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Author Topic: Marriage Lecture at University  (Read 3986 times)

Muslimah21

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Marriage Lecture at University
« on: Mar. 01, 2009, 09:50 PM »

i went to lecture on marriage i loved every second of it and i will tell you why.

First of all the speaker was funny yet informative, he spoke from a personal level and with refernces from quran and hadith to back up his arguments and points and also did a little slide show of it.
i loved how he told us about his personal life as in how he got married. subhanallah he was a student too back in the day and he met his wife at a lecture. he was actually doing the lecture and he spotted her at the back of the hall and mashallah he said he knew as soon as he saw her she was the one, so at the end of the lecture he spoke to the brother who was next to him, saying do you know that girl i am interested in approching her for marriage, well that brother turned to him and said "dude thats my cousin" alhamdulilah he gave his permission to talk to her,  after his cousin speant tiem with him and knew he was a decent brother, he passed the first interogation lol. and when he approched her she was interested too. he told his father and she told hers. and after a year they were married. he is pakistani and she was an international student from sudan. mashallah they have 7 children togther now and live in london.
He told us for him he knew straight away she was the one from a distance. his distant family didnt approve she was black and not pakistani. and pakistani men like whiter wifes usually. :S

The begning of the lecture was an argument put forward in favor of the islamic way fo marriage, its pros and that if done properly their are no cons to it. is you have the right tools and have a clear and proper understanding of what will be good for you, and what you need to look for. he also stressed alot that always always have family involved from day one. even the reverts need a wali, some dont and its actually not very nice at all.
he went on to tell us about ways to meet people, parents, family, and if that doesnt work go to the mosque. he did however not like the idea of internet based marriage sites. and he put some good arguments across for it which i totally agree with. i dont believe in marriage sites. its too easy to lie and the criteria is rediculous an example:
-hair colour?
-skin colour=racist i think
-nationality
-ethnicity
-mother tongue
-height
-wieght
-age
-eye colour

Bascially all things you have no control over, its ridiculous i think.!! actually madness!!

they also go on to ask:
-do you pray? (come on thats got to be a joke??)
-do you eat halal??? (duuuh of course you would)

If you dont do any of these things why the hell are you wanting to get married on a muslim marriage site??? its sheer crazyness.
they ask the most pointless questions, nothing about that persons iman, you have to literally sift through all the crap (excuse my language) to find a decent person. its not helpful at all.
iv seen a few sites, all the girls are non hijabies with professional make up and hair, all air brushed and i am sat there thinking this is what the muslim brothers on here want why would i even sign up?? seriously its such a load of rubbish. sorry but i think it is.

anyways he went on to expalin the correct ways of conducting meetings with each other and talking to each other. no meeting alone. you need to be escorted by a male wali (bro/father/imam) etc etc.
the conversation should be inkeeping of the goal of marriage, so no flirting, no chit chat which is not releavent.

it was soo good to hear a man who has been happily married for 15 years tell me what i always believed to be the right way to get married. i came out of the lecture actually feeling ready to get married knowing i had the knowladge know to help me find a spouce. alhamdulilah it was a great evening. he also at the end answered the typical questions the 4 wives question, the situations you can meet people. etc etc.

anyways, sorry i went on a bit. i just wanted to share what i had heard that evening as i loved it and it helped me alot. :D

jazakallah khier


salams
:D


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brisingr9

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #1 on: Mar. 03, 2009, 03:38 PM »

dont be sorry , tihs site is meant for such discussions. i appreciate  ur views. hope u get married soon to a good man ameen. by the way what type of university discusses islam that to marraige in islam that to in uk. just curious to know?
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #2 on: Mar. 03, 2009, 08:20 PM »

Lots of universities discuss marriage, we do it once a year for new people and we do many other topics. science in quran, womens roles, education, society, everything that is of interest to the young muslim students. It was islamic awarness week. it was meant for non muslism who sterotype muslim marriage as soemthing with no love, soemthing forced where women have no rights.

I am not tellign you the name of my unviersity. its south england thats all im saying :D
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Lavender

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #3 on: Mar. 05, 2009, 02:40 AM »

The lecture sounds really interesting. I recently went to a showing of a film about arranged marriages, with a discussion afterwards. It was a Jewish film, but I think some of the issues could crossover into Islam. They talked about like, Orthodox Jews using products, like Tropicana Orange juice as a way of knowing so much about someone.
Your post reminded me of that.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #4 on: Mar. 06, 2009, 01:46 PM »

 "like Tropicana Orange juice as a way of knowing so much about someone."

Lavender i found that part interetsing, what do you mean? tropicana mmmh i love that drink lol. what does it mean though??
:S
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Jeremy

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #5 on: Mar. 07, 2009, 04:03 AM »

What about those who prefer V8 over Tropicana? Any hope for my kind....lolol
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Lavender

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #6 on: Mar. 08, 2009, 08:27 PM »

ok, as far as the tropicana orange juice goes, apparently, there are rabbis who say you can't drink tropicana, for whatever reason. So if you do not drink it, you follow that rabbi. somehow it also tells what part of Israel you would live in as well as the level of kosher you follow. I have no idea how it can do all that though.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #7 on: Mar. 08, 2009, 08:58 PM »

Wow that was an interestign faact of the day. thanks for that lavender.
Jews confuse me too much lol. :D


Ok i see what you mean now anyways thanks for clarifying it for me :D
 
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #8 on: May. 19, 2009, 05:47 PM »

wow thats is a legendry topic haha i would go to every marriage one lol. but damnthey didnt do these marriage ones in our university. lol

buts it always good to get an insight frm ppls experiences, thnx sis
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #9 on: May. 25, 2009, 09:42 PM »

Justkhan why didnt you suggest it to your islamic society? were you part of it? you could have arranged it yourself. I got in touch with one Shiekh and he was more then willing to come talk at our unviersity. I am in touch with Abdul Malik he is american but not a shiekh but he does talks around unviersities and communities. and also Yvonne Ridley and also Shiekh Yusef Estes. He is coming over June23rd going ot be in london and then on the 29th he is going ot be in bristol that is the closest place ot me so inshallah i will go to the talk :D

We have a marriage talk once a year durign ISlamic awarness week. which is in March. We do talk on Hijab, also. We had Khalid Yassin come, but he was not as good as i thought he would be, he basically stood and read out of a book :( so i was dissapointed i thought he would put his own spin on things.
We had Ibn jaleel come to our uni he is afghanistan born but rasied in Texas. He was very good, did a talk on the Grave. He was funny but also informative, gave examples from his own life experinces. He was good. He dressed in traditional Afghan clothes too. 
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #10 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:17 PM »

tHanx MaSHAlah, Only iF tHIS was A yeaR aGO lol,
uni is almost over fr me but ur right, definately would have been good to go always been interested in islamc talk our main campus had lots but are smaller campus hardly had any..
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #11 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:18 PM »

which meant i msised alot of the talk as i didnt knw when they were happening.
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #12 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:20 PM »

mashlalah u have given me a good idea to contact the brother and maybe set up and get a mailing list fr the muslim brother, 2 inform them bout these talks. specially fr guys on our campus
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #13 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:22 PM »

hey sis if maybe u can write where the talks will happen. tht would be useful, as thinking im gnna be free during the holidays. inshallah
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage Lecture at University
« Reply #14 on: Jun. 03, 2009, 05:02 PM »

They only happened during islamic awarness week. Which is in march. And its on the south coast of england maybe too far for you. And they are held in the evenings.
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