Archive from April, 2012
Apr 24, 2012 - albanyia    14 Comments

Islamic Retreat in the Adirondacks

Updated for this year!!!

retreat

DATES: June 10th – June 20th, 2012

TEACHER: Sessions will be taught by Sh. Mokhtar Maghraoui.

Click here for more information and to register online: http://www.jannah.org/retreat/
http://www.zawiyah.net

Apr 20, 2012 - for muslim women    2 Comments

Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Muslim Girls

Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Muslim Girls




I realllly liked this article and wanted to write something similar but specific to Muslim girls. A few years ago I wrote an article for Muslim girls which is kind of similar but probably for an older age group.

So…. ten things I want to tell teenage Muslim girls….

  1. 1. Stop posting hootchie pictures of yourself on Facebook. Better yet, stop dressing hootchie. I get it, it’s nice to get all the attention and all the boys “liking” your picture and telling you ‘ur so beeeutiful’, ‘ur sooo hawttt’. But in the end what exactly are you doing?? Yeah guys are going to like it, but your rep is your rep. You’ll always be known as that ‘skanky’ girl. Nice to hang out with, look at, or use temporarily. Can’t respect yourself? Why should they? Btw if you want marriage one day to a good guy, no guy is going to come near u with a ten foot pole. Trust me on this.

 

  1. 2. Don’t use Fair n’ Lovely. Don’t use diet pills. Don’t use hair straightener. Don’t wear green contacts. Just don’t do anything to yourself that you don’t want to do. Society has ridiculous standards. I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never be thin enough, white enough/tan enough, pretty enough etc. Advertising wants you to feel bad about yourself, that’s how they sell products. Also, America has yet to realize the beauty of other cultures, ie Indian beauty dark hair and eyes, Malaysian beauty, Sudani beauty etc etc. You’re beautiful the way you are. And don’t forget it.

 

  1. 3. Avoid dramas & stop trying to be with the popular girls. Do you know where the popular girls end up usually? Yeah. Nowhere. Now the smart girls, the brainy girls, the one’s with goals, and thoughts and crazy ideas. They do great stuff in life. Now, what’s with all the drama with girls. Why start it, why get involved? What’s the point? Think about all your past dramas. Did they help you in any way in life? Did you gain anything at all? Don’t waste your time and energy. And do yourself a favor and stay away from the girls who like to surround themselves with drama too. Recognize that some ‘friends’ are always going to be ‘frenemies’. Just stay away from them, you’ll thank me one day. ;)

 

  1. 4. Don’t start a relationship you can’t finish. Having a ‘boyfriend’ ie someone you talk to all the time and hangout with even if you don’t call them ur boyfriend is not worth it. Besides being Haram, you can’t really do anything about it at this age. It’ll cause a ton of drama and hurt and feelings throughout these years when you should be concentrating on developing yourself. Do you really want to wake up in your 20s ready for marriage when you have a string of past failed relationships behind you. Yeah it’s ugly. Don’t do it.

 

  1. 5. You can be pretty ugly inside. Yep you. What’s inside? Things like honesty, compassion, modesty, faith, love, Allah consciousness? Or is it jealousy, backbiting, lying, ignorance, and hate. Yeah. Work on the insides just like you try to prettify the outside! Being spiritual and working on your character is essential to being a better girl and Muslim.

  1. 6. Do all your prayers and fasts. For some reason this society teaches you that you’re a little kid until you’re 18. In Islam, you’re an adult at puberty! You’re responsible for your 5 prayers and fasting in Ramadan. Even if you miss some prayers because ur at school or Fajr, make it up as soon as you can. I know one sister who has been praying an extra prayer with every prayer, and she’ll have to do this for YEARS to make up for what she neglected when she was a teenager.

 

  1. 7. Read! Please for the love of Allah read. Doesn’t matter if it’s Twilight or the Hunger Games, but read something. Reading just makes you a more interesting, intelligent and cultured person. Something you want to be! (I hope :))

 

  1. 8. Don’t let a guy use you. Guys in their teenage years like to explore and have friends that are girls. It makes them feel like they have someone. But it doesn’t last. They still have a ton of years to go through high school experiences, college and so on. Don’t get all entangled and dependent on a guy.

 

  1. 9. Do stuff. Don’t just sit at home watching ur favorite CW show and doing ur nails. Volunteer with an organization, get involved with the Mosque youth group, start things in your community. Try different things. Go to classes and Halaqas and start learning. Older people always say this ‘is the best time in your life’ blah blah. But yeah it can be, so don’t waste it!

 

  1. 10. Your parents love you. Growing up here we’re always trained to think of our parents as our enemies. They’re just so annoying and wrong and don’t understand and make us do stuff we don’t like and curb our freedom! But they’re also the only people in the world that have your back and love you unconditionally. Don’t forget that.

    …especially when the zombies come :D

 

Apr 13, 2012 - writings    3 Comments

Friends

There’s a scene in Dil Chahta Hai where the three protagonists right after their college graduation take a road trip to a resort. They’re overlooking the beautiful ocean in the distance and one says, “We should meet out here every 10 years!”. And the more mature and wiser one of them says (of course what is to be an omen, this is Bollywood u know! :)), “What makes you think we’ll meet even once in the next 10 years or that we’ll still be friends then?”

When we are little we always imagine that we’ll grow up with our close friends, get married and live near each other with our husbands and kids! I still remember us making plans with friends when we were 15 and 16. Sadly that group of friends’ plans fizzled when college started and everyone was flung out all over the US and world even. Somehow over time people lose touch, misunderstandings and miscommunications occur. People change, they get busy, they develop new interests and patterns, the dynamics of the group change, new people come in, jealousy and unnecessary drama, all contribute to the end of what was in its naive innocence a close friendship.

I think close friendships that are positive relationship wise and not predatory (using each other for something) are very rare to find. Perhaps the best example we can find is the friendship between Rasulullah (s) and Abu Bakr (ra). Neither “used” the other for anything but yet were always supportive and there for each other. When Rasulullah (saw) left for the Hijrah, who did he find but Abu Bakr (ra) with a horse and provisions ready to be his companion. When Rasulullah (saw) asked for help for the cause of Allah, Abu Bakr (ra) came with all the money he had to the exasperation of Omar (ra) who said he might as well stop competing now! When asked who he loved the most in the world Rasulullah (saw) said Abu Bakr (ra), and when asked who next he said his (Abu Bakr’s) daughter.

Friendship is definitely a two way street. It’s sad when people stop hanging out or calling each other etc. I know I’ve neglected a lot of friendships because of my own issues and problems. But as I get older, I realize that it’s really important to keep in touch and keep those friendships alive. It seems 20xs harder to make new friends as you get older too! I actually wish I kept more in touch with my old high school and college friends too.

This is a reminder to myself perhaps how precious good friends are and how they are needed on this ‘Road to Jannah’.

 

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