Road to Jannah

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On Love, Pride & Prejudice and Islam

by Br Khalid

Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express.”

“I am sorry, exceedingly sorry,” replied Darcy, in a tone of surprise and emotion, “that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted.”

“You must not blame my aunt. Lydia’s thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest till I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them.”

“If you will thank me,” he replied, “let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you.”

Many of you will recognise the above as the conversation between the two main protagonists in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice before Darcy proposes marriage to Elizabeth for the second time in the book.

As we all know, the answer he obtains at this juncture is markedly different from the response he receives during his first rather feeble attempt.

Pride and Prejudice is considered a classic in English literature and, following the BBC adaptation of the book in the 1990s, has risen incredibly in popularity fueling an amazing spin off industry of its own.

From an Islamic point of view, however, why should we care?

Isn’t it just another boy meets girl–boy falls for girl–boy loses girl–boy gets girl back-kind of story which is so prevalent in modern day Hollywood?

That may well be the case but I have always been of the opinion that there are some very strong Islamic themes which can be identified from the novel, with the paragraph quoted above being just one typical example.

Repentance

It is said that repentance in Islam is composed of three things:

1.   Knowledge of one’s wrong actions

2.   Remorse over one’s wrong actions

3.   Resolution not to return to those wrong actions as well as a resolution in redressing any wrongs associated with the past

As Imam Ghazali says in his Ihya:

As long as man knows not that transgressions are the causes from the remoteness of the Beloved, he will neither regret nor grieve over his travelling on the path of withdrawal. As long as he is not grieved, he will not turn back, retreat being abandonment and determination.

Could we argue that only when Darcy was deep into the writing of Elizabeth’s letter, detailing his behaviour and role in the break up of Bingley and Jane, that he finally started to see the error of his ways?

Did this lead to remorse and an attempt to rectify previous wrongs?

If so, what does that say about us as Muslims in this day and age? Do we really know enough about ourselves and our religion to able to identify whether we are transgressing or not?

Or are we simply amongst those people who think we are doing nothing wrong and are perfectly fine but then discover to our horror that the following verse may actually apply to us:

Say: “Shall we tell you of those who lose most in respect of their deeds?-

“Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?”

One can’t repent if one is in a state of ignorance over one’s own transgressions.

This is why the acquisition of knowledge is paramount no matter who or where we are in the world, and, possibly why, in the absence thereof we are commanded to constantly seek Allah’s forgiveness.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

I heard Allah’s Apostle (s) saying.

” By Allah! I ask for forgiveness from Allah and turn to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day.”

[Bukhari]

Sincerity

When Darcy asks for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage for the second time, he prefaces his proposal by his resolve in only helping Elizabeth’s family for her sake alone and for no one else.

“If you will thank me,” he replied, “let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you.”

In Islam, the Qur’an constantly reminds us about sincerity and that our worship and servitude should only be ‘for Allah’

Verily it is We Who have revealed the Book to thee in Truth: so serve Allah, offering Him sincere devotion. Is it not to Allah that sincere devotion is due?…

…Say: “It is Allah I serve, with my sincere (and exclusive) devotion…

..Call ye, then, upon Allah with sincere devotion to Him..

…He is the Living (One): There is no god but He: Call upon Him, giving Him sincere devotion…

Of course sincerity is linked to repentance since one cannot really truly resolve to abstain from wrong if one is not sincere in that claim. As such, Allah addresses the believers in this regard:

O ye who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance..

There could be an argument made here that one of the reasons why we constantly fail in our endeavours is because of a lack of sincerity in our actions and in our intentions.

The (true) believers are those only who believe in Allah and His Messenger and afterward doubt not, but strive with their wealth and their lives for the cause of Allah. Such are the sincere.

The indication from the above verse is that sincerity is not merely a passive belief in Allah and and His Messenger but also involves an *active* effort in terms of striving and self improvement.

Would Elizabeth have been so impressed with Darcy’s actions if he had not personally sought out Wickham and Lydia rather than just sending a servant to conclude the agreement?

Love

What is love?

What does love mean?

How does one fall in love?

All good valid questions but do we have any corresponding good valid answers?

Well from the preceding discussion, it can be seen there is some type of link between sincerity and love. Interestingly enough, a heart is the most commonly used symbol for love in the world today and the scholars of Islam agree that sincerity emanates from the heart which is the seat and place of intentions.

Does that mean someone who says ‘I sincere you’ is telling you that he or she loves you?

Although both maybe completely heartfelt statements, it just doesn’t sound quite right does it?

So what *do* we know about love?

Well, we know that love is something which is a gift given to us from Allah, as one of the most oft repeated verses from the Qur’an on this topic indicates:

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

But rather than just being a blessing given to us, an element of striving also results in our receipt of love from Allah:

On those who believe and work deeds of righteousness, will (God) Most Gracious bestow love.

One of the Names of Allah is Al Wadud which is often translated as The Loving or The Loving Kind.

Indeed Imam Ghazali says the following on this Name in his book on The Ninety Nine Beautiful Names of God:

Its meaning is close to ‘The Merciful’, but mercy is linked with one who receives mercy, and the one who receives mercy is needy and poor. So the actions of The Merciful presupposes there being one who is weak to receive mercy, while the actions of The Loving Kind do not require that. Rather, bestowing favours from the outset results from loving kindness

Hence love is bestowed without any pre existing conditions and such unconditional love is rare if not extinct amongst mankind today.

Imam Ghazali goes on to say that man’s share in this Name is the ability to ..desire for God’s creatures whatever he desires for himself.. and that a higher degree still are those who prefer God’s creatures over and above themselves.

He continues by saying:

The perfection of that virtue occurs when not even anger, hatred and the harm he might receive can keep him from altruism and goodness.

As the Messenger of God (s) said when his tooth was broken and his face was struck and bloodied:

‘Lord, guide my people, for they do not know’.

Not even their actions prevented him from intending their good

Such are those who have the capacity to love!!!

That capacity is something that takes time to nurture and build since it requires strength of will on our part together with resolve and determination. This process of Tazkiyah or the purification of the self (or soul) is often likened to a journey whereby the servant starts with repentance and proceeds to purify his heart through acts of obedience to his Lord such that any remnants of previous misdeeds are washed away.

This is alluded to in the following verses of the Qur’an:

”There is a mosque whose foundation was laid from the first day on piety; it is more worthy of the standing forth (for prayer) therein. In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loveth those who make themselves pure.”

“For God loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.”

And in the famous Hadith Qudsi as related by Imam Bukhari

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Apostle (s) said, “Allah said,

‘I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of Mine. And the most beloved things with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) till I love him, so I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he grips, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My protection (Refuge), I will protect him; (i.e. give him My Refuge) and I do not hesitate to do anything as I hesitate to take the soul of the believer, for he hates death, and I hate to disappoint him.”

What I find so interesting about this is the level of involvement we have in determining the love that Allah shows for us. Rather than being a mere passive bestowal, we can play an active part in receiving the love of Allah by striving in his path and performing righteous deeds. Obviously the more one does along this path [in terms of extra voluntary deeds], the greater the reciprocal reward.

What is equally fascinating, however, is that this love which comes with one’s struggle and one’s efforts also begins to emanate from the creation as well as from The Creator.

Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (s) said:

When Allah loves a servant, He calls Gabriel and says: Verily, I love so and so; you should also love him, and then Gabriel begins to love him.

Then he makes an announcement in the Heaven saying: Allah loves so and so and you also love him, and then the inhabitants of the Heaven (the Angels) also begin to love him and then there is conferred honour upon him in the earth;

and when Allah is angry with any servant He calls Gabriel and says: I am angry with such and such and you also become angry with him, and then Gabriel also becomes angry and then makes an announcement amongst the inhabitants of heaven: Verily Allah is angry with so-and so, so you also become angry with him, and thus they also become angry with him. Then he becomes the object of wrath on the earth also.

[Muslim]

Hence the process of purification can not only increase one’s capacity *to love* but also increases the capacity of *being loved*!!

Conclusion

For those faithful, sincere and purified servants of Allah, there are at least two rewards which await them.

The first relates to Satan’s promise that he would mislead the son of Adam after being banished from the heavenly realm:

(Iblis) said: “O my Lord! because Thou hast put me in the wrong, I will make (wrong) fair-seeming to them on the earth, and I will put them all in the wrong,

Except Thy servants among them, sincere and purified (by Thy Grace).”

Thus they live in the world with the protection, love and grace of Allah such that Satan and his cohorts no longer have the ability to affect them. In itself, what a reward indeed!!

The second relates to the Hereafter:

And the Garden will be brought nigh to the Righteous,- no more a thing distant.

A voice will say: “This is what was promised for you,- for everyone who turned (to Allah) in sincere repentance, who kept (His Law),

Who feared (Allah) Most Gracious Unseen, and brought a heart turned in devotion (to Him):

“Enter ye therein in Peace and Security; this is a Day of Eternal Life!”

May Allah grant us the ability to be people of repentance and sincerity who struggle with might and main in His cause, such that we become of those who are pure and beloved by our Lord.

And Allah knows best.

Wasalaam
Br Khalid

Father and Daughter

A few weeks ago in my class, I overheard one of my students teasing his sister by threatening to read her diary.

‘Oh yeahhh’, he said. ‘Well, I’m gonna get ur diary and read it to everyone! Haha!’

‘Whaaatttt! What diary?’

‘Your flower covered one I know where it is! Under ur bed, all girrrrrls keep a diary!’

‘Nuhhhh-uhhhhh’

Me interrupting and hopefully forestalling the fight:  ‘There’s nothing wrong with keeping a diary, lots of people do, even boys. You can call it a journal if you want. You write out everything that happens about your day. In fact, a lot of people have blogs, which are like online journals. Even me. Why don’t you write something for my blog? Sometimes when you write something out you feel better about things.’

He asks, ‘What could I write about?’

Me:  ‘Well, you could write about your experiences with what happened to your father.’

He looked thoughtful and gave a shrug.

A few days later the little girl comes to me with a tiny note on purple-lined Lisa Frank paper.

‘This is for your blog, sister Jannah’.

My Father

The day my father left was a disaster

the FBI came in the house and made

a huge mess. I really didn’t like that

ATALL. When my father was with me

and was at home, he always told me

“Mama get up were going to the

mosque to pray” I really loved it when

he said that. I love my father dearly

and I would be more than happy if

he came back

home. (smiley face)

(sideways on the paper on top of the kitten angel pic) I (heart) MY DAD!

‘Mama?’, I asked.

‘Yeah, that’s what he used to call me…just…he used to say ‘Mama let’s go’… just like that…’

Her father is one of the hundreds of innocent Muslims detained and unjustly prosecuted by the government in the climate of fear after 9/11. He is currently in jail for the next 15 years and is of advanced years with health problems.

See Project Salam, the Muslim Solidarity Committee,  Yassin Aref and the new film Waiting for Mercy for more information on many of these cases of innocent fathers taken from their children.

Retarted Behaviors and the ‘Happy Ending’ by Adilah AM

This past week I found out a friend recently got divorced (it turns out her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive) but what disturbed me the most is that she is currently in a new relationship. Unfortunately this type of relationship hopping is something that I see a lot of girls do and I have never understood it? Yea I guess on a superficial level I understand that some girls need men or need to be in a relationship to feel secure about themselves, that still leaves me wondering why? Why does scoiety aka friends and family, determine a girl’s worth based on whether she’s had a successful male relationship- whether “she’s got a man”? Granted there are a lot of guys who girl hop, marriage hop, divorce hop, etc… But a man could go 5 years (if not longer) and not have anyone bother him about marriage.

I believe that all serious relationships needs some sort of reflecting/ healing period. You can’t tell me that starting a new relationship 3 weeks after a divorce or even a month after an 8 month relationship is normal and especially if you were emotionally attached to the person….feelings don’t die overnight. Maybe part of the reason why these women jump from relationship to relationship is the pressure society places on marriage, love, sex and the “Happy ending”. I can’t tell you how many people a month are like “How are you? …. Don’t worry you’ll get married soon” or (from non-Muslims) “So you can’t have sex till after marriage…..How does that work?” Admittedly I’m a bit jealous of guys, again they can be freakin’ 32 and nobody’s bothering them about marriage.

Another attitude I hate a lot is this notion that your life doesn’t start till after married. “You bought a house?…You’re not married! ….You’re gonna adopt? Don’t you need a husband for that?” (If Angelina Jolie and Madonna can have a billion kids from Africa so can I) “You’re gonna study abroad? …What about marriage?”  “Only bad girls stay out late at night ….nobody will marry you if you have a bad reputation!” and don’t get me started on the retarded importance Muslims place on “reputation”.
Somebody recently remarked “I’m sick of all these songs where the man is singing about how great it is that women are taking care of themselves, it’s sad that men can’t take care of their women”. Since when is a woman providing for herself a bad thing? It reminds me of that Beyonce song “The shoes on my feet – I bought it, the house I live in – I bought it” damn straight! And where did men get the retarded notion (that I dare to say a majority Muslim men hold) that a woman who earns more than their man, who has more education than their spouse is a threat?

Recently I was reading a forum that was discussing this very topic and some guy said “If my wife was a doctor, I’d feel competition with her even if she was totally chill about it. I’d feel emasculated if she made more than me or even just as much as me.” That mentality just boggles my mind, why does manhood have to be defined by how much money you make? Yes the husband is supposed to be able to take care of his wife, but that does not mean that he has to make more than his wife. Manhood should not be defined by retarded things like how much money you make, but rather how well you treat people around you. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying rich husbands aren’t great, I’m just saying that for a man to be able to buy his girl a huge diamond ring, or a nice furnished house doesn’t prove you’re a man. All it proves is that you have money ( and maybe good taste), If your woman is able to buy you a Lamborghini or the Knicks doesn’t make her any less of woman or you any less of a man.

So in conclusion, society aka family, friends, random guy stalkers… need to shut up about marriage, love, sex, and weddings. If I wanna buy my own house – whats it to you? If I don’t want to get married – whats it to you? If I wanna adopt my own kids – whats it to you? If I wanna try every dessert in the world and gain 50 pounds I’m going to….and it’s gonna be fun and I will enjoy it.

(Go Adi! Guess she told you guys…:)  What do u think of her thoughts??)

If you would also like to write a guest blog on any contemporary topic, please let me know!

View from Salahuddin's Citadel, Old Cairo

Contrast
by Qaahira Capricious

Once again I find myself in an airplane speeding towards a new home, memories and countries left behind and the unknown stretching ahead like the wide expanse of the night sky.  From my window the city of New York is a dazzling array of a million tiny lights spread on a blanket of black. As we ascend into the sky I see the distinct outline of the Empire State Building, the red light at her top winking at me slowly, and the other skyrise buildings that make up the world’s most famous skyline.  I spot a long bridge of lights seated over a river of darkness, and then the lights become more scattered and it’s clear we’ve moved away from the city proper.

I lean back and stretch my legs and marvel at my ability to do so.  I am enjoying the unexpected luxury of flying first class.  From my first-time observations it seems to me that its benefits can be summarized as the following: 1. actual space for your legs, 2. an almost overly-solicitous flight attendant, and 3. alcohol, lots of alcohol.  Suffice it to say that we were the only ones who ordered juice and water on our journey (and not margaritas, white wine, red wine, lager, or any of the other new vocabulary words I learned), and were perhaps the only ones of that class of passenger who had to find a more natural means of relaxing in travel.

—

We left Cairo in a rush of packed boxes and last minute goodbyes.  My mother-in-law had been critically ill for some time, but its really serious effects had not manifested themselves until more recently.  My husband was torn: We had finally settled, after some hectic months, into a comfortable apartment, made connections and friends, and had begun our studies seriously.  What to do when your passion and dreams lay on one side of the ocean, and your family in need on the other?  A shaykh pointed us in the right direction, confirming the decision we already knew we had to make:  This ‘ilm was made for realizing and acting upon in our relationship with others.  The purpose of studying Arabic/Islam was not to simply learn about ‘haal’ and ‘tameez’, but to change one’s own haal [state], and to make tameez [distinction] of one’s self in Allah’s sight by being in the khidmah [service] of those closest to you.  What is the benefit of this knowledge if one is not affected by it personally for the better, and doesn’t use it to benefit those around them?

We booked our tickets for travel in five days.  This was the first difficulty that surprisingly came with ease.  A verse in the Quran, repeated twice in Surah Al-Sharh, couples them together: “Inna ma’al usri yusraa” [Indeed with difficulty there is relief/ease].  The conjunction “ma’a” [with] here is interesting linguistically because it does not indicate that one comes after the other, but simply that they are joined together.  Perhaps at the same time you have a trial or tribulation in your life, you may encounter something that brings relief; or it may be that the trial itself, when looked at from a different angle or perspective that can actually be considered a type of comfort.

My studies had been seriously curbed by my new role as ‘Momma’ but being in Cairo and around other students of knowledge still gave me access to a few classes and at least that culture of talab al-’ilm which I had become accustomed to.  Now we had to put a hold on our studies, pack up an apartment and find a place for our remaining things, and prepare to travel back to the US indefinitely, on such short notice.

It was strange that at this time I actually felt a deep sense of calm, that upon reflection I feel must have been a gift from Allah ta’ala.  Everything came together so easily in those few days, due in large part to the sisters there who came forward and were so generous with their time and efforts to help me.  Some came to play with and watch my baby son,  help pack and label boxes, and even cook for us.  I could only feel gratitude for the small community of sorts of Westerners there studying and the kindness I have seen from them on so many occasions that cannot be repaid.

After a relatively smooth flight, we got off the plane in a cold and icy New York to find two men in uniform checking the passports of all the exiting passengers.  When they got to my husband’s they gave each other a nod and one said to the other ‘This is the one.’  Ya Allah!  My husband and I looked at each other and he said to me, ‘Hmm, that’s probably not a good sign.’  I suppose it was just our turn, seeing as most of the other Muslims we know, especially those who travel overseas to study, are already familiar with this experience.  They took us to the office for Homeland Security in the airport and proceeded to ask my husband a number of questions and go through our luggage.  The luggage search would have been amusing if it wasn’t so nerve-wracking.  My husband packs like a true student (books, books, books, and oh yeah a pair of pants), while the officer obviously did not know Arabic, and ended up asking what this or that book was about, and glanced through a text of fiqh upside down.  I was almost put out by how little interest they had in me (Hey I was studying too!?) and seeing the other officers interaction with other ’suspects’ was almost sitcom material.  I remember distinctly one officer with a heavy New York accent asking a well-dressed, non-English speaking latino man about making a phone call, “Here, why don’t you g’ahead and call sumbody… you know…  some of your amigos? familia?” which I think was a demonstration of the extent of his Spanish vocabulary.  (It’s scary really that these types of investigations take place when there is a langage barrier and what seems like no translators.)

While all this was occuring, I was busy trying to keep my son, already tired from travel, occupied.  We went for a walk around the luggage area, and the stillness and quiet of the usually bustling airport was almost eerie.  Taking a look at the ‘Arrival’ and ‘Departure’ screens showed a long list of cancelled flights, with ours included, due to the ice and severe winds.  Only a handful of passengers remained in the airport, walking here or there, while the few employees on duty lounged together in corners, chatting and drinking coffee to fight off the bitter cold.

When they were finished we went to the check-in counter for our airline and found another passenger arguing with the man behind the counter.  “We don’t provide hotels when a flight is cancelled due to the weather.  I can’t help you.  Sorry.”  I assumed that we would receive a similar response, but they must have been sympathetic with the weary-looking couple approaching them with a cranky baby.  They offered us a nice hotel room for the night, as well as upgrading our tickets to first class for our continuing travel the next day.  Another hardship, another ease, and as I studied the snow-covered city from the window of our shuttle to the hotel, I could only think, this is a lesson Allah is trying to teach me.

—

I’m surrounded by sleepers, my husband leaning back in his seat, my son curled in my arms, the lights of the cabin dim and the outside world dark.  My mind is busy trying to make sense of the things that have occured and what lies ahead of us.  This lesson I have learned resonates inside me.  I wonder how many challenges and difficulties I’ve faced in life, seeing only the bleakness of hardship while completely missing the ‘yusraa’ that Allah had coupled with it?  How many failures had I endured with patience, when one who ‘knows’ would have been in shukr [gratitude] for the khayr folded inside of it?  SubhanAllah, how many intricate layers to this epic called life, and how many things we overlook because of occupied hearts and minds…  May Allah make us those who see and reflect and understand. Ameen.