I really couldn’t think of what to post today… sometimes I think no one reads the blog and then someone says Hey I read your blog@! and I’m like !!! and ?

So any suggestions for topics to write about???

Yayyyy Eid is almost here and as usual the conversation goes something like this:

me: wat are you doing for Eid?
friend: I dunno, what are you doing?
me: I dunno, nothin.
friend: me too. let’s do something.
me: Ok, What do u wanna do?
friend: I dunno, what do u wanna do?
me: I dunno, what is there to do?
…. etc!!!

And there’s no doubt Eid gets extremely lonely for converts and single ppl So here are some suggestions on things ppl can do:

1. Definitely take the day off from work and school! Otherwise it will feel just like another day. Also, dress up!!

2. Find some recent converts in the community and invite them over for lunch (or eat out somewhere).

3. Look for some not so well-off families in the community (kids whose father’s are in jail,etc), buy some presents for the kids, wrap them and bring them over to their house on Eid day!

4. Spend some time baking some yummies and bring them with you to the Mosque on Eid or the night before to share.

5. Have an Eid party at your house. Invite friends to come back to your place after the Eid prayer for lunch.

5. Go shopping and spend some Eidi!

7. Go to the movies?

8. Do some things that *you* really like to do! Like just for yourself. ie read a nice book, take a bubblebath, laze around the house, go for a walk, go to the park.

9. Help organize a community Eid dinner or kid’s Eid party in your community!

10. If all else fails…Go somewhere else for Eid. Go visit friends or family in a different city to make Eid more exciting

Happy planning and an early Eid Mubarak to all

So when I first started working I gained weight because hey you’re sitting at a desk the whole day and u have a corporate credit card paying for all your meals. Man those were the days.. Yum. Well since then I’ve been trying to lose some weight and have found some good methods. My only problem is that whenever I get in a depressive mood I just think ‘ok whatever no one cares what i look like’ and just eat everything for a week! But for the most part, it’s stayed off and when I do want to lose weight it works.. So here they are…

Weight Loss tips

1. First you need to make yourself have a deep desire/burning motivation to lose weight. Look at all the fat pictures of yourself. Look at all those magazines with size negative 0 models in pretty dresses. Watch Indian movie videos of skinny girls dancing. Whatever. You just need to make sure you’re not wishy-washy about it otherwise it won’t work!! OK, so you really want to lose weight and you’re sure about it?….

2. You have to eat a good breakfast. Like a good bowl of cereal, oatmeal or toast. This is really important because it makes you less hungry during the day and balances your nutrition off. Some ppl go to the extent of saying you can eat whatever you want at breakfast because you end up burning it off during the day that’s how important it is.

3. If you’re like me, you just need to munch when you’re doing stuff…like watching a movie – potato chips are a must. Doing stuff on the computer, drinking soda is a must. So instead: Start eating healthy snacks. This is good for when you’re hungry between meals too. Healthy snacks means under 100 calories and low fat. Examples… some crackers and a hungry cow wedge, sliced apple, a bowl of dry cheerios, apple sauce, a small yogurt, a nectarine, some cherry tomatoes, watermelon, baby carrots, etc.

4. No soda. Yeah it hurts at first but you can do it. When ppl drink soda your body thinks it’s drinking water! It doesn’t know you’re drinking fat so it never works to burn it off! Not to mention all the unhealthy aspects of it ie aspartame, losing calcium for ur bones, teeth problems. It also makes you want to eat more sweets. Avoid even juice because it’s almost all sugar. Drink only water when ur thirsty. In fact, drink lots of water all the time. A lot of times we want to eat something but it’s only that we’re thirsty. If you really want something to warm you up some green tea (no sugar) is nice too.

5. Cut down rice and bread. Yeah sux. But we eat wayyyyyyyy too much white rice and bread. Yes, you could go whole wheat and brown rice but just cutting down is easier and helps alot.

6. The typical picture of someone dieting is someone eating gross salad day after day. That totally put me off dieting for ages. But what we need to do is figure out what kinds of ‘healthy vegetables’ we like. You don’t need everything. Maybe for a lunch salad you like carrots and cucumbers one day, spinach and tomatos another. Stay away from dressing unless it’s like olive oil or extreme fat free vinaigrettes cuz ranch or whatever is the same as eating a hamburger sometimes!

7. No chips. No cookies. No cake. No donuts. No desserts. NONE. That’s right you’re on a DIET to lose weight. You just can’t eat this stuff, not even a little bit of it.

8. Find a “one indulgence” that you can use to reward yourself for exercise or doing well with ur diet…ie 2 squares of chocolate, a biscotti, tiny bowl of low fat vanilla ice cream. This is a reward only.

9. For dinner, try finding some soups, salads, fish… or if you have chicken or something eat only an extremely small portion. After dinner stop eating. If you’re hungry after dinner eat only fruit.

10. Fast at least one day a week. This is not to lose weight, bc as we know fasting does not help you lose weight! But fast for discipline and more energy and with the intention of becoming more of a zahid in all aspects of your life.

11. Don’t eat out. Yeah this is hard if you have a lot of friends that love to go out and eat as part of fun. And it is fun. But everything on those menus is pure fat. I mean they’re even fighting to keep trans-fat! There’s so much hidden stuff you don’t know about. Sometimes ppl order a meal not realizing it’s 3000+ calories! or a dessert (1200 calories)!! You’d really be shocked. If you’re absolutely going out, get that book ‘what not to eat’ and check the restaurant you’re going to and try to find the least damaging thing.

12. Read those nutrition books. Go to the library or buy one. They really educate you on how your body works and what foods are full of fat, what’s a healthy snack and so on. I really learned a lot by reading just one book that changed how I think about food.

13. Take vitamins. I’m not sure how this works, but vitamins seem to stop me having cravings for stuff. You know how pregnant mothers have cravings and ppl say it’s because the baby needs some kind of nutrition or something. I think it works like that. Take vitamins so you don’t have so many and also so you can’ t say ‘omg i’m starving myself,  i have to eat (that cupcake) to be healthy!’ Don’t worry ur getting everything you “need”! I used to get nauseous eating vitamins not sure why but I switched to 1/2 a children’s one a day and that seems to work well.

14. Strangely, I found that de-cluttering all your stuff really helps somehow. Maybe because you feel more organized or cleaner, but it just does something, so get to work!!

15. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, you have to exercise. Otherwise 1 to 14 does nothing. Seriously it just won’t work. 1/2 hour of *some* type of physical activity every day is what’s needed. Like walking on a treadmill, cleaning, gardening, vacuuming… something, anything active. You don’t have to do the same thing every day, but it has to be something other than sitting on your chair surfing the web (what i do everyday:P).

Well there you have it, your start to long-term weight loss and lifestyle change inshaAllah. Hope those help

Keys to Happiness

Happiness is the only goal on earth that all people without exception are seeking to attain. Believers and unbelievers alike seek to be happy, but each party is using different methods. However, only believers can achieve genuine happiness, and all forms of happiness attained through other than belief in Allah the Almighty are mere illusions.The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him ) is reported to have said ,”How amazing is the affair of the believer. Everything is good for him – and that is for no one but the believer: If good times come his way, he is thankful and that is good for him, and if hardship comes his way, he is patient and that is good for him.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

The following are tips for the attainment of happiness as offered by Sheikh `A’id Al-Qarni:

1. Know that if you do not live within the scope of today, your thoughts will be scattered, your affairs will become confused, and your anxiety will increase. These realities are explained in the following hadith:

“When you are in the evening, do not expect to see the morning, and when you are in the morning, do not expect to see the evening.”(Al- Bukhari)

2. Forget the past and all that it contained. Being absorbed in things that are past and gone is sheer lunacy.

3. Do not be preoccupied with the future because the future is in the world of the Unseen; do not let it bother you until it comes.

4. Do not be shaken by criticism; instead, be firm. Be sure that in proportion to your worth, the level of people’s criticism rises. Also, make good use of criticism in discovering your shortcomings and faults, and let it drive you toward self-improvement.

5. Have certain faith in Allah the Almighty and perform good deeds; these are the ingredients that makeup a good and happy life.

6. If you desire peace, tranquility, and comfort, you can find it all in the remembrance of Allah the Almighty.

7. You should know with certainty that everything that happens occurs in accordance with divine decree.

8. Do not expect gratitude from anyone.

9. Train yourself to be prepared for the worst eventuality.

10. Perhaps what has happened is in your best interest, even though you may not comprehend how that can be so.

11. Everything that is decreed for the believer is best for him.

12. Enumerate the blessings of Allah the Almighty and be thankful for them.

13. You are better off than many others.

14. Relief comes from one hour to the next. Indeed, with each difficulty there is relief.

15. In both times of hardship and ease, one should turn to supplication and prayer, either patiently contented or thankful.

16. Calamities should strengthen your heart and reshape your outlook in a positive way.

17. Do not let trivialities be the cause of your destruction.

18. Always remember that your Lord is Oft-Forgiving.

19. Assume an easy-going attitude and avoid anger.

20. Life is bread, water, and shade; so do not be perturbed by a lack of any other material thing.

(And in the heaven is your providence and that which you are promised.) (Adh-Dhariyat 51: 22)

21. Most evil that is supposed to happen never occurs.

22. Look at those who have more afflictions and be grateful that you have less.

23. Bear in mind the fact that Allah the Almighty loves those who endure trials with steadfastness, so seek to be one of them.

24. Constantly repeat those supplications that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us to say during times of hardship.

25. Work hard at something that is productive, and cast off idleness.

26. Do not spread rumors and do not listen to them. If you hear a rumor inadvertently, do not believe it.

27. Know that your malice and your striving to seek revenge are much more harmful to your health than they are to your antagonist.

28. The hardships that befall you atone for your sins, if you show patience.
*
This article has been taken with some modifications from the author’s book “Do Not Be Sad”.
By Sheikh `A’id Abdullah Al-Qarni.

WHY You Need to be Safe on Facebook

aka Who is using your data

.

I originally thought about writing a post on how to change your Facebook settings to make things more private, but I think the real problem here is that people don’t understand WHY. (Also Facebook, clever as they are, change their privacy settings every week!) We are all used to emails and surfing the web and don’t see how Facebook or any other social network is any different. But it is different. HUGELY different. Social networking is a whole new world and with this world comes a lot of problems and issues. So why do we need to be careful? Why can’t we continue to believe Facebook is our own little lala world? Read on to see who’s using your data and how…

1. The FBI and law enforcement agencies – No kidding, last week new documents were finally released by court order that detail how government agencies do this. They create fake IDs on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, LinkedIn and anywhere else we are. They can even “friend” you using these fake accounts (although they are told they are “not allowed to lie”). They use this information to develop profiles on your habits, the organizations you’re into, your friends. They can even use whatever you post as evidence against you and have done so in court. Tweets can be alibis for or against you, pictures can as well. Even the IRS is using it to find and inviestigate people. Read more:

FBI’s Facebook status: snooping, checking pictures

2. Potential employers – I think I read a survey not long ago that said 9/10 potential employers use the web to do research on future employees. It’s so common but still people continue to put up crazy things, thinking no one but their friends is going to see it!

For Some, Online Persona Undermines a Resume

3. Current employers – If you think it was only potential employers you had to worry about, think again. Many companies now monitor who says what to make sure it doesn’t damage their company. They also can see if you are not really “sick” at home and what you are saying about your co-workers and boss! Many companies also monitor how much their employees use Facebook. Check out this article:

How To Monitor Your Employees’ Facebook Use

4. Paedophiles & sex offenders – The article I posted a few weeks ago on how a peadophile friended 17 year old Ashleigh only to rape, kill and dump her body in a field is chilling. Paedophiles actively trawl these social networks where young girls frequent. A recent report said 1 out of 10 sex offenders are using the web to “meet people”. Read more on how easy it is for a paedophile to lure a victim on Facebook:

Ashleigh Hall, 17, was killed by a rapist who groomed her online.

5. Potential rishtas – Perhaps not as serious as the others (unless you’re single and looking to get married!) More and more people are typing names into google and facebook and finding all kinds of information on a prospective spouse. While of course this is useful for us to find out more about the other person, like seeing pictures of the person drinking and clubbing. (HAS happenned!), a lot of false assumptions can be made. Putting up any type of shady pictures or even innocent one’s, know that your future spouse will possibly examine them and judge you by them. This is a funny spoof article on the subject:

Facebook Profile Ruins Marriage Proposal

6. Advertising companies – Facebook of course uses your information as a base for their ads that appear on your popups. Your personal information is used. So if you’re a fan of suchandsuch thing you will get an ad related to that. Even worse is when they use your pictures and information to advertise to your friends! Or their lovely Beacon program last year that advertised your preferences and things you bought to your friends. But the future is even scarier. Facebook is looking to expand their advertising revenue and partnerships with other companies. In a few months (even now) they are rolling out new partnerships with other websites that will automatically Facebook Connect your data. So you don’t even have to be logged onto Facebook, you just go visit another site and they will connect all your data and “personalize your experience” there. Read more on the future:

Facebook planning to give away your data to partners

7. Whatever you put up they own – Facebook has continued to be extremely vague about ownership of what you put up. Who owns your pictures? Do they or do you? You’ll be surprised to know that it still isn’t clear. A year ago, people realized that Facebook’s terms of service (TOS) said that Facebook owned their content… FOREVER. Owned everything you put up and even if you delete them kept ownership of them in the archive they have. That caused a massive brewhaha that resulted in some changes in Facebooks TOS but still. See more:
Facebook’s New Terms Of Service:

“We Can Do Anything We Want With Your Content. Forever.”

8. Whatever you put up is there forever – Life changes and so do we. But whatever we put up on the internet is there forever. I think we should coin a new phrase ‘life changes, but data is forever’. Some people think if they delete something that means it’s gone. Think again my friend!! Once something is on the internet it is stored and cached and archived. That means Facebook has an archive of even things you’ve deleted. That means google cache keeps a copy of your previous incarnations of your profile. There are even bots that go aroudn on twitter and collect all tweets and this or that and store them… forever. Want to permanently delete your account? Not as easy as you think either:

How to permanently delete your Facebook account

9. Burglars - This is kind of funny. Burglars actually are using social networking to find out when people are not at home. There’s even a site that used to highlight this by posting twitter messages by people who posted their location/vacation/home addresses: PleaseRobMe.com. I guess people got mad and they stopped but it proved their point. Read more:

Facebook and Twitter users ‘could be targeted by burglars’

10. Identify thieves - There are actually three different settings you need to check on Facebook to make your birthdate not visible to others. A birthdate and a name is all some need to access all kinds of information, including your credit card!

18-to 24-year-olds most at risk for ID theft, survey finds

11. Stalkers – I don’t think I need to elaborate on this. Everyone who is online should be aware of this by now!!

I hope you can see that not all is well in lala land. Facebook isn’t your private island. It is a very public open never-ending-highway shady reststop. Anyone could be there, anyone could overhear, anyone could be lurking, stalking.

In the end:
–Keep privacy settings the highest you can.
–Be careful what you put up. Know that possibly anyone can see it and it could be there forever.
–Monitor who can see what always and check it every few months (because they do change and reset it without telling you!)
–Don’t friend people you don’t know are real ppl.

OK then, scared like crazy? You’ve realized Facebook and other social networks are not like your email? You’ll start to be careful now? Yay, my job is done here. Over and out