Road to Jannah » poetry

Protected: 4 a.m.

jannah — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:24:54 +0000

Standing on the Edge of Broken Dreams

jannah — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:03:51 +0000

Standing on the Edge of Broken Dreams

I’m standing at a precipice,
at the very edge.
The land I thought beneath me
turning to loose stone.
The wind battling against
my very soul.

Fear carves my insides like
vicious knives.
Nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide.

Dreams long flown away
like the big black crows
with nests below.

Leaving me here.

Why am I not allowed,
O You who control my fate,
to change my destiny,
and return again?

Can You not fight every force
in the universe against me?
Can You not change every
circumstance around me?

O that I realized the lie before.

That this earth, sky, and rose
were a mocking illusion.
That the frozen rain, thorns and
carrion that eat one’s flesh
after too short a time were
all too real.

My heart calms.
Soon this night of the broken-hearted
will end.
Soon it will mean nothing at all.

No tears now.
No fear.

Protected: How can I describe him

jannah — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:11:25 +0000

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Days of Sadness

jannah — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:01:34 +0000

There are sad days, and

There are days that pierce your soul.

You remember every moment of that day.

You remember minute details of what you wore,

You remember the exact temperature,

You remember how the grass smelled, and

How the rain fell.

~

You remember in slow motion

That first moment of when you knew.

Imprinted in your mind forever.

When the sky fell in and complete disbelief, and

Confusion reigned.

~

Then you saw the proof, and

You still could not understand.

The questions followed, and

Then the blame.

If only I had done this,

If only I had done that,

If only one minute of time had been shifted,

What might have been.

~

Then the knowing,

Knowing,

Knowing.

And you can’t change anything.

Then grief.

Streams and rivers of grief.

Flowing freely,

Perhaps never ending.

Perhaps one day narrowing to a trickle

Or a sweet lake, so still,

But always there.

In your mind.

~

Sometimes the lake overflows and becomes a flood, and

You push it back even though your heart breaks.

Sometimes you don’t.

You just stand there and let it flow over you, and

Become one with your sadness.

Sometimes you stand there in anger, and

You dare the waves to come.

Angry at God, at destiny, at fortune, at circumstance.

But how can you be angry?

~

Then at last there are no tears left, and

You can only sit on the shore,

Tired, drained, given up.

Accepting.

Remembering.

With sorrow, and

Regret.

Not written for 9/11 but mood seems appropriate to post it today.

Why?

jannah — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:01:32 +0000

Why

Why
Do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
Why do my tears not reach
Thine Honourable Door?
Why must I gaze
At this endless desert
And wish that I could be again
In Thy Favour?

O Beloved Oasis once
– Gone now.
All that is left,
This sad mirage
Of empty sand.

I feel abandoned and small
Cut off from the Blessed.
O Lord! Overlook my mistakes
Forgive O Most Forgiving!

Why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
I am so far from Peace.
I yearn in thirst,
– The caravan so far ahead.

But why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
I dream of succour
Of water clear and pure.
I dream of end
Of closeness, of being Near.
I dream of promise,
Soft breezes and no fear.

Yet,
Why do my prayers not pierce the Heavens?
O Most Merciful of Merciful!
The journey is long
And I am tired now.

As I travel the expanse
Towards the distant sea,
Will ye not answer
This lone supplicant
As to why
My prayers do not reach thee?