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Author Topic: Like mother like daughter?  (Read 2089 times)

reeldeel

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Like mother like daughter?
« on: Jun. 21, 2009, 02:29 PM »

I was going to marry a pious sister but my mom didn't allow it after finding out her mothers characteristics. She claimed the daughter will become just like her mother. Do daughters really end up just like their mothers, is it true the apple never falls far from the tree?
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jannah

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #1 on: Jun. 21, 2009, 08:55 PM »

I think some behavior patterns are learned from our parents. But we're never going to be replicas of our parents. Especially those of us who have been raised in a completely different environment and culture being children of immigrants living in the West. I know I have completely different ideas and style and thinking than my mother. We clash often enough. I would hope someone would contemplate marrying me on my personality and characteristics instead of my mother!!!
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Ponderer

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #2 on: Jun. 21, 2009, 10:41 PM »

I must admit I am very different from my mother. We have a great relationship and we know each other very well but that doesn't mean that I am a duplicate of her. Every generation has their own values and outlook on life and this is even more so when the country too is different as Jannah rightly points out.
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Mardiyyah

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #3 on: Jun. 23, 2009, 06:21 AM »

My mother and I are realllllll close walhamdulillah, and we have some things in common. But I dont think that I am like her. And its not true that all girls end up like their mothers. SubhanAllah I know manyyy sisters who are completely different from their mothers, you wouldnt even think they were family.
For example I know a sister who wears the tighest clothes and isnt the practising muslimah she should be ,and her mother??? She is involved with the masjid. So brother  if you find a pious sister, marry her. Because after all you are marrying her and not the mother. If you do however marry a sister  whose mother drives you up the wall, insha Allah find a way you can deal with her.  Good luck.  ;D
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brisingr9

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #4 on: Jun. 29, 2009, 06:47 PM »

sorry to tell this but there is a blacksheep in every family. That doesn't mean the entire family is bad. Allah says marry pious women he didn't ask you enquires about  the girls family. If everyone enquirer family then rarely any sister would be married.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #5 on: Jul. 01, 2009, 10:30 PM »

Yeah Brisinger is right.

I am nothing like my mother, she was born and raised in morocco and i was born and raised in the UK.
I am alot more outgoing then she is and we vary in so many ways. We dotn actually have anything similar. She is more of a person who gets stressed easily whereas i am relaxed and take things as they come. If people met my mother and then me they wouldnt think we were related based on our character.
And when my mother was younger she was always preparing herself for motherhood and beign a housewife, becuase thats all she ever wanted to do. But me i was very different.
So no dont judge people on thier families. A good relatiponship in the family is essential to me, but the character of the parents is nto important only that of my husband.
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reeldeel

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #6 on: Jul. 04, 2009, 05:22 PM »

My sentiments exactly... but shouldnt we consider the fact that we are not just marrying the daughter we are marrying into her family. Wouldn't there be a level of influence on the daughter coming from the mother even after marriage, lets not forget the classic nosy mother in law cliche. It may not happen like that 100% of the time but if its such a cliche then it must be happening most of the time. Therefore you should consider the persons mother. This goes both ways.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #7 on: Jul. 06, 2009, 10:46 PM »

Umm no unless you plan on living with her parents or she is palning on living with yours it should not be an issue. Most people i know who get married often move away from home, from both parents and rarely see them, so there is no influence and little interfernce from the in laws. lol. But if you see that as being an issue for you brother, then that is your preference, for me it does nto matter, as long as i can see that her son is independent and is a man.... not the type who goes running to his mother every 5 mins lol. Who wants to marry someone like that though?? lol.

Anyway like i was saying thats your preference and if you feel that will have an effect on your marriage well thats how you feel, so it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks :D
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justKhan22

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Re: Like mother like daughter?
« Reply #8 on: Jul. 30, 2009, 12:42 AM »

60- 40 chance being like mother i say
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