Aug 14, 2009 - marriage stuff    13 Comments

A brother responds with his own top 10!

This is a response to my recent post called ‘Top 10 reasons why being a Muslim single sucks’ sent to us by an Anonymous bro. Thanks for getting us to see the other side :D

Muslim Sheep Singles

Muslim Sheep Singles

Top 20 reasons why being a Muslim single is nice:

1.  You have no responsibilities towards a spouse.

2.  No resp. towards kids.

3.  You can come and go as you please without asking someone or conferring with someone.

4.  It’s cheaper.

5.  You can have nicer things that won’t get broken by a spouse or kids.

6.  You can afford to go on nice vacations if you spend wisely.

7.  You can spend time in the Masjid, go all day and night.

8.  You can afford Hajj more easily.

9.  You don’t have to worry about someone constantly.

10.  You can further your education.

11.  You can memorize more Quran because you have more time.

12.  You can go to more Islamic lectures because you have more time.

13.  You don’t have to deal with another person’s nagging or whining or complaining unless you want to.

14.  You can tend to your parents more.

15.  You can have strong relationships with your nieces and nephews.

16.  You have more time to volunteer.

17.  You can go study Islam overseas.

18.  You can sleep whenever you want and for as long as you want.

19.  There’s no fighting or drama.

20.  You don’t have to change yourself for anyone else.

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  • I’m… just… speechless… This is simply awful.

    Lots of selfishness here. Can you imagine if a sister wrote this? The brothers would be all over her about how “selfish” a woman she is and how could she not want to “sacrifice” for her family and how dare she want to work or study, etc.

    How old is the brother who wrote this? Maybe young guys have no appreciation for the importance and joys of family life? Traditionally (things are unfortunately changing a lot with modernity) in my dh’s culture (Syria) one’s family is seen as the greatest source of joy and fulfillment. If you watch the Syrian dramas set in the old days they still place a lot of value and nostalgia on that belief.

    But this attitude is so… ugh! And please don’t tell me that it’s supposed to be funny because it really isn’t.

  • Whoa sister jennifer, i think ur looking at this the wrong way. it’s meant to show the ‘good side’ of being single as opposed to the ‘bad side’ that i wrote about the other week. these are all things that are true and are things we should take advantage of when we’re single. they shouldn’t be taken as ‘reasons to stay single’. lots of people want to get married but the means just aren’t there. we have to appreciate what we have. i’m sure people are very happy married and fulfilled but so are single people.

  • Single people are miserable… Now don’t anybody try to sugar coat that…
    There is nothing in this world that make a man happier than his own kids. When u guys have them one day inshallah you will agree with me.
    Family is very important and in human beings 1plus 1 makes 11.
    Now I wouldn’t say the brother was selfish because he did mention volunteer and religious studies. But I do agree some Muslims would have been bent out of shape if a sister would have wrote the above piece.

  • lol bro ahmed. i know too many miserable married people and many happy single people to let you sugar coat that. no doubt kids bring joy to everyone but you can get them via family members too and without all the nappy changing hehe. this is probably one of those things that depends on what side of the grass you’re on :)

  • I think the brother means if you are happily married, then you are much better off than being single lol

  • Well, there were good points and bad points in this list. While I do agree that one gets more time to spend with other kids and doing some things for oneself, I don’t think having the responsiblity is a bad thing. Being able to care for, and be cared for by one’s spouse must be a great thing and then of course, when the kids come, through the diapers, tantrums and all, I’m sure all of that is worth it in the end. So I say, when Allah Wills, bring on the dirty diapers, the nagging and drama, but of course, until then, I will enjoy my nieces and nephews and try to do things that I’ve always wanted to do before those responsibilities come.

  • that only applies if your parents allow you to do things mentioned above…i cant do 90% of the things that were on that list…

  • Ok I agree with some of ur point. There is that occasional nagging and tantrums and breaking of stuff and things go on and on and on. Yes there sure are days where my above comments are a total sugar coating of a sour pickel but I wouldn’t have it anyother way. I hope Allah get all of u brothers and sisters married off at the right chosen time and bless u will rightous children soon after marriage. And rightous means to support ur families as well. While my wife is running around my son in the kitchen I am holding my month old daughter… This motivate me to achive better. And that’s very important for a human being. Motivation to set an example for the kids, motivation to act in a rightous fashion. Allah accept our fasting and good deeds. Amen

  • Assalamualiakum,

    I’m new to this web site, some are true.

  • i guess its easily explained by.. you don’t know the different level of happiness unless your on this side of the view, until then.. happiness is found on that side of the view. Insha Allah happy both ways :)

  • I have been married for little over a year now, and it is a blessing, and it is tuff. Tuff learning to co-exist. But why not co-exist, as no one up here on this blog has said that Being married is half of your deen. I don’t think getting married is half, I think staying married is half. I love my wife. At times I feel anger I try my best to stay quiet. One word or expression always seems to get out before I keep myself quiet though. She can read it on my face. We can’t be perfect. We can only try, make dua, istikarah(typo?) and Pray that our decisions leading our actions are righteous. I find myself constantly online searching for answers in Islam about what I should do if this happens, or if that happens what could be my alternative to the norm in society’s marriages. I look for how the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) dealt with the everyday going-ons of his own household. It all makes sense to get AND STAY married! Kinda brings you to another level of maturity by involuntarily having mirrored for you everyday your actions by another’s reactions. Your spouse shows you when you are BS’ing your self, and if you are trying to BS someone else. Sorry for the language. But your Spouse is there as a Mirror to the Muslim. Your soul is reflected when you step up to being married. Just a note to take heed to All you muslims out there. And for the muslim in here(pointing to self). ;) As-Salaamu-Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

  • i totally agree with u brother. being single is much better. the 1 bad thing about being single is that you might fall into the major sin of sleeping with someone before marriage. other than that, single is gurrrrrrrrrd :):):):):)

  • somehow..i think i only agree with your point no. for the rest.i thnk that are not the reasons y u cnt marry can do all the activities with your partner and childrenn….its better..complete your life.. :)