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Author Topic: Salam sisters :D  (Read 3443 times)

Muslimah21

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Salam sisters :D
« on: Apr. 22, 2009, 12:45 AM »

yeah this is aimed at the sisters, so if you are a brother reading this, stop being sooo nosey!


Anyways just a question for you ladies, what do you do when you feel like given up? When you made dua and you try to be productive in finding the One, but nothing comes of it?
I know we are meant to stay positive and patient, allah always tests us in everythign so why should marriage be different.
But somedays when i finish my prayer i sit and think about it, why hasnt my prayer been answered.... not even close to meeting my soul mate yet :(
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reeldeel

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 08:00 AM »

As a nosey brother being the first to reply to a "sister's only" post 8) I say brothers also feel that way too so why is it for sisters only :P
Good post however... some times I feel just stop thinking about marriage and keep my self busy with other things.. but then if am not actively thinking about it I feel it wont happen.. plus when ever one makes dua you still have to think about it. So you're stuck in a cycle where you don't want to think about it but you must think about it. I guess patience is the only answer.
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layla79

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 22, 2009, 11:21 AM »

TRUE. Patience is the answer.

Allah will give glad tidings to the patient ones.

And I believe in this.  :)
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Muslimah21

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 25, 2009, 01:25 PM »

Yeah i get you Reeldeel, it is a depressing cycle. What makes things worse all my uni mates are getting married and engaged, two of my mates my age are both enaged and getting married over the enxt 2 years. The sisters who i know from uni also 21/22 graduating this year are getting hitched this summer. I am meant to be attending 3 weddings in london... so the thought of it is depressing, although i am sooo happy they have found thier soul mates. Its not nice when it is constantly in yoru face, seeign them soo happy and excited and talkign on forever about thier soul mate, and how they knew they were the one. I am happy for them, but for me it makes me very sad, and i often go home feelign pretty Rubbish about myself.
I hate having it rubbed in my face, they need to be a little more sensative, and then they do the whole: "aww you will find someone... someday"!!! which is even more patronsing!  :'( :'(

 >:(
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reeldeel

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 30, 2009, 07:10 AM »

Yeah I can imagine the feeling it would be horrible especially if you start seeing mates younger than you get married.
Most of my mates are much older than me so I have solace by telling my self "no poblem i'll be married with 5 kids by the time am their age."
Then there are the ones that got a head start marrying at 23. They come around telling me to get married while young so that I can be young enough to be friends and grow with my kids. You tell them its easier said than done and ask for help or advise and all they say is: (am not trying to belittle Dua) " Just Make Dua Brother and inshallah you'll find the right sister"
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Muslimah21

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 30, 2009, 12:12 PM »

Yeah its all well and good making dua. But i think what hits home for me is what allah has said. he only helps those who help themselves. As in if you try and do something good, Like finding a wife and you really try... then inshallah he will help you and make it easier. 

I went to an islamic talk yesterday bout death and in the grave, mashallah it was very emotional and hit home. And afterwards i met with the sisters, met some new sisters i didnt realise we had so many here... and they are all my age.. most of whom i discovered were married or in the process of getting engaged, and i get asked "what about you?" and i dont know what to say anymore i get asked sooo often... i dont know what excuses i can use. Besides i am waiting for my soul mate., and i wont settle for less, but even then it makes me look silly. So i just say not yet im waiting to finish my studies. But even i know thats not true :(

Most of these girls aswell look like models. mashallah they are very pretty waering thier abayas and hijab, even the sister i met in Niqab was beautiful i could tell just from her eyes and she was so elagent... and then i thought no wonder why im not married, these girls are beautiful.!!!!
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reeldeel

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #6 on: Apr. 30, 2009, 07:21 PM »

Yeah its all well and good making dua. But i think what hits home for me is what allah has said. he only helps those who help themselves. As in if you try and do something good, Like finding a wife and you really try... then inshallah he will help you and make it easier. 
Exactly!!! One cant just make dua and sit back, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah" (At-Tirmidhi). But what if you dont know how to tie the camel or even worst theirs nothing to tie it up against other than poisonous trees which it might eat and die. How do I make an effort. I've asked several brothers, an imam, my mum, sister and a few aunts, finally resorted to on-line matrimonial 90 day trial and absolutely useless. My last thread of effort is Halfmydeen to figure things out (some one start a post on all the possible islamic ways a brother can meet a sister and get married).

and i get asked "what about you?" and i dont know what to say anymore
Oh the answer for this one is easy... am waiting for a brother to ask me, immediate answer is always "I cant find a wife bro. You bring me a good muslim sister today and I'll get married tomorrow, cuz am ready willing and able"

... and then i thought no wonder why im not married, these girls are beautiful.!!!!
You always comment on how not so beautiful you are, you cant be that ugly. I'll let you in on a lil secret. The rumour among brothers and general advise is to go to Morocco and find a wife as they've got both deen and beauty dunno if its true cuz i havent been to Morocco yet and the ones married to friends of mine wear Niqab.

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Muslimah21

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #7 on: May. 01, 2009, 12:04 AM »

Im moroccan, but i didnt inherit the good lucks. No im not sayign im ugly. I am happy with what allah gave me. Its just i am plain, i dotn stand out. Im not ugle or pretty im avergae, normal. But some of these sisters i met from pakistan etc etc are stunning like way above average.
I don't have an issue with myself, men have an issue with me lol.

Well what about us sisters reeldeel, we cant exactly go out and have a look. you must understand due to culture women are not meant to be the lookers... we are meant to sit and wait at home. But yes we have the same problem too. Like i said before marriage sites is a no go area for me. I wouldnt use one.

I will say that next time, "i am waitign for a brother to ask me" Well brothers have asked me... but thats after they asked the Hot hijabies... im not first choice for them. But i want to marry a man who sees me only and i am first choice always. not becuase he couldnt get anything better. You know?
Hahaha, *sigh* Allah allam. I dont know what will happen.... what allahs plans are for me.  :-\
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Hamza81

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #8 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 05:03 PM »

Im moroccan, but i didnt inherit the good lucks. No im not sayign im ugly. I am happy with what allah gave me. Its just i am plain, i dotn stand out. Im not ugle or pretty im avergae, normal. But some of these sisters i met from pakistan etc etc are stunning like way above average.
I don't have an issue with myself, men have an issue with me lol.

Well what about us sisters reeldeel, we cant exactly go out and have a look. you must understand due to culture women are not meant to be the lookers... we are meant to sit and wait at home. But yes we have the same problem too. Like i said before marriage sites is a no go area for me. I wouldnt use one.

I will say that next time, "i am waitign for a brother to ask me" Well brothers have asked me... but thats after they asked the Hot hijabies... im not first choice for them. But i want to marry a man who sees me only and i am first choice always. not becuase he couldnt get anything better. You know?
Hahaha, *sigh* Allah allam. I dont know what will happen.... what allahs plans are for me.  :-\

I think sister that the best we can do is make the effort ourselves and make much dua and the rest is upto Allah. We have to have tawakkul and have full hope and reliance on him for is he not the one that pairs up souls and marries them in Jannah before we marry on this earth?

He knows when is the best time for us to get married and if were doing everything we can then let us just have full hope and faith in him and he will take care of everything for us i promise you that!
Don't let shaythan mess around with your mind and try and make you lose hope because all our trust and hope is with Allah and shaythan just wants to decieve us and make us weak but we wil not fall for his tricks and deception because we fully rely in and trust in Allah.

Don't let him put you down and make you think that you are not beautiful and don't compare yourself to others because that is what shaythan wants you to do. We should always compare ourselves to people who are less fortunate than us. Trust me i've come accross  MANY people who have many nasty and debilitating diseases and disfigured faces and bodies so let us be happy that Allah has given us all of our limbs and good health aswell as looks. You may be ugly or average to some but the most beautiful to others. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Those who just go for looks are the ones that will lose out because looks will fade but character and piety remains and that is where true beauty is. External beauty is very short lived and after that the character matters and thats what brings out the true beauty of a person.

Trust me the marriges of those who go for each toher just based on looks don't last long that is why the divorce rate is so high because people marry for the wrong reasons and look for the wrong things.

You will find someone some day that will think of you as the most beautiful women on this earth and ONLY have attraction towards you nd ONLY ever look at you and no other women. That person will come inshallah just let us be patient and have full hope and trust in Allah the almighty.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #9 on: Jun. 03, 2009, 04:45 PM »

Shukran hamza.

that was beautiful, made me cry a little.
Inshallah i will try to think more positive and remind myself of people who are worse off then me.
thank you again

jazakallah khier
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ya_Lateef

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #10 on: Jun. 22, 2009, 02:08 PM »

Wa aleykuma salam .
I would do something to take my mind of it . Like go out with friends or have funtime with family . And then come back with a fresh mind and more optisim that itl all work out ! Theys'e surah al kahf that I absolutely love and its recited by Salah Bukhatir . Its very soothing .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjxZfMw_G1Y&feature=related
 
"Through the difficulties to the stars!" so I remind myself yeah its difficult but it will definetly be worth it! Insha Allah .

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Mardiyyah

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #11 on: Jun. 24, 2009, 12:59 AM »

Sister Muslimah,
I make dua for you that Allah gives you the man of your dreams, like Hamza81 said , you will insha Allah marry the one  who will love you and only look at you. Such men do exist sis and insha Allah, keep asking Allah that he gives you a brother with such excellent character as a husband.  Allah answers our prayers sis, please do not give up.

Forget beauty, like Hamza said, it is the persons character and inner beauty that lasts forever. Good character makes you beautiful. You are not ugly, because no sister or brother is ever ugly.

Man, I read your posts and sometimes I feel like what you are writing is the same things I think of and feel. We have much in common. I'm a 19 year old ,and you know of course that means college. I spoke to my mother about marriage. and what do I get???? FINISH YOUR STUIDES!!!!!  Ugg, like I dont already know that?! But Alhamdulillah for everything. I told my mother. " IF (BY Allahs WILL) a pious brother, whose character is admired, and he is a practising muslim, and has the quailities I want, and who also has the means of supporting me as a wife, you should know my mother, that if he proposed, I would not reject his proposal. She was stunned, and I love my mother, but the prophet (peace be upon him) said, Marry the ones whose character you like ( in other words the one who is religious).

We may want to give up. We  may let ourselves down, but I think we should never forget, that what Allah has in store for us, is even better than what we want. Hope that helped sis. BE POSITIVE!  Beauty is nothing, and if a brother denies you as a wife, because " you're average", he's gonna miss out on alot.
PEACE!  ;D
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Muslimah21

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #12 on: Jul. 01, 2009, 11:37 PM »

Awww mashallah mardiyyah that was very sweet of you. that has made me think alot differently. thank you. Yeap i know we are all in the same boat. I am 22 though and going to graduate in 10months!!! lol. I am going to be livign alone for the first few years of my career, and that is not what i wanted, i wanted to be married so i will not be alone and start my life.
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justKhan22

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #13 on: Jul. 25, 2009, 11:55 PM »

Theyre are ways how to dua i think as well and properly, maybe u can try these ?

I forgotten wht advice was given in terms of this lol

Us brothers have big noses.. i guess
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justKhan22

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Re: Salam sisters :D
« Reply #14 on: Jul. 25, 2009, 11:59 PM »

U should try being mroe pro-active maybe if u can sister in temrs of finding a husband, u knw ask people around u about any brothers looking if so u knw they can maybe inform them thts theyres also a sister looking for a husband.. :)

They're ar ghadeeths which say u should trust in Allah as well as make the effort on ur part tooo.
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