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Apr 20, 2012 - for muslim women    2 Comments

Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Muslim Girls

Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Muslim Girls




I realllly liked this article and wanted to write something similar but specific to Muslim girls. A few years ago I wrote an article for Muslim girls which is kind of similar but probably for an older age group.

So…. ten things I want to tell teenage Muslim girls….

  1. 1. Stop posting hootchie pictures of yourself on Facebook. Better yet, stop dressing hootchie. I get it, it’s nice to get all the attention and all the boys “liking” your picture and telling you ‘ur so beeeutiful’, ‘ur sooo hawttt’. But in the end what exactly are you doing?? Yeah guys are going to like it, but your rep is your rep. You’ll always be known as that ‘skanky’ girl. Nice to hang out with, look at, or use temporarily. Can’t respect yourself? Why should they? Btw if you want marriage one day to a good guy, no guy is going to come near u with a ten foot pole. Trust me on this.

 

  1. 2. Don’t use Fair n’ Lovely. Don’t use diet pills. Don’t use hair straightener. Don’t wear green contacts. Just don’t do anything to yourself that you don’t want to do. Society has ridiculous standards. I’ll tell you right now, you’ll never be thin enough, white enough/tan enough, pretty enough etc. Advertising wants you to feel bad about yourself, that’s how they sell products. Also, America has yet to realize the beauty of other cultures, ie Indian beauty dark hair and eyes, Malaysian beauty, Sudani beauty etc etc. You’re beautiful the way you are. And don’t forget it.

 

  1. 3. Avoid dramas & stop trying to be with the popular girls. Do you know where the popular girls end up usually? Yeah. Nowhere. Now the smart girls, the brainy girls, the one’s with goals, and thoughts and crazy ideas. They do great stuff in life. Now, what’s with all the drama with girls. Why start it, why get involved? What’s the point? Think about all your past dramas. Did they help you in any way in life? Did you gain anything at all? Don’t waste your time and energy. And do yourself a favor and stay away from the girls who like to surround themselves with drama too. Recognize that some ‘friends’ are always going to be ‘frenemies’. Just stay away from them, you’ll thank me one day. ;)

 

  1. 4. Don’t start a relationship you can’t finish. Having a ‘boyfriend’ ie someone you talk to all the time and hangout with even if you don’t call them ur boyfriend is not worth it. Besides being Haram, you can’t really do anything about it at this age. It’ll cause a ton of drama and hurt and feelings throughout these years when you should be concentrating on developing yourself. Do you really want to wake up in your 20s ready for marriage when you have a string of past failed relationships behind you. Yeah it’s ugly. Don’t do it.

 

  1. 5. You can be pretty ugly inside. Yep you. What’s inside? Things like honesty, compassion, modesty, faith, love, Allah consciousness? Or is it jealousy, backbiting, lying, ignorance, and hate. Yeah. Work on the insides just like you try to prettify the outside! Being spiritual and working on your character is essential to being a better girl and Muslim.

  1. 6. Do all your prayers and fasts. For some reason this society teaches you that you’re a little kid until you’re 18. In Islam, you’re an adult at puberty! You’re responsible for your 5 prayers and fasting in Ramadan. Even if you miss some prayers because ur at school or Fajr, make it up as soon as you can. I know one sister who has been praying an extra prayer with every prayer, and she’ll have to do this for YEARS to make up for what she neglected when she was a teenager.

 

  1. 7. Read! Please for the love of Allah read. Doesn’t matter if it’s Twilight or the Hunger Games, but read something. Reading just makes you a more interesting, intelligent and cultured person. Something you want to be! (I hope :))

 

  1. 8. Don’t let a guy use you. Guys in their teenage years like to explore and have friends that are girls. It makes them feel like they have someone. But it doesn’t last. They still have a ton of years to go through high school experiences, college and so on. Don’t get all entangled and dependent on a guy.

 

  1. 9. Do stuff. Don’t just sit at home watching ur favorite CW show and doing ur nails. Volunteer with an organization, get involved with the Mosque youth group, start things in your community. Try different things. Go to classes and Halaqas and start learning. Older people always say this ‘is the best time in your life’ blah blah. But yeah it can be, so don’t waste it!

 

  1. 10. Your parents love you. Growing up here we’re always trained to think of our parents as our enemies. They’re just so annoying and wrong and don’t understand and make us do stuff we don’t like and curb our freedom! But they’re also the only people in the world that have your back and love you unconditionally. Don’t forget that.

    …especially when the zombies come :D

 

Aug 17, 2011 - for muslim women    1 Comment

Beautiful Aspects Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women

Salam someone sent this awhile ago in response to the post I had about what Muslim Women found attractive. The usual “beauty”, “cooking”, “obedience” is on the list. Overall though I liked the other things mentioned and I liked how the author explained some of the things using Hadith.  What do y’all think? Is this a true list for guys?

10 Beautiful Aspects Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women

 

 

1. Her Obedience to the Creator: A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness): Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.[1]

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning): .

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in “Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty: Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others. Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness: Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness: Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience: Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience: Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

8. Her Cooking: Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq: No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported: The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

10. Good Manners: A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Feb 4, 2011 - for muslim women    1 Comment

INFOGRAPHIC – Guide to Islamic Veils Hijab Muslim Women’s Dress

I made this little infographic guide after seeing one that was really inaccurate. Click to see full size. Feel free to spread it around!!

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