There are sad days, and
There are days that pierce your soul.
You remember every moment of that day.
You remember minute details of what you wore,
You remember the exact temperature,
You remember how the grass smelled, and
How the rain fell.
You remember in slow motion
That first moment of when you knew.
Imprinted in your mind forever.
When the sky fell in and complete disbelief, and
Then you saw the proof, and
You still could not understand.
The questions followed, and
Then the blame.
If only I had done this,
If only I had done that,
If only one minute of time had been shifted,
What might have been.
Then the knowing,
And you can’t change anything.
Streams and rivers of grief.
Perhaps never ending.
Perhaps one day narrowing to a trickle
Or a sweet lake, so still,
But always there.
In your mind.
Sometimes the lake overflows and becomes a flood, and
You push it back even though your heart breaks.
Sometimes you don’t.
You just stand there and let it flow over you, and
Become one with your sadness.
Sometimes you stand there in anger, and
You dare the waves to come.
Angry at God, at destiny, at fortune, at circumstance.
But how can you be angry?
Then at last there are no tears left, and
You can only sit on the shore,
Tired, drained, given up.
With sorrow, and
Not written for 9/11 but mood seems appropriate to post it today.