Retarted Behaviors and the ‘Happy Ending’ by Adilah AM
This past week I found out a friend recently got divorced (it turns out her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive) but what disturbed me the most is that she is currently in a new relationship. Unfortunately this type of relationship hopping is something that I see a lot of girls do and I have never understood it? Yea I guess on a superficial level I understand that some girls need men or need to be in a relationship to feel secure about themselves, that still leaves me wondering why? Why does scoiety aka friends and family, determine a girl’s worth based on whether she’s had a successful male relationship- whether “she’s got a man”? Granted there are a lot of guys who girl hop, marriage hop, divorce hop, etc… But a man could go 5 years (if not longer) and not have anyone bother him about marriage.
I believe that all serious relationships needs some sort of reflecting/ healing period. You can’t tell me that starting a new relationship 3 weeks after a divorce or even a month after an 8 month relationship is normal and especially if you were emotionally attached to the person….feelings don’t die overnight. Maybe part of the reason why these women jump from relationship to relationship is the pressure society places on marriage, love, sex and the “Happy ending”. I can’t tell you how many people a month are like “How are you? …. Don’t worry you’ll get married soon” or (from non-Muslims) “So you can’t have sex till after marriage…..How does that work?” Admittedly I’m a bit jealous of guys, again they can be freakin’ 32 and nobody’s bothering them about marriage.
Another attitude I hate a lot is this notion that your life doesn’t start till after married. “You bought a house?…You’re not married! ….You’re gonna adopt? Don’t you need a husband for that?” (If Angelina Jolie and Madonna can have a billion kids from Africa so can I) “You’re gonna study abroad? …What about marriage?” “Only bad girls stay out late at night ….nobody will marry you if you have a bad reputation!” and don’t get me started on the retarded importance Muslims place on “reputation”.
Somebody recently remarked “I’m sick of all these songs where the man is singing about how great it is that women are taking care of themselves, it’s sad that men can’t take care of their women”. Since when is a woman providing for herself a bad thing? It reminds me of that Beyonce song “The shoes on my feet – I bought it, the house I live in – I bought it” damn straight! And where did men get the retarded notion (that I dare to say a majority Muslim men hold) that a woman who earns more than their man, who has more education than their spouse is a threat?
Recently I was reading a forum that was discussing this very topic and some guy said “If my wife was a doctor, I’d feel competition with her even if she was totally chill about it. I’d feel emasculated if she made more than me or even just as much as me.” That mentality just boggles my mind, why does manhood have to be defined by how much money you make? Yes the husband is supposed to be able to take care of his wife, but that does not mean that he has to make more than his wife. Manhood should not be defined by retarded things like how much money you make, but rather how well you treat people around you. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying rich husbands aren’t great, I’m just saying that for a man to be able to buy his girl a huge diamond ring, or a nice furnished house doesn’t prove you’re a man. All it proves is that you have money ( and maybe good taste), If your woman is able to buy you a Lamborghini or the Knicks doesn’t make her any less of woman or you any less of a man.
So in conclusion, society aka family, friends, random guy stalkers… need to shut up about marriage, love, sex, and weddings. If I wanna buy my own house – whats it to you? If I don’t want to get married – whats it to you? If I wanna adopt my own kids – whats it to you? If I wanna try every dessert in the world and gain 50 pounds I’m going to….and it’s gonna be fun and I will enjoy it.
(Go Adi! Guess she told you guys…:) What do u think of her thoughts??)
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