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Author Topic: Why are you still single?  (Read 18430 times)

jannah

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #15 on: Mar. 01, 2009, 12:33 AM »

It is wrong of you to say that most sisters are satanic. Obviously that's not true and I really suggest you start learning about sisters before you get married to one.

Secondly,
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There no such thing as moderate Muslim in Islam. It's only complete and extreme. This is my opinion.  If I am wrong pls correct me.

This is not true. Islam is ummatun wassatiyah, we are the middle way, the middle path. And yes you are either Muslim or not-Muslim but there are huge shades in between. Someone can be Muslim but can be a bad one... like lazy about many things and no there are no perfect muslims in the world we are living today, so every Muslim is going to fall in these shades. Someone can also be a non-muslim but one that is sympathetic or helps Muslims and one can be one that hates Muslims and tries to destroy them. Anyone who thinks of the world as black and white has not lived in the real world, but one of their own making.

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Lavender

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #16 on: Mar. 05, 2009, 04:17 AM »

I am single because of my addiction to school. Even before I took my self-imposed sabbatical from all things related to me getting married, i was on an unofficial one. I mean, my friends are all married and I would hang out with them and their husbands, but I was more interested in my books and taking that next class. I would joke about how I was married to my education.
It's funny how 5 years ago, I was obsessed with getting married. I was studying abroad and everyone was talking about getting married, so much so that our dorm was like, a house of eligibles. (We were students of knowledge, so who wouldn't wanna marry their son off to us, we were "perfect") Women would come to the dorm and request the nationality of wife they wanted for their son/nephew/brother. Usually, it was Russian, British or American. When they saw us, they would immediately tell us to go back, we weren't "American" or "British" enough for the. Then, the Russian girls were too "fat" for them. It was like, eww.
Dag, I didn't mean to rant like that. InshaAllah, when i get over my addiction, I will attempt to get married.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #17 on: Mar. 06, 2009, 01:44 PM »

My mother asked me the other night we had a good chat, and she said if anyone was interested in me, i said i dont think so you tell me. and she went silent so i take that as a no. i know i am not beautiful ill never be and i am comfortabel with who i am and what i look like, when i was younger it was an issue but now i focus on my personailty and my knowladge. i sont think looks are important at all, and i dotn frankly care anymore this is the body allah gave me. people always say what a lovely girl i am,and how sweet and kind i am. not to blow my own horn but i am a nice person. but nice isnt good enough.. men want the whole package beauty and great personality.. i only have personailty and a great one. but that isnt enough.
so it looks like im going to be single alot longer then i had hoped. :(
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brisingr9

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #18 on: Mar. 06, 2009, 04:53 PM »

Dont give up so soon. You are only 21 .  People are there out there who are not married even at 30. Put your trust only in Allah and be PATIENT..!
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Muslimah21

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #19 on: Mar. 08, 2009, 11:20 AM »

Hahaha,

No offence but i do not want to be 30 when i get married. :S id liek to have kids and my own family when i am young. Prophet also stressd that young girls should get marryed as soon as they could. i am ready so there is nothign holding me back... excpet finding someone lol.
i dont want to wait until im 30 not becuase i cant wait but becuase id like to have a family when i am still young. not sayign 30 is old. but for me its very late in life. and a women who is 30 an unmarried it is harder for her to get married. i have 2 aunts one 35 the other 47. my aunt who is 47 only just recently got married, cant have kids becuase her biological clock is slowing down and she really really wants kids. she rgrets not getting married when she was in her 20's. my aunt who is 35 cant get married no one is interested, and that is the hardest thing ever i cant imagine it. and i don't want that to happen to me. be all alone at 35 no kids, no husband, no companion... its not the sort of life i asspire to have. :S
Prophet talked about marriage and its importance sooo much that he said a man or women who dont get married are not one of him. which means not a muslim. so i think alone states the importance of marriage.
Hope i dont offend anyone :S
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jannah

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #20 on: Mar. 09, 2009, 08:39 AM »

salams,

there are sisters who are unmarried at 30 like myself!! i do think it's late, but i've noticed that the age range of marriage has changed over the last 10 years and that many of my friends have gotten married in the 24-28 range. so, even still, you are quite right. it's best to get married at a young age because you have a lot more things to choose from, a bigger pool of guys and it does make your life a lot easier. and our community is heavily family oriented and to not be married is quite a struggle in terms of life and iman. so i wish you well sister. inshallah you'll find someone soon

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Muslimah21

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #21 on: Mar. 09, 2009, 10:31 PM »

Sorry Jannah i hope i didnt offend you, im not saying 30 is old. :'(
Just for me, my preferences is to have a family while i am in my early 20's. i suppose i seen how it worked out for my parents. my mother was 18 when she had my brother, and me and my other brother shortly after. and it was nice, young family. they could do sooo much with us, and they had alot of energy. i mean my mother wasnt focused on her carreer, she loved children and wanted to be mum so much. and i am the same too. i want t ayoung family and lots of kids too.

Thank you, and good luck to you too sis

(sorry again :S)
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reeldeel

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #22 on: Mar. 15, 2009, 09:09 PM »

Am single because I have no idea how to find a wife, how to meet her and how to get to know her. The only prospective sisters I come across  are at islamic lectures as in the Gaza one Muslimah21 spoke about. I general don't freely mix with the opposite sex, but I've started doubting that stance because if I don't, how would I expect to ever meet anyone. One lecturer (not Aalim) said there is a big problem when we get married as us brothers dont know how to speak to women, and that we should actually speak to them. The imam at our uni also said its perfectly fine. Dunno... gotta search for daleel I guess.
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jannah

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #23 on: Mar. 16, 2009, 07:51 PM »

I don't think your Imam meant to go up and start chit chatting women up at these lectures!!  8) :-* :-* The best way to meet people is through networking. Let your friends and a few select elders know that you are looking and keep aware at various events, weddings, parties about the various sisters that are single and available. If you see someone interesting or that you would ike to know more, you can find out who she is from them and continue from there. Also stay active in your area in various things, volunteering, helping out at the mosque whatever... and not only will it make your life more fulfilling but you will meet some dedicated sisters on the same path. Good luck inshallah ;)
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Jeremy

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #24 on: Mar. 17, 2009, 01:37 AM »

Totally agree with Jannah. I should add though that results are not guaranteed. We only have to do our part in a way that pleases Allah and his messenger (pbuh), and if Allah wishes things will work out.
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The Lion

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #25 on: Mar. 18, 2009, 08:01 AM »


Salams,

Why I am still single? Hmm.

I am still single because I am still in University and hopefully getting a Master's in Physiotherapy, inshAllah. On the contrary, I have no money and usually or most girls would not marry their future-to-be-husband until they are financially stable.

Also, I am out of options. What I mean by that is, whenever my parents network with their Muslim friends, their kids are either too young or too old or are already married. So, that's a problem I have. As for me, I have no networking skills because the majority of the time when I meet a Muslim brother, I end up refraining from asking about his friends and so on and that it had lead me nowhere before, so I just don't try.

I think the biggest factor, though, is because I haven't met that one girl. If she could only be here with me.  Sob. Sob. :'(
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Shah

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #26 on: Mar. 18, 2009, 12:09 PM »

cuz i'm broke
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Eemo

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #27 on: Mar. 18, 2009, 01:16 PM »

Hi 5 Shah! :)
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Shah

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #28 on: Mar. 18, 2009, 01:21 PM »

right back at you brother. hows the weather in old england?
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Eemo

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Re: Why are you still single?
« Reply #29 on: Mar. 18, 2009, 01:40 PM »

Sunny but cool, just how i like it. Awesomeness :p
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