Road to Jannah

Ayah Aref, too political to be helped?

Ayah Aref on the 5th anniversary of her father’s arrest and detention by the gov’t.

Recently I was trying to publicize an event in our town to protest the injustices going on against Muslims. I described the Muslim response as pathetic and I received replies that people ‘were afraid’ or even that ‘there’s no need to be political in Islam, you can be just as good a Muslim without it’.

Now this is going to sound mean but for people who say that I wonder what they would say if tonight the FBI raids their house and arrests their father and drags him off to jail in the middle of the night, destroying their entire family. Gee it’s OK not to be political right. And then when they become social piranhas to the Muslim community, have no income, have psychological problems and are forced to beg for help from the same government that did this to them I wonder if they would have the same reply?

I really can’t understand where this apathy comes from in our community. It’s honestly disgusting to see. It’s like you watch a man being beat up in the street or a woman raped and you don’t do anything. You close your window and go back to watching American Idol.  Is this what it means to be Muslim? We only care when it happens to me?

What does the Qur’an say about this?

The Qur’an says: “We sent aforetime our messengers with clear Signs and sent down with them the Book and the Balance, that men may stand forth in Justice.” [Al-Hadeed 57:25].

“O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.” [An-Nisa 4:35]

How can we then sit back and say we are Muslims when we can’t even follow the Quran and stand up for OUR OWN, let alone any injustice to anyone else. When we know that sitting back and doing nothing when there is injustice and need is just not part of Islam. How many places does Islam exhort Muslims to fix the wrongs of society? To give to the poor, to stop taking usury, to look after orphans, to stand up to an unjust ruler, to not be prejudiced, to stop the ills of society, to spread a word of truth, to help those oppressed. All these goals are for social justice amongst ourselves. The Seerah of our Prophet(s) is rife with example after example of how the early Muslims stood up to every injustice and worked to change them.

Yet it seems that we do not care. Our Islam has been relegated to our heart. It’s my own personal faith and belief. No one has a right to “judge me”. Sure no one can judge you, but ask yourself what it means to be a Muslim. Is it all about just prayer and fasting or is there a reason why there is so much exhortation in the Qur’an to truth and justice?

Can a Muslim cut themself off from the entire world and other Muslims and believe it to be fine? Can a Muslim stand by and do nothing while injustice is occurring to others? What is the difference between Islam and other faiths where it is all about belief only? If you believe hard enough you’re saved and that’s all you have to do?

People who refuse to do anything, how can you believe that it is Islamic to act like that towards our Muslim brothers and sisters who are in such difficulties? How can we not want to prevent it happening to others? How can you expect anyone to help you? Do you expect God to help you, when you don’t help others? (after all it might be ‘too political’)?

Now I’m not asking people to run wild through the streets burning flags or whatever, which is usually what people like to think of as ‘political things’ so they have an excuse not to do anything.

Here are some simple things that every Muslim can do in their community.

• Read articles and news about the different injustices going on just to keep informed.
• Join the different groups or even just their mailing lists that are working on these things.
• Make food and send it to the wives and children.
• Forward and link to articles that talk about these injustices, making other ppl aware of them.
• Buy Eid presents for the kids.
• Volunteer to help Muslims in need in your professional capacity, ie as a lawyer, doctor, teacher or psychologist, etc.
• If in MSA, help organize seminars and lectures discussing these issues.
• Help the kids buy school supplies or other things they may need for their education.
• Write to the men in jail or send cards.
• Help donate money to the funds set up for the families which goes to pay for their rent and food and education.
• Follow orgs like the ACLU and CAIR when they send out action type items like writing or calling certain people to further a cause.
• Whenever you see the wives/kids smile and take some time to talk them.
• Attend the information sessions and seminars on these topics at local Mosques, MSAs or Law schools.
• Support others who are trying to support the wives and kids, ask what you can do to help them help.
• Buy new clothes for the kids or mothers and give it to them as gifts.
• Listen to independent radio stations and shows like Democracy Now and Independent Radio that expose these issues.
• Volunteer to take the kids to the park or somewhere special.
• Buy and read the books and autobiographies written by and about these men and the injustices going on.
• Attend events organized by ppl trying to fight injustices. If you don’t understand the goals or benefits of a particular thing (ie a rally or demonstration) ASK them.
• Help give rides to the kids to visit the doctor or dentist or to go to Islamic events.
• Learn more about each specific case and the legal dimensions involved and discuss with others.
• Visit the wive’s businesses and try to support them by buying.
• There are a thousand things we can all do within our own capacities.
• Make Dua for the men in jail and their families.

Now I am going to say the meanest thing I have ever said on my blog: If you personally have never done a single thing on this list or refuse do a single thing on this list, I’m going to ask you if you have a shred of mercy in your heart, and if you don’t have a shred of mercy I’m going to ask you how you think you are Muslim.

Are these things so hard? Why aren’t we doing them? Certainly there are at least one or two things we can do on this list or think up on our own that we could do. Will these things bring down the wrath of the FBI at our door? Very unlikely. Are these things so overtly political that we’ll be branded a ‘freedom fighter’ or worse. NO they’re not.

Even the pagan Quraish, sworn-enemies of Islam, secretly sent food and necessities to the Muslims OUT OF THEIR COMPASSION. Where is our compassion brothers and sisters? Where is our Islam? The Islam of justice for all of humanity, of caring, of uplifting, of ideas for a new and better way of life for the oppressed and downtrodden, of equality, of truth, of fighting evils in the world. Has it become lip-service? Ritualized faith? Are we living at the End-of-Times where we say La ilaha ilaAllah but we don’t even know what it means?

Can you look into Ayah Aref’s eyes and turn your back on her and say she has nothing to do with you?

You’re too busy with your own life right, too busy fasting and praying??? I’ve heard all the arguments and excuses for not doing anything. That people are scared, they don’t have time, they’re barely surviving, they have other priorities, blah blah blah. Frankly, they’re the same things Shaitan whispers to me to prevent me from doing a good deed. Why do we let Shaitan do that to us, instead of doing what’s right?

I know this is a mean blog and a personal one, and perhaps uncomfortable for some people. It’s not personal or directed at any one person. Do not get offended. I’m just a person with a blog after all. Your thoughts and actions are yours and you’ll be responsible on the Day of J. as will I. But I just want each of us to go back to the Qur’an and the teachings of Islam and really think about what it means to be a Muslim. I mean really think about it and then tell me if I’m wrong. Because if I am, I can go back to standing back and doing nothing too.

Wsalaam wrt.

P.S. The pictures from said event.

[Reader NOTES: Apologies to the people subscribed to my blog via RSS feeders like Greader (my favorite!). It should have full text on but for some reason some of the articles don't appear full text! I hate when I'm subscribed to a blog and can only read 2 lines and then have to click on the link to open it and wait 5 minutes for all their graphics and flickr pics or whatever widgets they have to load! So the trick to get full text in Greader is to first unsubscribe and then click on the subscribe button and manually enter: jannah.org/blog/feed that's it. Don't let it put /rss or anything else after it. Refresh if you have to. If you're subscribed to the right feed I think it should give you full text. So hopefully you'll be able to read all of this without clicking!

Apologies to IE readers. I never use IE, haven't ever I think ever since the dawn of browsers, so I never check it! But I just noticed one or two blogs were completely non-readable in IE and just said <end if> gee thanks for telling me So I fixed them now so hopefully everyone will be able to read everything regardless of browser!

Also for some reason the blog has been loading REALLY slow. I haven't been able to pinpoint what it is but it's something to do with the last WP upgrade and this theme, but I love it so I want to try to fix it so stay patient inshaAllah Lastly I added a new link called "List of All Posts by Category" which is a really nice listing of the blog entries by category. Check those out inshaAllah and I'm sure you'll find a lot of interesting topics and subjects.]

So onto blogging!

Go Back Home to Your Country!

This past week an interesting thing happened that brought up a subject I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time. That is the exodus of Muslims from the US back to their countries (or to other Muslim countries). The reason it came up is because a visiting shaykh to the area was asked a question about it and he encouraged all Muslims living in the US to go back to their home countries! He even went so far as to say that the only reasons Muslims were here in the West was for Dunya and ‘to make piles of money’ and that they would be asked about it on the Day of J!!! Now this was said in the richest suburban Masjid in our area where the people are all doctors or professionals and the cars are all BMWs and Mercedes (and I even saw some old uncle driving a really hot convertible to Jumah!) You can imagine the shock and the pin drop silence of everyone there. And then people started arguing saying that they are better Muslims here and that the world is a global village and that it’s not how it used to be with Islamic lands and non-Islamic lands, but he was adamant.

So what do we think about this? On the one hand I can see where the shaykh is coming from. I’m sure he gets tons of people that come up to him lamenting about their kids, how messed up they have become and how many have become non-Muslims. No doubt there are a lot of Muslims in the US that have no Islamicity whatsoever after their parents generation. Many even renounce Islam and marry non-Muslims and the children end up becoming non-Muslims. I read an article 10 years ago by Yahiyah Emerick that talked about how we were continuously losing our fist generation and the only reason Islam was surviving in the US was because of fresh immigrants that would ‘refill our stock’. I think if we all thought about it, for every Muslim we know that goes to a Mosque and really tries to raise their kids Islamically we know many more that have become non-practicing and will be completely lost after the next generation. How painful is it for us to learn about all these waves of Muslim immigrants who came to this country even in the 1920s or 1960s and there is barely a trace of them today except for a sign that might say Madina, Ohio. We only have to look to our youth today to see the extremely deterimental state we are in. Do we want the same thing to happen to us and our future generation?

So I always ask myself if these kids and their families would be better if they lived in a Muslim country? There are no doubt the same evils existing there as here and sometimes there is an even higher level of ‘dunya coveting’ and corruption, but the society as a whole tends to protect people from certain things and even if you have a bad apple or two in your children, your entire lineage is not lost because their children have a fairly good chance of being raised as Muslims by the societal culture. To find a girl converting to Christianity and marrying a non-Muslim is rare, but in the US it is sadly becoming common. Wearing hijab, praying 5 times a day, fasting every day in Ramadan is it rare or is it common in the West? And don’t forget statistics say the Mosque-going Muslims are 10% of the actual Muslim population in the US.

But does moving back make sense? What about those people who have no ties to any Muslim country, like white or African-American converts? What country are they supposed to go to? And speaking of which, what country are Muslims going to move to? Saudi has an extremely strict immigration policy as do Syria and most other Muslim countries. In fact there are groups of Muslims who try to ‘make Hijrah’ all the time and are living illegally in these countries. Even if you are legally there you do not have the same access to health care or education as the real Arab citizens do. You can’t even own property. Even if you somehow obtain a work visa and live in these countries, once your working life is over you will be sent back to your ‘original country’. There is no way single women or single mothers would be able to move overseas because the societies are just not built to accommodate them. This is coming from someone who lived overseas for a time on a temporary student basis and that was difficult in itself. And what about all of us who came from minority Muslim countries? (like India or Cambodia or wherever) Why would we just move back to another Muslim minority country? What’s the benefit there? So what should we do?

Some people argue that you can only be a true Muslim if you live in a Muslim country because only there can you practice all of your Deen. Oh really? Muslims in the West can pray, they can fast, they can pay zakat, they can go to Hajj. No doubt there are some discrimination issues there but it is possible. Is there such a thing as Dar al Islam and Dar al Harb anymore? No country in the world practices Islamic Shari’ah 100%. And every Arab country I know of is under a dictatorship. What can’t people practice here if they have the drive or effort in the West?

I think, for myself, having the experience of living in a Muslim country for awhile I can’t see myself moving overseas. I can’t see the Islamic argument for it and I wouldn’t be able to justify it for myself. That’s why when I see these great Muslim families moving overseas it just makes me really sad. They are like so valuable here for so many reasons but over there they could just be anyone. It’s just a big loss for the Muslim community here even if they feel it’s a better decision for themselves and their kids.

I know the New York Times and some other papers (Chicago?) did some articles on this, post 9/11 like in 2002 or something that talked about how there was mass migration back to home countries by Muslims and the affect it was having in certain Muslim type areas like Devon St. /Jackson Heights. But it wasn’t until about 2005 until now that I’ve been noticing a number of very well established good families moving back home. Many families who are here to study and work temporarily are going back home instead of staying like their counterprarts did in the 80s and 90s. If everyone goes back what will be left? If they stayed we could really build a strong identity, culture, foundation and institutions to allow us to be a viable thriving minority in this country.

Is the shaykh right and it’s every family for themselves. Save your family and forget about the rest? Going back to me just feels like the easy way out. When you go back what else do you have to do? Nothing. You raise your family like everyone else. You send them to school and you really don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to be active in the community. You don’t have to teach or do Dawah or anything. (In some of those Muslim countries doing Dawah can get you in a ton of trouble even!) The irony is that many families have gone overseas for the ‘economic benefit’ in these troubled times. (It’s easier for a US professional to find a job over there than here!) So what does this say about the Shaykhs argument about “dunya-lovers” ?!?

Anyway the whole thing is very complex if you ask me. I just thought I’d bring it up as a discussion topic to think about as it’s something I think about every time someone leaves or there’s a new shaykh in town that drops a hugely controversial opinion like this on ppl!!

I was all set to write a new blog on a certain topic, but then I received the following comment on a previous blog and thought responding to it would make an excellent blog post!!!

Here it is:

i read your blog (cant believe i did) but seriously some points are good while others are just opinions…next time try referencing from QURAN, what that says about how men and women should behave.. wow anyways your opinions are way too westernized… and it comes under the banner of “Islam of Convenience”

OK so first of all you “can’t believe you read the blog”.  I can’t believe you did either. Not sure what that means. If you didn’t want to read it, you shouldn’t have. Next time do me and yourself the favor of not reading something you obviously have issues with.

As for the blog, this whole blog is an OPINION. I don’t know if you didn’t realize this but:

Main Entry: blog

Pronunciation: \‘blohg, \bläg\

Function: noun

Etymology: short for Weblog

Date: 1999:

a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer ; also : the contents of such a site

About referencing the Quran, you’ll notice that throughout all my posts I will mention points of Islamic reference.  These are not Islamic articles where I’m going to quote Quran and Hadith chapter and verse, although I very well could and I HAVE written many such articles. But my point with the blog is to write about everyday contemporary, maybe controversial topics that affect the average Muslim and myself from an Islamic perspective. Including things about Islam and making Islamic points without using the Khutbah style. Sometimes with all the Quran verse 3: surah 4: Hadith Bukhari #2893 the message can get lost. Do people really want to be reading Quran and Hadith every other sentence in a blog and then debate about the authenticity and tafseer and chapter and verse? I’m sure some do and that’s why we have polemic blogs and forums and websites spreading dogma and debate over issues none of those people are qualified to debate.

Not sure why I’m explaining my Dawah method to you but since you asked there it is! Interestingly, there is one blog here that talks about a scene in a movie and the entire blog is actually a condensed version of a discourse by Ibn al Qayyim given by a scholar. Now I could certainly have written Ibn al Qayyim said …kazza wa kazza and listed the Quran and Hadith but it certainly wouldn’t reach as many people as bringing out the points in a way people can understand.

[I also tried this experiment where I wrote an Islamic article that had a lot of detailed Arabic fiqhi technical terms and many references; then I rewrote it completely in English translating things like tazkiyah to purification and salah to prayer and tawbah to repentance. What a difference! I guarantee you there would be people out there who would read the second article and call it 'Bid'ah' or some such thing!!]

Anyway since you talked about opinions, it seems your opinion is that the best Dawah method is through listing verses of the Quran, but this certainly isn’t mine. Yes certain things are my opinion and are clearly stated as such. If you want to read an article about Gender Relations in the Quran you should open up the Quran. Or if you want scholarly fatwas on a particular subject you should go to your local Imam so that he can find out your exact circumstances and conditions and give a ruling.

Lastly you talked about how “westernized” my opinions were and implied that I must be practicing an “Islam of Convenience”. I can understand how people overseas think that. They’ve just never seen Islam except in the way they practice it (or are told to practice it). Anything else is wrong, even though many times they are confusing their own opinions and culture with Islam, just as they accuse us “Westernized Muslims” of doing so. As for those Muslims that live in the West and think Muslims are too “westernized”; I believe what they are really saying is, “My interpretation and way of practicing Islam is the right one and everyone else’s is wrong” (despite even scholars and fiqh that says it’s Islamically OK). This is just a poor and uneducated way of accusing someone of doing something wrong. And to that I would say why don’t you just come out and discuss the issue with a real scholar instead of going around calling people “westernized”. Why do you think your opinion is not “westernized”?

I’ll leave my defence of my “Islam of Convenience” at that. I don’t know you and you certainly don’t know me, but I will say that 99% of the time someone calls me not a good Muslim or practicing an “Islam of Convenience” (or worse names) is because they don’t like what I’ve written because they know it’s right

Take care and thanks for the material for this blog post!!

Muslim orgs today.

A number of years ago while I was studying in Damascus, I applied for a deen intensive program that was to be held in Makkah/Madinah. I was tipped off by a friend in a high place that registration would be opening within the next day or so. So before and after classes I went to the internet cafe (there wasn’t any internet at home in Syria at the time) and checked online. The next day after school, the application was up and I spent an hour or two, or three filling it out and even went home and wrote some more stuff out on my flash drive before going back to the cafe to submit it.

I added some things I had pre-written which included an ‘autobiography’ and ‘thoughts on Islam’ and some longer essays I had written before. The application was long and thorough and I spent time filling everything out carefully and really tried to add any Islamic activities, courses, study abroad, classes, learning, shaykhs, references, organizations, everything I could think of that could help me get in. I would say I submitted it at about 5 or 6 AM US time after registration had opened at 12 AM. Over the next few weeks the program and registration was advertised and I heard from many friends who applied as well.

About 2 weeks after I submitted the application I received a polite email that I was rejected, but no reason or explanation. D’oh! You could imagine my consternation. What did I do wrong? Was I too old? Was I too young? Did I not study with shaykhs they liked? But I had studied with some of them! Did I not have any Islamic experience or did I have too much? Was I not active enough or too active? I just didn’t get it. Especially when a number of people I knew and even people in my own community were accepted months after. And I mean MONTHS! Later, a few people (again in those high places) told me that I didn’t know the ‘right’ people and I hadn’t been to the ‘right’ programs.

Last year when I attended a wedding I met a sister who was very friendly and we chatted about various Islamic activities going on in her area. I then mentioned a shaykh that I studied with and her reaction was absolutely priceless. “Him! Oh we don’t do that, we’re ____” After that, cold shoulder, she just visibly ignored us the rest of the 3 days of wedding activities. I was shocked, and am kind of still shocked that any debates over shaykhs or groups would come down to such a level where it influences personal interactions.

Over the last few years we have seen a number of organizations established by various shaykhs and groups. We have Zaytuna, Al-Maghrib, Sunnipath, Aalim, ZamZam, Nawawi, MAS, SeekersGuidance, Fawakeh, Zawiyah, Bayinnah, Sunniforum, Texasdawah, Mecca, Al Madina, etc. etc. etc. Their purpose was and is noble. They want to organize and teach Islam. I don’t discount the good work they have done and how they have changed and revitalized the knowledge scene in North America. I also don’t begrudge the formulation or ‘professionalization’ if you will of these organizations because I do believe Muslims should start paying their scholars and for knowledge in order for these to develop. But what I’m talking about are the side effects of these organizations. At times, it’s just unbelievable.

The amount of vitriolic debate across Islamic forums, blogs, in speeches, in communities is appalling. This shaykh said this and that one said this in response. This organization did this and that one did that. Oh I’m a part of thisgroup, I don’t go to thatgroup. I mean, it gets much uglier than that with words like “kaffir” and “aqeedah” and “islam” and “truth” thrown around, along with specific quotes and incidents. Some shaykhs advocate not attending other’s lectures and classes “in case they get messed up by them”. Some downright declare other teachers/teachings to be heretical. A shaykh who decides to teach at another camp (ie Suhaib Webb) is immediately declared to be a traitor. If you attend a certain group’s classes and courses, you are part of that crowd and enjoy it’s exclusive benefits like getting into certain exclusive programs or forum or mailing list. If you don’t, you’re locked out.

At one point I believed that all the debating and fighting was perpetuated by ignorant, zealous students only, but I know now that’s not true. Each of these organizations has their own agenda and “aqeedah” so to speak and by that virtue even its leadership is involved in perpetuating this fracturing of Islam in North America.

They certainly have done nothing to stop it. I don’t know how you guys feel, but I’m truly just sickened by it all. Ten years ago, Farid Munir likened ISNA – as an umbrella organization, to a mall. In the mall there were a ton of stores and anyone could choose to go into any store. And Thank God it was like this, because the day ISNA decided which stores were right and wrong and which would be closed, God help us. Well here is that day. Each organization has now decided to open up their own store, has set up its own times of business and customers, what to sell and sent out its sales fliers to its exclusive customers. If you are one of those people that are part of the club you are quite happy I’m sure. But what is happening to the bigger picture, Islam & Muslims!! What about those people who don’t want to be part of your club? What about those people who do want to be? What about those who want to benefit but don’t want to join you?

If the groups could just go back to being ’simply ways to organize’ or if the leaders of these groups would actively try to teach and institute policies to eradicate exclusivity it would help. But what shaykh or group is going to say, ‘Go get your knowledge from anywhere, go to any program , we don’t mind’. The whole reason they were organized in the first place was to do things and teach things in the way they feel is important. But now in order for the group to survive, it must retain its supporters. The group by virtue of being a group, must inherently form mechanisms to perpetuate itself. Thus, the problem is so inherent that nothing short of dissolving all these organizations would actually solve it. But how can we then build institutions and organizations without groups? Physically, financially, organizationally we need them to progress.

The only alternative I see, is for us, we the people, who are part of these organizations, who attend these programs, who apply to them, is to protest. And by protest I mean to stop engaging in the politicking, the argumentation, the this-group-versus-that-group mentality, the my shaykh vs. your shaykh debate, and to advocate for transparency and non-exclusivity. Who makes up these organizations, who attends them? We do. We need to stop “being the problem we seek to change.” Let’s stop being exclusive and country club like and start standardizing some fairness policies. Let’s break the cult of personalities by seeking knowledge for the sake of seeking knowledge, not based on who teaches it or where. Why do we attend only certain programs? Who cares if this shaykh isn’t in your camp, can you not benefit from him? Why do we travel thousands of miles to go to something when there is that brother at the local corner mosque who has been teaching this subject for the last 10 years, when that local sister who knows Tajweed has no students? We need, sigh hate to say this in a recession , but what we need, is to start shopping freely at the mall again!

ps i just realized i’ll probably now be blackballed from every north american organization, but please just take this as naseeha for the future. check yo’self b4 u wreck yo’self as my students say.

Dear blog,

Somehow real people found out about this blog and are now reading it! Ack I’ll have to think of a really scary topic to scare them away. So today, I’m going write about the ugliness of our souls….. still there? *tumbleweed* At least my mom is still reading…ma? maaaaa?!

Ok well anyways blog the other day I was watching this Bollywood horror movie (Yes i know that’s an oxymoron, but I was sick! Don’t I get any type of recreation time after Ulteying a few times?) It was about 3am and I was alone in my room in the dark so that probably made it more effective. The film actually had a semi-decent plot of this beautiful model (c’mon who else!!) who strange things start happening to. This scary looking guy keeps stalking her and one day when someone/thing attacks her he actually saves her. Turns out he’s this artist guy who keeps dreaming about this girl and keeps seeing horrible scenes of her future which he then paints, a la season 1 Heroes. So he is there to warn her, etc etc.

So there’s this one scene where she’s in the bathroom attacked by someone/thing trying to drag her underwater to drown her and she fights him/it off and then looks at the water in the tub and it’s all red. Then when she looks again it’s clear and normal and the candles are still burning and everything’s fine. She thinks maybe she just dreamt it all so she goes to the sink and washes her face with cold water. She takes a deep breath and just looks in the mirror at herself probably calling herself an idiot for believing the artist guy. Then she drops something and bends down to pick it up. For a *split second* as she bends down, THE MIRROR ABOVE THE SINK DOESN’T CHANGE! Then the camera immediately cuts down to her picking whatever up. Then even before we the audience are like ‘did we see? AHHHHHHH’…she stands back up and is looking in the mirror again but then she realizes her in the mirror is not her! It’s like an evil mirror image of her with consciousness that came to life looking back at her! They look at each other for a few seconds before she screams and the evil her just looks back at her. Seriously, it’s a really freaky scene and they filmed it really well to make even us the audience doubt what we were seeing.

And then I started thinking about it, it was so scary because it was her, but she was someone else in the mirror looking back at herself. How scary would it be if we were looking at ourselves in the mirror and all of a sudden the picture changed and it was an evil us looking back at us?

Yet everyday we look at ourselves in the mirror and ignore all our bad and evil characteristics. All our jealousy, anger, hatred, evil-thoughts. Do we not all have an evil side that is always struggling to come out? Have we not done mean, selfish things when we were given a choice? What about that time you never stopped to pick up that guy on that really cold day because you were late for Jumah? What about that time you really hated that girl because she was so pretty? What about that time when you were asked for charity and you thought oh, I might need this later? Truly, when you start thinking about these things, like me, just like that girl, you’ll never want to look in the mirror again.

Still, one Day we will have to look at that mirror so what can we do?

One of the most important lessons that I took away from Sh. Mokhtar’s Hajj seminar was about how we should be at Arafat. When you go, he told us, just be yourself. ACKNOWLEDGE yourself. Allah already knows all your deeds, your past, your future, your good, your evil. He doesn’t need any pretend goodness, play-acting or anyone else. On that wide plain of Arafat with those millions of people you just need to come there and acknowledge all your sins, acknowledge all you are, repent and ask God in sincerity for His forgiveness. Just empty your heart and show your real self.

How beautiful.

Why don’t we do that, in our daily life? Why don’t we acknowledge what we are, understand our own failings and realize the mistakes we have made. I know I for one have a hard time acknowledging my ‘evil side’ but I know it’s there. If I can just accept that and work on it, even if it’s there on the inside I know I’m being true to myself. Perhaps I can meld my two halves and one day come to look in the mirror and even smile.