Jan 18, 2007 - marriage stuff    7 Comments

Who would u rather marry?

Salam,

K these philosophical questions always come up amongst girls at 2 o’ clock in the morning ;) we had a good time discussing this one in nyc this weekend… thought i’d ask u my beloved blog readers (esp if someone’s married their thoughts would be interesting too):

Say you only had two choices: Would you marry someone who you loved and didn’t love you or someone who loved you and you didn’t love…. and why?

and btw we had a theory about brothers and sisters answers but i’ll let u answer first…

u know what from the logs a lot of ppl are reading the blog but no one comments!! so i’m gonna move this to the msg board… pls post there:

http://archives.themadina.com/index.php?topic=1470.0

7 Comments

  • hahahaha this is your philosophical 2am question?…you said your sick of love …but based on this question maybe you really need to be at Lovenotes :p. and in answer to your question….neither i rather be single then married to someone who dosent love me or vice versa duh!

  • look at the dates… this was posted a week ago… a week’s a long time!!! there are only TWO choices to the question, u can’t say none or both or something else…;) also post in the thread on the board cuz it was moved to the board…no comments here…!! :) ws

  • Salamon Alaikom,

    This reply comes all the way from Occupied Ramallah, Palestine!

    Well, i’d say i’d rather marry a guy who loved me and not necessarily me loving him. (I am married and we are both head-over heals in love with each other, as far as i know! lol).

    My philosophy is:
    We, arab women, are in general extremely faithful to house and husband. We tend to give our 100.5%, whether in love or not. But men are not romance experts in the first place, so if he’s not in love with me.. then gosh! i’d have to do double the work: house, kids, work AND romance?

    So let him love me, i’ll grow to love him as our relationship grows stronger through time and shared experiences.

    Flaming love dies with time, it’s the deeper emotion of respect and mutual understanding that grows stronger and never dies.

    As the Almighty said “and we created between them adoration and compassion”. Allah swt did not say ‘we created love’, since it is the more tender emotion of adoration and the true feeling of compassion that lasts.

    PS: i read the post with the tooth fairy. You guys are mean! i am a dentist! and i am a nice person! come to Palestine, (if the Israelis let you in!) and i’ll get you a great root canal filling. You’ll pay around 250$ for the whole lot…
    and please everybody: brush and floss DAILY. Mouthwashes are not essential if you give your teeth a good scrub.

    Many warm salams,
    Hadil

  • walaikum salaam hadil,

    your message made me smile… thanx for writing… i just listened to ahmed bukhatir’s ‘al quds tunadina’ recently… so heartbreaking. may Allah make it easier for you all.

    ws

  • lol…dz a gd Q…ne way…i wld choose sme 1 who loved me bt i didnt so he cn show me hiz love….

  • the link was not working so i want to know what were the thoughts!

  • Well, I’m married and I love her and Insha’Allah she loves me… but just hypothetically, to answer your question, I would rather marry someone who loves me. Why? Well, to marry someone I love, and she does not return my love, would be never-ending torment. It’s too pathetic. My pride would not allow it. I would always know that my feelings were not returned and it would always hurt.

    On the other hand, if she loves me (and I must at least respect her and find her attractive, even if I don’t love her), I can treat her with kindness and respect, and I think I could be happy. Also, men fall in love easier than women, so most likely I would come to love her soon enough.