Advertisement:

Pages: [1] 2 |   Go Down

Author Topic: Masculinity  (Read 4597 times)

Eemo

  • Guest
Masculinity
« on: Apr. 19, 2009, 05:21 PM »

Sisters,

Which ones of you really admire masculinity? What does masculinity mean to you?

What makes you feel feminine and what does feminity mean to you?

Jazakallah.

(PS. Long answers favoured)
Logged

Muslimah21

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 08:56 PM »

I suppose when we hear maculinity the first thing that pops into most minds is men who are muscular, real tough and not in touch with thier feminine side, or do not cry lol. Umm but for me being masculine/male means something else. I think allah created men and women different, men are able to cope with some things alot better then females. Being masculine for me is not about acting tough and lnot crying, that to me shows that the person has no feelings and no compassion. A man crying when his chid is born is not less of a man, a man who isnt afraid to cry infront of his wife, when he feels down or sad is not less of a man. If anything for me that makes him more of a man, just becuase you are a man does not mean allah has deprived you of emotions. 

I do not admire men who are pig headed, or think they are soo tough. I admire men who are shy and behave liek a man, and gentleman. Muscles do not make a man, its the brains  :D

What makes me feel feminine, i suppose i can only back that up with science, and that allah put in me hormones that make me think and feel like a women. Afterall a soul has no sex, i could have been born a male or female. Being femine to some people can mean not doing mans work, not liking things men like, e.g football. I like football but doesnt mean i am not a woman or feminine. Being feminie for me is behaving the way that allah created me, behaving as a daugther, a sister, niece, cousin, and inshallah mother and grandmother.


Umm this made sense in my head lol, if it doesnt then just say so and i will try and clarify  :P


(p.s. is this long enough?)
Logged

brisingr9

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 95
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 09:02 PM »

hey eemo thinking of going to the gym . It's good to be fit .
Logged

Muslimah21

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 10:02 PM »

Thats a cheeky comment  :-X :-X


 :D
Logged

Eemo

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 10:21 PM »

@Muslimah21 : That was great jazakallah.

@brising: I was just curious of what it might mean to them. I already go to the gym.

I was watching a video on a study where they talk about how men should pick women that make them 'feel' like a man, i.e they appeal to their masculinity and that they in turn make the woman flourish in her feminity. It was quite interesting.

They say studies show, ultimately that is the best match regardless of looks, wealth, status and so on. So i guess, one should perhaps find a person that has the same idea or understand of what is masculinity and feminity as you do. (aside from the islamic values of course).

Anyway, its open to debate. Everyone else should chime in.
Logged

Ponderer

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 19
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 19, 2009, 10:54 PM »

I think to a guy being a man is doing what comes naturally to him. This includes what he has been taught by his upbringing of what men in society should do. I think the same goes for women. I think the concepts change over time as well. I think nowadays a woman is no less feminine becuase she works and a man no less masculine because he cooks. To be honest I have never really thought about it before (as you can probably tell!).
Logged

reeldeel

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 90
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #6 on: Apr. 20, 2009, 12:17 AM »

I think a very close relationhip with the mother gets a man in touch with his feminine side or rather more able to understand women.

Sounds like an interesting study though...any links to this video Eemo?
Logged

brisingr9

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 95
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #7 on: Apr. 20, 2009, 07:06 PM »

Hey eemo what do you mean by women who make you feel like a man. Pls clarify. Are there any women who do not make you feel like a man.?? A man can always be a man. As the holy apostle said a women has a curved back if you try to hard to gain your musculine respect from her you will break her back if you don't then they remain curved. Hence be kind to them..! I believe any women can make you feel like a man unless they are not tomboys!!! :D
Logged

Eemo

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #8 on: Apr. 20, 2009, 11:38 PM »

@Ponderer : Yeah, i guess if he can feel comfortable in himself around the lady, then maybe one can consider that he is feeling in his masculinity(?)  i dont know either :)

@reeldeel: Bro, not trying to understand how to get in touch with the feminine side, trying to understand what it takes to find a lady that can help you further enhance your masculinity minus the bravado and what not.

Unfortunately, i cant provide a link to the video, its part of a site im a member of.

There are however, other videos on YouTube, but it depends entirely whether you want to check them out or not. They've been made specifically for non-muslim men in the dating arena.

One guy talks about how "if you can learn, truly, what it means to be a man, the rest will take care of itself". Its very interesting to watch, provided you can look past the 'dating talk' etc.
I certainly learned from it, but some people might find it vulgar in taste.

Let me know if you want the link anyhow.

@Brising. Welll im not relating to myself specifically, im just curious about the issue, but yes, i know there are men out there , that when they meet certain women that dont feel at ease with their masculinity.
This video was talking about how men dont feel like men anymore and that they actuall feel like 'Warmongers, and dogs' because due to a few bad crop, they've on the whole been made to feel like that by women in general.

It was interesting anyway, and certainly resonated with me for the most part.


Logged

jannah

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 269
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #9 on: May. 03, 2009, 03:34 AM »

This is a very interesting question. Just bumping this up so that I can think about it and reply later :)

Logged

Eemo

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #10 on: May. 03, 2009, 11:34 AM »

I found some books that are a social study on this subject, so i'll probably do a syntopical read on them in the next few months and report back.
Logged

Hamza81

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #11 on: Jun. 01, 2009, 08:07 PM »

A man has been created a man, and a women created a women so both should act like how Allah made them but that does not mean that men can't be loving and affectionate aswell as gentle or have to hold back. Being loving and affectionate aswell as having a gentle nature is a really good thing and does'nt mean that a man is intouch with his feminine side. The Prophet (Saw) showed men and women the best way to be towards others and the best way to conduct ourselves in our day to day lives.
Allah has cursed the men who act like and try to resemble women and vice versa. So this shows us men that we should not try to be feminine like the western society of today promotes. Even shaving is the face is said to be trying to resemble a women because a man should naturally have a beard because it makes a man more masculine.
Alsowestern societies are wanting to reduce the roles taken my men and women and make them an equal when Allah made us differently and has given us different roles depending on our biological make up.
Nowadays we also see a lot of Muslim men caught in the trap of western society and we see them wearing pink tops and feminine cardigans aswell as having feminine haircuts. Another worry is the amount of Muslim men that wear their jeans over their buttocks. If they only knew that this trend originated from homosexuals who wore their bottoms over their buttocks to show they were interested in having homosexual relations then they would not do such a thing. I think we need to be more aware of what were doing and why were doing it. May Allah guide us to the straight path. Ameen
Logged

Muslimah21

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #12 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 03:41 PM »

very good points raised hamza.

What about men crying? Muhammed SAW said it is good to cry and something men lack which women have is a very soft heart, This is something men should do. The Prophet SAW also said that if you can not cry even fake it. becuase tears are a sign of mercy and compassion. How many people cry when they make dua? A very small amount.  For example if you make dua for allah to forgive your sins, If you mean it, then it will come from the heart, and as a result your eyes will begin to fill with tears. and afterwards your heart will fill very different. like it has grown, you are aware of it and it feels clean. then you know you are close to allah. How many men do you knpw cry when they make dua? I have sene little. lol.

So men thinks its a female thing to cry but allah encorages it and also Prophet SAW encouraged it and also cryed often.
Sometimes when a family member passes away or soemone close to the family. The women cry but for example my father etc etc. Hold it isnide i am not saying it is bad to hold it inside. But when you feel that pain inside and you let it go, and express your anguish this is the best time to make dua for that person. Becuase your heart is open and your duas have more meaning to them. This is the best time to make dua to the person who is dead. Men should not be affraid to cry.
Logged

Hamza81

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #13 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 04:05 PM »

very good points raised hamza.

What about men crying? Muhammed SAW said it is good to cry and something men lack which women have is a very soft heart, This is something men should do. The Prophet SAW also said that if you can not cry even fake it. becuase tears are a sign of mercy and compassion. How many people cry when they make dua? A very small amount.  For example if you make dua for allah to forgive your sins, If you mean it, then it will come from the heart, and as a result your eyes will begin to fill with tears. and afterwards your heart will fill very different. like it has grown, you are aware of it and it feels clean. then you know you are close to allah. How many men do you knpw cry when they make dua? I have sene little. lol.

So men thinks its a female thing to cry but allah encorages it and also Prophet SAW encouraged it and also cryed often.
Sometimes when a family member passes away or soemone close to the family. The women cry but for example my father etc etc. Hold it isnide i am not saying it is bad to hold it inside. But when you feel that pain inside and you let it go, and express your anguish this is the best time to make dua for that person. Becuase your heart is open and your duas have more meaning to them. This is the best time to make dua to the person who is dead. Men should not be affraid to cry.

Asalaamu alaikum, i think sister the point is that one should not assume because trust me a lot of men do cry in front of Allah but they will never show it and plus one should not reveal their good deeds to anyone else so if they did cry infront of Allah then it between them and Allah that is why most people may be unaware. Like i know MANY people who cry in front of Allah at tahajjud or in their own personal space but do not show others but i do agree that some men do keep it in but im sure they let it out when know ones looking. Quick sneaky cry on their own. Its always good to let it out once in a while trust me.

Men unlike women do cry but they hide it rather than do it infront of others because yes your right in a way they see it as showing themselves to be vulnerable and weak but most men who do cry do not show it to others and i think that is why your assuming like you are but i do agree that it is harder for men to cry than women and that is because men are hard hearted and also another reason we may not cry as much is because of the amount of sin we do which further hardens our heart and that is why we should make dua to Allah for him to soften our hearts because just as a mother tends to her baby when it cries the same way Allah tends to his servants more when his servant cries.
One of my friends told me that when one gets cupping (Hijaamah) done it makes one cry easier. I know for a fact that in ramadhan it is easier for one to cry and get more emotional. Probably because the influenced of shaythan is lessened.

So may Allah give us all the ability to cry to Allah for our sins and in our dua's. Ameen.
Logged

Muslimah21

  • Guest
Re: Masculinity
« Reply #14 on: Jun. 03, 2009, 04:50 PM »

That is very ture.
I have not heard about hijjamah before, i mean making you cry. mashallah. I intend to have some done soon. they opened a few places in london, but it is a bit fo a trek to london from the west country.  ::)



jazakallah khier
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 |   Go Up
 
 



Individual posts do not reflect the views of halfmydeen.org. All trademarks and copyrights are owned by their respective owners.
Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © halfmydeen.org