This is an excellent question. Salaamu alaikum btw.
When it comes to mascunlinity, I think what makes a can masculine, is how he meets his responsiblities. It terms of loving his wife, caring for his children, and of course supporting them. What makes a man masculine is his strength. I dont mean physically strong ( although its good, he can help move things around the house
), but rather if he is mentally strong. And by this I mean if he is patient and can control his anger. Also if he can relate with his wife and understand her. Like the sister Muslimah said, I like a man who cries. Now I dont want him crying all the time I would be depressed lol. But if he cries out of fear of his lord. Not only would that attract me, but it would also increase my love for him.
I will only answer the first part of your question if you dont mind