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Author Topic: Love in a headscarf :D  (Read 4201 times)

Muslimah21

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Love in a headscarf :D
« on: Apr. 17, 2009, 02:37 PM »

This is a great book, i heard lots of good things about it. It is written by Shelina Zahra janmohamed. She is pakistani, her life story is on this website if you want to read and the book is based on her experinces in finding love: http://www.loveinaheadscarf.com/

I just bought the book today and inshallah plan on starting it tomorow after i finish my assignment. I heard also men can read it too and i think it would be a good idea if they want to get more of an inside view on the difficulties woman go through when finding a spouce. I cant wait to read it, i do reccomend it to you sisters becuase i knwo people who have read it and loved it.

Anyone else read it? i think you can get it from amazon for £4 which is a bargin i think. I bought a couple of marriage books along with this one on how to find a suitable partner in islam etc etc. The usual stuff, you can never learb to much :D
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layla79

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 18, 2009, 01:00 PM »



assalamu alaykum Muslimah. how are u today?

i have seen the site.. it seems really an interesting book. But is it available now outside of UK?
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Muslimah21

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 18, 2009, 01:54 PM »

Waalikum aslam  :)

Im well thank you. and yourself?
Yeah you can buy it from amazon they deliver anywhere in the world.... well not anywhere but to lots of places. I bought mine from amazon.
 :D
 :P
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Ponderer

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 10:33 PM »

Looks quite interesting. Thanks for telling us about it :)
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Muslimah21

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 11:39 PM »

Mashallah after 3 days i have completed the book.
It was a roller coaster of emotions, made me cry, laugh, cringe lol. It was such a good book. This woman shelina opens up to us and tells us abotu her true story of finding her Prince charming, The ONE as she calls him. the many men she had to meet before she met him was an amazing but also frustrating journay at times.
Her journey meant she was inlisted into a database, went speed dsating the muslim way and also resorting tto the internet which proved to be a big mistake as she states.

However the thing i admire about her, is that she saw everything and everyone she met as a positive experince, she was 19 when she started her search, like me. But was 32 when she met The One.
Many time throught out the book it seems she found someone perfect but then she finds out they are not the same pathway to love and spirituality.
I have to say i have learnt alot from Shelina. She started off very naive but grew into an independent woman, who was often rejected for her modesty and choice of wearing hijab.... evenb told by some suiters to remove it!!

She found the one back at home in london at an event.. The man was everythign she wanted, Her father said she would have to compramise her list of criteria.. she had 6 criterion and he said she would be lucky to get 3-4. But despite the numerous let downs by meetings with suiters. She never ever compramised her values and criteria. But she grew as a person as muslimah and a woman. Her husband was everything she wanted and everything on the list.
Religious, handsome, tall dark and handsome (dimples) intelgent, well educated, looked wise, spoke eliquently, and very romantic he spoke to her with respect, she knew as soon as she saw him. Every one respected him, he worked for an islamic charity... mashallah, the best job any man could have. Was not rich, and his job was not flashey like the other asian muslim men who were docters, dentists, engineers but were all shallow. She knew he was the one straight away... and after 2 months they were engaged, and she had her dream wedding.

At the age of 32 she found true love, her prince charming, and all i can say is subhanallah that has only made me realsie that i shouldnt have to compramise who i am, what i believe in order to get married... That i too can have my own prince charming who i will love deeply and will grow togther (i know that sounds cheesey) But subhananllah... allah knows who is best for us, what is best for us, and he already knows who our marriage partner or soul mate will be. 

jazakallah khier

(if you are goign to read this ladies you need soem tissues  :'()
 :D
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jannah

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #5 on: May. 03, 2009, 02:43 AM »

ws,

sounds really beautiful... but it is a book after all. i think as people grow older they DO compromise on their ideals. you just have to otherwise you'll never be married. so although it seems all poetic and romantic to not give up on all the wonderful things you'd love in a mate and never give up, real life is something else  :(
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zaheddec

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #6 on: May. 03, 2009, 05:43 PM »

Looks like a good story. I definitely say that the author is lucky to find one. I 100% agree with jannah and in 99% of case with age, specially for woman, the chances goes down exponentially. For men there can few exception where they grow great financially and professionally and get a chance to meet even girls and even young girls.
Being engineer or doctor does not say that they are not religious. I believe with a little compromise and little patience. Things will be different.
A good engineer, who is a good muslim too will help both the family and society better...

Any ways I have a question, what was the age of man when she got married to him.. Just curious to know, if it is mentioned :)

The best thing for me to know that sisters are reading quite a lot of books, I m happy to be a part this crowd  :)
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zaheddec

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #7 on: May. 03, 2009, 06:52 PM »

hahhahah sooooo funnyy..

It really a coincident that I m also writing a blog about Muslim marriages :)
I was listening to the story how this book came. What an idea man, but she was a step ahead :)

Good to see a sister like that :)

Hope one day I will come up with book from brothers side, Inshallah :)
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Muslimah21

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #8 on: May. 06, 2009, 10:07 PM »

Sister  Jannah its not just a book this is real life, this women went through it. Its true story and she even spoek about it on the BBC and CNN. Its not a fairy tale. I do believe in a soul mate. That there is one person who is your match, your other half, Kindred spirits and meant to be. Sometiems they do not meet and they may not meet until they die. Allah allam. I liek shelina believe in the ONE. and she has only further reinforced it for me.

The brother was 33 and she was 32. He also did nto meet the one, and he was busy with dawah work he did alot of Lectures and projects for the youth but he did the whole meet women through his aunts and family and he found nothing he didnt find his match.
I met a pakistani man and he said when he saw his wife he knew she was the one before he spoke to her. And they are married, with 5 kids mashallah. He is pakistani and she is from sudan, same age too. I believe in soul mate and i have met proof of it. and they ahve told me not to compramise or give up. be active and travel and i will find them inshallah 
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jannah

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #9 on: May. 09, 2009, 09:06 PM »

I don't believe in the concept of soulmates. I think over the course of one's life you meet many people that can be your husband/wife. And whatever happens happens. And that is ultimately your qadr/destiny. Some people get lucky and meet someone that works out right away and other people try with various people until they find something that works. Look at people who are divorced, was that person the one?? People that marry more than once. People who almost married someone else. Who's the "soulmate"? No such thing. Anyone who's sitting around waiting for "the one" is going to be disappointed. Fairtytales could exist like this book, but among the reality of regular people they don't. It's better to be practical instead of have your head in the clouds. Just my opinion.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #10 on: May. 09, 2009, 09:37 PM »

Well you need to kiss many frogs until you find your prince. Yeah you need to meet lots of people.. but in the end if you are patient you will find that special someone.

the prophet SAW love of his life and his soul mate was Khadejah. He has said that himself, and that made his other wives jelouse. But its fact and they accepted it. People who get divourced do so becuase exactly  they are not meant for one another. people cant be patient and  they rush when it comes to these things and end up with an OK person but not the right person.
This is what i believe and what has happened to many people i know, true lives. Not just the authoer but some friends of mine.

Exactly you dont sit around and wait, you need to be active like shelina was, she met suiters every week. She coems from pakisatni background so her aunts and elders have connections with other pakistanis, and they used to coem over to her house for initial meeting. And most of the time it was just one meeting... she didnt feel he was the one. And this happened once every week with different men.
Until she got to 32 she met her husband at an islamic event. She got out. she traveled the middle east she did alot of searching herself.

So if you sit at hoem and wait, yeah you will wait forever and be alone and then end up making do with who ever comes along. Instead of taken things into your own hands, being in the driving seat and being active.
I don't agree with waiting at home, and expecting people to knock on my door.   

Not everyone finds the one thus explaining multiple wives, and divources and why people remarry so many times. that and also becuase of desperassion, not wanting to be alone.. so any old person will do, type of thinking. i know i seen this happen to my aunt. She got to 37 and became desperate, she married the first person who came along. He is a lovely man but he is not her soul mate. Even she told me herself.. but they got married for companionship. But there is no spark there.
 
Before khadijah died, Muhammed SAW didnt look for another and how long were they married? 25 years was it? becuase she was his soul mate.

 
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justKhan22

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #11 on: May. 19, 2009, 06:16 PM »

Mashallah the headscarve is amazing , i really respect girls who wear it,
i think mahshallah i like girls who wear the headscarve mre . makes me happy
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Muslimah21

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #12 on: May. 19, 2009, 06:22 PM »

Some where the headscarf but thier morals are worse then a non hijabie... non existant. Yes its good to wear hijab but you need to carry the morals of a hijabi and the respect too.
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justKhan22

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #13 on: May. 21, 2009, 02:26 PM »

I agree, no ones perfect though...
but hopefully everyone can take it upon themselves to improve.
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justKhan22

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Re: Love in a headscarf :D
« Reply #14 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:34 PM »

haha good lol i re-beleive in this soulmate thing knw! lol after reading throughh the above stuff
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