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Author Topic: Most important things you've learned over the years...  (Read 9789 times)

Muslimah21

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #30 on: Sep. 04, 2009, 11:47 PM »

True that too brother.
sometimes you have to be patient and deal with the situation and work for the future. some people just live for now.. and dont give things a chance, impatient and want things now. but sometimes the best things happen last for people.
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sheikh87

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #31 on: Sep. 05, 2009, 12:02 AM »

Yea, I think I am going through something about dealing with this. If I want something like a wife, I'll have to realize that I'll have to do stuff I don't want to in order to get something that great. Sometimes people end up doing minor sins in order to not get into major sins. And I link that with everything else in life.

But I think I'm being vague in what I said. I don't mean a person should get to know a girl in a haram way. But what I mean is taqwaa is in the heart and iman is seen through the actions through trying to do the right thing. But if you can't do the right thing 100% theoritically speaking, it doesn't mean to deprive yourself of what you need so you can eventually do the right things 100%. Like quitting smoking, start of using the patch if you need to, but the important thing is you must quit eventually.

I better go study before I keep going on lol.
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Africanmuslimah88

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #32 on: Sep. 05, 2009, 02:43 AM »

Yes, I agree that you should wait in life in order to achieve  something great. Not always the guy with the amazing job, great looks, wealth will be whats best for you. If thats what your looking for then your only interested in instant gratification which always leads to dissapointment later on in life.

Personally, I went through a situation where a guy who was good looking, educated and with a great job approached me--everything on the surface seemed like he was a great catch but he was not that religious. I turned him away without even blinking because I knew that although my nafs was pleased that he had all these outwardly things, I was truly not pleased with his lack of enthusiasm towards the deen.

At the end of the day, we will end up with those we seek so we should always strive to do things for the sake of Allah SWT.
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sheikh87

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #33 on: Sep. 05, 2009, 06:15 AM »

That's good to hear. I always tell people that when you are looking for another person first check out the less important things which are looks wealth, and status. If those are okay, then ask about the most important thing last, deen. If that's not okay, then reject them. But if you ask about deen first and then reject them because of lack in looks, wealth or status it means deen is not as important to you.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #34 on: Sep. 05, 2009, 07:19 PM »

I do not believe that the means justifies the end.
Doign something haram inorder to marry. because as muslims we know that its not right. For us we need to do whats right all the time inorder to get a good result. and know allah will be pleased with us.

therefore its not ok to get to know a girl in the haram manner with the intention of marriage. that woudl be bending the rules to suit your own human desries. Islam is about controlling ones desires and abid by the divine laws. WHich are nto corrupted by mans desire, lust, ego etc etc.

That is why if you want blessing from allah you do what pleases him. You lower your gaze, you dont meet sisters/brothers alone, you dont talk inapropriatly on "msn" texting or on the phone. you have taqwa. becuase when it comes to the opposite sex you have to tread very carefully. Keep to the guidlines, do not transgress like allah has warned us about.

 
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sheikh87

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #35 on: Sep. 05, 2009, 10:38 PM »

No, actually, I was talking about working in jobs that are not 100% halal so you can have the money to get married.

Some people want to have some money then get married. And others decide to get married then look for money. LOL.

Personally, I am tired off this whole thing too. I thought I should look, but since I have university to take care of, after thinking about the whole thing, I gave up before even starting. I think I need to wake up and smell the coffee.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #36 on: Sep. 06, 2009, 12:33 AM »

I know many sisters and brothers who started to be introduced to people at unviersity. soem even married. I mean just had nikkah so they can talk to one another and meet one another out and about in a halal way. My friend who is 2nd year at unviersity she is 20 is getting married this year some time. just having Nikkah and in the summer go do walima in morocco, her husband to be is pakistani, mashallah. and in her final year they will live togther.
He jsut qualified unviersity so is not rolling in money. but becuase they both think alike, they agree that money is not an obsticle.
So i think you need to meet the right sister who thinks a little like you in terms of financial things.

Haram money? as in loans? i would not marry a man who had a loan or wanted to take one out to get married. I am last year of nviersity and never had a loan. I took two years off worked full time earned money and i am living off that. no help from my family. sometiems they bring me the odd shopping now and then. but i support myself. and i did not deal with haram money, or riba.
And any interest that accumulates in my account i take it all out and give away to a charity or to a fellow student who is struggling to live.

Anywho thats just me.

jazakallah khier
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sheikh87

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #37 on: Sep. 06, 2009, 12:41 AM »

nah, I meant haram money as in so many of the jobs like, working where you sell cigerattes, sell pork products etc.

I'm not talking about loans, i woldn't take them just because I don't need to.

Masha Allah. I am gonna be able to find a job in sha Allah but I don't need to work unless I want to get married. Otherwise, if I stick to dining alone, I can settle with whatever I have of scholarships etc. al-hamdulillah.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #38 on: Sep. 19, 2009, 02:21 PM »

Noo i wouldnt marry a person who worked with Riba so those who work in banks and deal with riba even the clerks and assistants. anyoen who deals with that sort of thing.
I wouldnt marry a person who works in a shop and has to handle pork, ciggerttes, alcohol etc etc or even a man who works in a womans store that is just wrong lol. I seen it in morocco men work in ladies underwear stalls and its just creepy dotn they realsie no women will marry them??

As long as he earns his money the honest way and islamic way, through hard work.
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The Lion

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Re: Most important things you've learned over the years...
« Reply #39 on: Jun. 09, 2010, 05:48 AM »

What I learned over the years?

... Time Flies!

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