might be doing it for the people around us, or peer-pressure or even for a husband or any number of wrong reasons. What I’ve learned from scholars is even if your intention changes or if you don’t feel like wearing it anymore, you should continue. Just like if you feel like you’re not getting anything in your Salahs and want to stop, you shouldn’t stop. Just continue and keep asking Allah for guidance. InshaAllah eventually the sweetness of faith will come back to you and will make it a beneficial rewardable thing for you. At least you are lifting the ‘obligation’ from you by continuing to do it even if you feel you’re not getting anything from it.

- I don’t feel like I’m a good enough Muslim to wear it anymore.

Were we ever perfect Muslims? Will we ever be a perfect Muslim? No I don’t think so. We are always striving to reach our potential as worshipers of God. Sometimes we aren’t so good, sometimes our Iman is low. That doesn’t mean we should end all the good things we are doing currently.

--I’m misrepresenting Islam by wearing it because I still do bad things.

I asked a Shaykh this question and he mentioned that, first of all, this a noble and good thing to feel. We don’t want to misrepresent Islam. But no one is perfect, he said. We should do it and try our best to be a good example. In something else we might weigh the probable consequences and harms but Hijab is obligatory. It’s just like if someone says I’m not good enough to pray, so they don’t pray! A general principle in Islam is that we shouldn’t give up all of, from that which is good. In other words, do whatever good you can do. Allah will help us.

- I feel ugly wearing it and need a boost in self-esteem.

We all know how you feel. We have our bad-hijab days too While taking off the hijab might give one a rush of feeling ‘pretty’ or ‘modern’, true self-esteem comes from valuing your inner self. Let’s stop being dependent on our outside and find our true inner confidence.

-No one will marry me while I’m wearing it.

Yeah I feel you. But there are good brothers out there who are specifically looking for a wife that wears Hijab. And take a look at all the Hijabi girls you know who are married. So don’t worry

-Muslims expect me to be a really good person.

And that’s a bad thing? j/k Are you saying it’s ok to be a bad person then if you don’t wear it? It’s true people will judge you if you wear it, and some people will judge you if you don’t wear it. In the end, what’s most important is what is pleasing to God, not to people.

-I’ll wear it again later when I’m a better Muslim.

Again, this feels like an excuse to just not wear it. Why not continue to wear it and try to be a better Muslim instead?

- I feel like I’m losing my sense of self as a woman and my femininity.

You can still be your own woman and person wearing Hijab, if not more so. People still see you. You don’t need to lose your femininity. You can still look feminine, clean and nice wearing Hijab. Hijab isn’t meant to hide you from society. It is a way of making society function with respect. You don’t have to feel like you are wearing a black sack everyday! There are so many lovely styles and ways to wear Hijab. You can choose a look that is right for you and is still Halal.

-I think I’m just as good a Muslim without it.

Really? So we’re just as good a Muslim if we don’t fast in Ramadan or we don’t give Zakat or don’t do other Fard things? We’re just as good a Muslim if we don’t do even recommended things like charity or Sunnah prayers? Doesn’t make sense! The more good you do, recommended and obligatory things, the better Muslim you are, not the opposite.

- I just don’t feel like it.

I’ve actually heard this from some girls. Well who can argue with that eh?

- I just want a change.

See above.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In conclusion, I know putting on the Hijab is a huge step and changes your whole life. Believe it from someone who started late in life. I know there are some who rush into it but didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. They felt that something. That indefinable Inaaya to try to be a better Muslim and it gave them the motivation to start. It is a struggle, no doubt about it. Whether you’ve been wearing it 6 months or 6 years.

It’s not the end of the world if you take it off and yes you still are a good Muslim and can work towards being a better one. But try inshaAllah. Hijab is a good thing sent down from Allah for our own benefit. Use it as a stepping stone to becoming a better, more interesting, more spiritual, stronger, Muslim human being.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things to try if you’re feeling bad about wearing Hijab:

-       Review your knowledge about Hijab and your intentions about it.

-       Talk to a knowledgeable sister that you look up to about it.

-       Find some new hobbies and interests that help make you a better person on the inside.

-       Go to the Mosque for a Halaqah or Jumah and just be with Muslims.

-       Go out to dinner or hang out with other sisters who wear Hijab and bring up the topic.

-       Try a new Hijab style or different types of Halal clothes. You can find plenty of ‘hijab styling’ videos on youtube that are really nice like these ones from a sister: http://www.youtube.com/Amenakin

-       Have a girl’s party and dress up and wear whatever scandalous clothes and hair designs you like.

-       Find more ways to up your Imaan.

-       More ideas?

Next Week: Top 10 benefits to wearing Hijab  ‘Till then sistahs…Toodles!

In my short (some may say long) lifetime, I’ve been witness to and encountered many cases of domestic abuse and violence…among Muslims! Many sisters have emailed me and joined our forums over the years whose husbands have been verbally, emotionally and/or physically abusive towards them. In real life also, from the time of MSA all the way up until now, there have been a number of cases. In fact, many of these “cases” are even well known on the d/l within the Muslim community. Some cases have resulted in divorce, some have not.


Allow me please to say, WTH!? What on earth gives these Muslim men the idea that any kind of abuse is OK? That it’s OK to call their wife names, to abuse her emotionally, dominate her, not care about her, ignore her wishes and contributions, not help her in anything and even to beat her. Where in our glorious history of our Prophet (saw) did he ever lay a hand on his wives? Where did he ever call them names, or abuse them in any way? Why do these men think it’s OK? A Deen where even a mighty Prophet moved his armies in order to save a tiny ant and her colony; where we are not even allowed to hurt an animal out of injustice! I just can’t understand it.


Those who take a verse or two out of the Quran and twist it in order to justify this type of behavior are even worse. (Specifically the daraba and qawwamuna verses) Where did the normative teachings of Islam go? All the other thousands of verses and Hadith and practice of the companions and righteous throughout the ages? These same people complain that non-Muslims take verses out of context and twist them to suit their needs. Are you not twisting the words of Allah, I mean WHERE WHERE does anything give you support that it’s OK to act like that. It is your twisted interpretation and no one elses.


We all know these men will be responsible in front of Allah. They know what they are doing and it feeds into their psychoses. But what about us? Why is this in any tiny, blind-eye even looking-the-other-way acceptable? Why is this not taught to our sons. In our weekend schools? In our Khutbahs? Do we really want to have families of abusers? Because this behavior is learned generationally. Won’t that be great, to have generations of wife-beating Muslim families!


I remember a long time ago telling someone about some Rishta questions people should ask and the person said ‘why are you doing so much research it’s not like your husband is going to beat you’. Well, duh. As if it never happens among Muslims. I know better. And now we all know better with well publicized cases like Asiya Zubair. For every Asiya there are hundreds more in the US and thousands across the Muslim world. This is unacceptable. We are Muslims and our deen is Islam. Let’s live up to it.

Links:

Muslim Men Against Domestic Violence

Peaceful Families Project: Advocating Against Domestic Violence Among Muslims

Update:JazakiAllahu khairan to Sr. Mahwish for collecting these.

Here is a list of some shelters/agencies working with Muslim women throughout the country.

Muslimaat Al-Nisaa
5115 Liberty Heights Ave,
Baltimore, MD 21207
Phone: 410-466-8686
info@mnisaa.org

Muslimat Al-Nisaa, originally organized in 1987, is a non-profit organization established to provide culturally sensitive health, education and social services to Muslim community women and children. In 2005, co-founders Asma Hanif and Dr Maryam Funches, recognized the need to add a shelter program to the original organizational objectives.

Apna Ghar
4753 N. Broadway Suite 502
Chicago, IL 60640
773-334-0173 phone
773-994-0963 fax
info@apnaghar.org
www.apnaghar.org

Apna Ghar is a domestic violence shelter serving primarily Asian women and children, and was the first Asian shelter of its kind in the Mid-Western United States. Apna Ghar takes its name from a Hindi-Urdu phrase meaning “Our Home”, and since January 1990 has served over 3800 domestic violence clients.

Asian/Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project
DVRP
P.O. Box 14268
Washington, DC 20044
(202) 364-4630 phone
info@dvrp.org
www.dvrp.org

We are a diverse group of volunteers and staff who are committed to ending domestic violence and its effects. We have expertise in a range of areas including education, law, and public health and we draw on the experiences and cultural backgrounds of our members of Asian/Pacific Islander descent.

Baitul Salaam – Atlanta
P.O. Box 11041
Atlanta, GA 30310
(404) 608-8649 haleem1@aol.com http://baitulsalaam.net

We are a non-profit organization consisting of a variety of individuals and businesses in the fight together to end spousal abuse worldwide. Our services include: Counseling and support services, Battered women’s shelter, Temporary financial assistance, Fundraising services, and Employment assistance

Hamdrad Center
355 Wood Dale Rd
Wood Dale, IL 60191
630-860-9122 24-hour Emergency Crisis Line
630-860-2290 phone
630-860-1918 fax

Hamdrad Center provides culturally tailored, multilingual services to domestic violence victims and abusers since 1993. A team of dedicated volunteers has made it possible to establish a fully licensed shelter and a 24 hour Crisis Hotline, and to provide individual and family counseling to families in need.

HOMS – Housing Outreach for Muslim Sisters
P.O. Box 152611
Arlington, TX 76015
1-877-335-4667
homsoutreach@hotmail.com
www.geocities.com/homs99/

H.O.M.S. is a facility designed for Muslim women and their children who are in need of temporary housing/shelter due to family or financial problems.

ISSA – Islamic Social Services Association of USA & Canada
4202 Roblin Blvd
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3R 0E7
Canada
(204) 889-7451 phone
(204) 896-1694 fax
shahinasiddiqui@hotmail.com
sophiaali23@hotmail.com
www.issaservices.com

ISSA is a unique organization since it is not a social service provider, but rather is an organization that serves as a network for addressing the social service concerns Muslims have. ISSA aims to provide support to social service providers through education, training, services and advocacy.

ISTABA is a non-profit full time institute which offers various services to the community. ISTABA also offers the following:
Food Pantry
Food items are provided to needy Muslims and Non Muslims; Open Saturdays 11:00 am – 2:00 pm
Medical Clinic
Red Crescent Medical Clinic is open to Muslims and
Non Muslims and is free for the uninsured. Open Tuesday – Saturday 10:30 am – 5:30 pm
www.istaba.org/Services.htm

Muslim Community Center For Human Services
M. Basheer Ahmed, M.D.
Chairman MCC for Human Services
P.O. Box 152658
Arlington, TX 76015
mcc1999@hotmail.com
817-589-9165 phone
817-483-4699 fax

Muslim Community Center For Human Services offers the following services to the victims of domestic violence. 24-hour helpline 817-589-9165 ;Counseling service for couples ;and/or individuals ;Computer training program for victims of domestic violence ;Arrangements with local shelters if needed ;Educational programs for prevention of domestic violence ;Educational material is also provided

Muslim Women’s Help Network
87-91 144th Street
Jamaica, NY 11435
Tel.: (718) 523-5100
Fax: (718) 658-3434
mwhn@muslimsonline.com

The mission of the Muslim Women’s Help Network is to promote family life in accordance with the Qur’an and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (saw), emphasizing the protection and maintenance of women and children as the foundation for a productive community life.

Muslim Women’s Network
PO Box 14023
Columbus, OH 43214
614-470-2848
mwn839@hotmail.com

The Muslim Women’s Network exists to, insha Allah, provide Islamically-trained workers to build stronger families by: Providing counseling and/or mediation services to the community; Introducing and re-connecting women to their community; Helping women to help themselves; Being a catalyst for social change. In the Muslim Women’s Network & Community Services we hope, insha Allah, to support sisters in many ways but to focus our services toward the following core groups: widows, the displaced, the disenfranchised and the abused of our community.

Narika
P.O. Box 14014
Berkeley, CA 94712
510-540-0754 Office
1-800-215-7308 Helpline
Info@narika.org
www.narika.org

Narika was founded in 1992 to address the problem of domestic violence in the South Asian community. Embracing the notion of women’s empowerment, Narika set out to address the unmet needs of abused South Asian women by providing advocacy, support, information, and referrals within a culturally sensitive model. We serve women who trace their origins to Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Nepal, Pakistan,
Sri Lanka and diasporic communities such as Fiji and the Caribbean.

Niswa
P.O. Box 1403
Alomita, CA 93717
310-782-2482

Here are some additional links:
http://www.karamah.org/domestic_violence.htm (Washington DC)
http://www.sakhi.org/ (Sakhi for South Asian Women, New York)
http://www.chayaseattle.org/ (Chaya, Seattle)
http://turningpoint-ny.org/aboutus.html (Turning Point, New York)

Thank you to the brasscrescent awards for nominating my blog and for those who voted for me!! I actually won!! I’ve noticed a spike in the amount of readers. Probably hundreds of new people. This really scares me. But hey, welcome aboard. Please click on the archive list of all posts down there on the left and read up on what you’ve missed. You’ll perhaps like to start with Islam op-eds. And comment!!

Jazaks.

Update: Adding the nice description by br wcoastbaba which is a good introduction & almost as good as an award

A blog that I’ve been following for the last year or so (I am a member of the author’s awesome website as well) won the award for Best Blog Design among Muslim blogs as per the 6th Annual Brass Crescent Awards. Aside from the very cool design that immediately pops out at you upon arriving on the homepage, the blog itself, entitled ‘Road To Jannah’.which is not to be out-done by the catchy avatar, contains many posts that are also outstanding; some sample blog posts include: Top 10 Advice for Single Muslim Sisters Wanting to Get Married, Muslim Etiquette Guide to Life, Money & Modern Dilemmas, Signs You’re Getting Old(er), and Advice for Muslims Guys (aka how not to be a jerk) just to name a few.

Entries also include poems written by the author and as well as her reflections on personal experiences ( well, each blog entry does reflect an experience or a part thereof that Sister Jannah has gone through at some point or another) and many have provided for lively debate amongst us members, especially the last one listed above.

So please stop by Sister Jannah’s blog if you have some free time; you’ll have a great read and perhaps enlighten us with some of your own input into the various subjects that have been addressed. Ma’salaam / Peace be with you.