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Author Topic: Marriage events: would you go?  (Read 6525 times)

Ponderer

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Marriage events: would you go?
« on: Apr. 07, 2009, 09:30 PM »

I saw the post for the New Jersey Muslim Matrimonial event and it got me thinking, would I go to such an event? I have never been to a marriage event, I'm not sure it is for me. We have plenty of marriage events in London, some are always sold out, others are too expensive and some others have restrictions e.g. for "converts only" or "professionals only". What do other people think of marriage events? Should I keep an open mind and go to one? Surely the probability of finding someone out of a room full of people is quite low?
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Eemo

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 09, 2009, 05:47 PM »

My friend runs some of these events in the north, and he's always inviting me but i just didnt feel it was for me.
I didnt expect to find any practising muslims in any of these places. He did say there have been some successful results for the participants, so you never know.

Matter of preference i suppose.

My business partner said that you never know, someone might attend the event thinking the same thing. i.e. its not something they would do ordinarily and doesnt agree to their sensibilities, but if two people are thinking it, then you never know what might come of it.

I still couldnt bring myself to go, though, but maybe have a try and report back to us all :)
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Jeremy

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 10, 2009, 04:45 AM »

I've never been to one of these events and it will take a lot of convincing to get me to go to one. Still I think it's one step better than online matremonials!
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jannah

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 11, 2009, 06:16 AM »

I understand that online and matrimonial dinners are more successful for men... so why not try it.. what do u have to lose!! There are a few at all the major conventions and also planned ones in various big cities....maybe this is the wave of the future and how all Muslims will marry one day.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 11, 2009, 11:01 PM »

Well i heard of one last month in london, i was invited. For "moroccans only" i was soo upset by that. I am moroccan. but why they descriminating for???? UUrrghh made me soo angry. I would not go. I hate it when people are only interested in me because i am moroccan, that is the number one thing for them.

I know a sister a african revert. She got close to the bengali community and one day one of the elders said "you are such a nice girl and would be good for my son, But shame you are not one of us" that made me sooo angry. I cant believe they say such a thing. It is hard enough tryna get married but when people resrict you even more with race! makes me mad, so upsetting to see. But alhamdulilah i have seen many people have mixed marriages. Alot of moroccan sisters in my community marrying indian. pakistani, english, african etc etc. Its really good to see. we need to mix, then there will be no race, we will all be beige hehehehe just one big ummah  :P :P

Any way going off on a tangent again. Umm no i wouldnt go, i would feel like i was on sale in a shop and i was there for people to eye me up and short list me and the idea of that is so fake and unatural, for me i also think nto very moral. Although i know people are getting desprete, im 22 and i am getting worried already.  :( :(
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Lavender

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 13, 2009, 01:14 AM »

I was going to go to the event in Jersey, but I had a procedure on my leg and can't really walk. My friend went though. I am trying to reach him so he can tell me about it, but he isn't answering his phone.
I always thought those things were for um, Ethnic types. (like Arabs or Desis). I don't know if the kind of person I am looking for would attend an event like that.
Plus, my dad isn't exactly a fan.
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Ponderer

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #6 on: Apr. 13, 2009, 02:08 PM »

Some valid points, I'm glad I asked the question. Seeing people face to face is definitely better than online matrimonials. I have found online matrimonials useless and I lean towards them not really being a viable option.
I never thought about things as Muslimah said about being on display at these things. I agree, I suppose your looks will be the first deciding factor for people. I feel uncomfortable at the thought of sisters being compared with one another. Surely there must be a better way?
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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #7 on: Apr. 17, 2009, 02:31 PM »

I know, its like a competition. And you just know that all the sisters will come dressed to impresss which usually means not wearing islamic clothing, or trying to make thier hijabs sexy, maybe wear your clothing a little tighter so you can show off that small waist etc etc etc. A bit more makeup to exentuate your eyes and lips and the list goes on. It is like a meat market!! i would not take part in it. It goes against everything i know to be morally correct for muslims. I prefer to go down the route of meeting the family, them coming over for dinner, being a private matter no other people watching and making judgment just my family and his. And if it does not work out at the dinner then we never have to see each other again. Whereas at these meetings you are more underpressure to follow through with who you have picked and alot of expectation is put on you. Now i do not know this personally this is from sisters who live in london told me. Some of whom are young and old. And they all told me the same thing. a meat market basically.
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Ponderer

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #8 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 10:42 PM »

Although I am apprehensive about online matrimonials and now marriage events a part of me also questions whether it is it being a bit unrealistic to think that one can meet the right person conventionally. What are the odds of that happening? It would be perfect but the problem is that Muslims especially in Western countries are so dispersed. Maybe if all of us tried these things, even if they are not perfect, we could gain access to real potential people? But then again why should we have to comprimise on our morals and what we are comfortable with? (Sorry to be so confusing I think I am just pondering! :) )
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jannah

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #9 on: May. 03, 2009, 02:46 AM »

I say just do it... what do you have to lose? And if you get married who cares what people think. I can tell you of tons of people I know who lie about how they met, and they've really met through online or matrimonial stuff. And then they tell people their "families set it up"... so just go for it, the worse thing that can happen is that you won't get married that way... so you'll just find another way inshallah :)
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #10 on: May. 19, 2009, 05:42 PM »

I neva can see mmyself in one off those events either i jsut dnt wanna get close to a girl, unless im gnna marry her which is so stupid of me lol.

"The thing bout the bengali person", is sad, but its jsut the culture those guys of the past have grown up with and the attitudes.

Inshallah I hope neva to put my children through such things and hope we can jsut come back to listening to wisdom of islam.

Marrying someone cause theyre muslim irellevant of colour and nationality.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #11 on: May. 19, 2009, 06:20 PM »

A agree, but arabs are also like that too, if an arab was to marry an asian; people look down on you in the community. They see arabs as being superior to asians and better muslims then them. Its a joke!
But alhamdulilah alot fo the girls in my community have married non arabs, some asian, some white reverts some african.
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justKhan22

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #12 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:27 PM »

mashlalh  thts truly beautiful!

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ya_Lateef

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #13 on: Jun. 22, 2009, 01:55 PM »

Asalamu Aleykum
I asked my dad I was like anyone you'd reccomend for me? hes like let me think about it .. Then he said how about this marriage events and take youre big bro with you that way you kill two birds with 1 stone!

I might go it seems really interesting and proactive so i'll do it in the future insha Allah . My masjid holds these events so just need to convince my big brother . Wish me luck and send some duaa so that my brother's  heart is open to the idea .


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3bdiAllaah

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Re: Marriage events: would you go?
« Reply #14 on: Aug. 13, 2010, 05:50 PM »

for "converts only" or "professionals only"
for "morrocans only"
for "arabs only"

JOKE!

in baba ali's shrill tone *JOOOKE*
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