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Some marriage humor...

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jannah:
 :D :) ;D

1)

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, and then when you see

what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
******

2)

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,

"You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied,

"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
******

3)
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

"Husband wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."
******

4)
The bride, upon her engagement,

went to her mother and said,

"I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied,

"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
*****

5)

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
*****

6)
Man is incomplete until he is married.

Then he is finished.
*****

7)
A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied,

"I don't know son, I am still paying."
*****

8)
Young Son: “Is it true, Dad,

I heard that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad: “That happens in every country, son.”

*****

9)
Then there was a man, who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was

until I got married;

and then it was too late."
*****

10)
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
*****

11)
If you want your spouse to listen

and pay strict attention to every word you say,

talk in your sleep.
*****

12)
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when

you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights,

and so does she.
*****

13)
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
*****

14)
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

*****           

15)
The most effective way to remember

your wife's birthday is

to forget it once.
*****

16)
Words to live by:

Do not argue with a spouse

who is packing your  parachute.
*****

17)
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
****

18)
Women will never be equal to men

until they can walk down the street

with a baldhead and a beer gut,

and still think they are beautiful.

Muslimah21:
hahahaahahahahahahahahahha..... hahahahahaa.. hahaha... OMG that so hilarious  :D :D :D :D
 :)

halfmydeen:
A married couple in their early 60's are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary

in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being

loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish. The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female.....

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