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Author Topic: What is love?  (Read 3183 times)

Anonymous

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What is love?
« on: May. 26, 2009, 10:22 PM »

Hey guys,

I may sound very naive but can someone please explain to me what love (with a spouse) feels like? This is just so that I know what to look out for. People have approached me for marriage but I have turned them down because I didn't feel strongly about them. Do you just marry a suitable match and then wait for love to grow or do you fall in love and then get married? And how do you fall in love? Does it just happen? I am baffled!

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Muslimah21

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #1 on: May. 27, 2009, 06:16 PM »

Salam

no you are not being naive alot of people ask that.
But to be honest with you... love in islam comes after you get married.
Yes its true there are people, people i know too who have that spark when they first meet. But it is not love.
The reason i say that is becuase, you never truely love that person or appreciate that person until you live with them, in a marriage sharign responisibilties Then love grows.

Before marriage it is called Lust which is what everyone feels when they first meet someone, if you are attracted to them then you feel alll sorts of emotions (Not goin to say all of them lol) But that goes away, and most of the time you are left with nothing.
Lust feels like love but it is superficial. From what i have seen of people, even muslims getting married becuase of thier lust for one another and they cant control themselves. And they get married and once togther and after the honeymoon period when they have to start acting like a marreid couple and cater to one another it goes down hill.
If you marry a person for the right reason, and you go in with an open mind and realsie you are not perfect yourself love will grow and it will be amazing. Not superfical crap you see on TV or when you see kuffar dating, thats all superficial and wont last.
I am talking about love that will still be there when you are old and gray and everything has gone south lol.

And when you love a person for the sake of alalh, you can not go wrong.
Even if you spend years getting to know that person before you get married and you "Date" you will never truely understand what real love is and what it means to be with that person. When you get married then you will know. But of course you need to have a spark something to get you to marriage and then from there it grows.

I am not saying marry someone who you have nothing in common with or you not attracted to. But be honest with yourself why is it that you are actually marrying this person, for allah, for companionship to love someone. Or is it becuase you are hormonal and full of lust.
Seriously the amount of times i used to hear my non muslim friends say they were in love.. i cant count the number of times i heard it. Even to this day they are still in that game of lust and then breakup. Nothing more comes out of it. They call it love but if it was love they would be married to them lol. I do feel sorry for them. Becuase most of them have children out of marriage adn have no real support all becuase they made the wrong choices in life. But alhamdulilah allah has saved us from that. He only wants us to experince pure love that lasts.


 
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Anonymous

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #2 on: May. 28, 2009, 08:33 AM »

Hey guys,

I may sound very naive but can someone please explain to me what love (with a spouse) feels like? This is just so that I know what to look out for. People have approached me for marriage but I have turned them down because I didn't feel strongly about them. Do you just marry a suitable match and then wait for love to grow or do you fall in love and then get married? And how do you fall in love? Does it just happen? I am baffled!



I think only a married person can answer that. Any married people on the forum can answer this interesting question??
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Anonymous

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #3 on: May. 28, 2009, 07:47 PM »

As-Salaamu` alaykum,
Dear Sister,
I'd recommend that you listen to this talk if you speak Arabic, it basically answers all of your questions.

http://www.4shared.com/file/88890209/2aeb5b71/Moez__El-Saqia_2122009.html?s=1

Take care,
W`salaam

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Siham

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  • Posts: 6
Re: What is love?
« Reply #4 on: May. 28, 2009, 07:48 PM »

As-Salaamu` alaykum,
Dear Sister,
I'd recommend that you listen to this talk if you speak Arabic, it basically answers all of your questions.

http://www.4shared.com/file/88890209/2aeb5b71/Moez__El-Saqia_2122009.html?s=1

Take care,
W`salaam
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Anonymous

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #5 on: May. 28, 2009, 09:42 PM »

Do they havea  translation? or a talk similar to that??
It would be interesting to listen too.
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Siham

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #6 on: May. 29, 2009, 04:58 PM »

As-Salaamu` alaykum,
Unfortunatly, I don't have a translation on this talk or anything similar to it:(

Peace!
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Anonymous

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Re: What is the protocol for marriage?
« Reply #7 on: Aug. 25, 2009, 05:22 PM »

I met this guy and he is looking for a wife. I have informed him that I am not available for marriage until Dec 2009. He claims to be a devout Muslim but seems very fishy to me. He want to come stay in my home (sleeping in another room of course). I refused, he wants me to pay half his way to visit (he is America just in another state). I refused. He also says that the men aren't supposed to take full responsibility of the finances in the home and that bills would be mutually paid by both parties. I partially agreed. Also He asks will you do as I say?  To that I say no, He could ask me to jump off a bridge does that mean do it?...no way!

I guess what I'm asking is: How is a woman supposed to take marriage seriously if the man inquiring about it is a joke? Why is it that although Islam is easy that the women end up marrying men who try to enslave them. Why is it that the newer Muslim men think that the women are to take care of them? I mean really What's up with that?

Marriage is half our deen but what good is completing it if you are unhappy? And how often do you marry before you get the right one. Finally, if you marry the 1st time and it doesn't work...you marry someone else and it doesn't work, why marry the 1st one again when it didn't work the first time?
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Anonymous

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #8 on: Feb. 16, 2010, 05:29 PM »

I think its best to do istikhara -where u ask allah for help in making a decision and istihaja-where u ask the people of knowledge ,

I just realised theprevious week tht we should love ALLah first givee him the most love in our lives as hes the most worth it. INshllah wht comes in the future comes :)
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SisterGirl

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Re: What is the protocol for marriage?
« Reply #9 on: Feb. 26, 2010, 08:34 PM »

He want to come stay in my home - Uh no

he wants me to pay half his way to visit - absolutely not

He also says that the men aren't supposed to take full responsibility of the finances in the home - That's a lie, no again

He asks will you do as I say? -Uh maybe he should get a dog and teach it tricks

How is a woman supposed to take marriage seriously if the man inquiring about it is a joke?
Dear, he may not be joking. Some people are seriously crazy. If you feel that someone is not the right fit for you, or joking when you are serious, move on. Life is too short, dont waste your time. Good luck.  :)

I met this guy and he is looking for a wife. I have informed him that I am not available for marriage until Dec 2009. He claims to be a devout Muslim but seems very fishy to me. He want to come stay in my home (sleeping in another room of course). I refused, he wants me to pay half his way to visit (he is America just in another state). I refused. He also says that the men aren't supposed to take full responsibility of the finances in the home and that bills would be mutually paid by both parties. I partially agreed. Also He asks will you do as I say?  To that I say no, He could ask me to jump off a bridge does that mean do it?...no way!

I guess what I'm asking is: How is a woman supposed to take marriage seriously if the man inquiring about it is a joke? Why is it that although Islam is easy that the women end up marrying men who try to enslave them. Why is it that the newer Muslim men think that the women are to take care of them? I mean really What's up with that?

Marriage is half our deen but what good is completing it if you are unhappy? And how often do you marry before you get the right one. Finally, if you marry the 1st time and it doesn't work...you marry someone else and it doesn't work, why marry the 1st one again when it didn't work the first time?
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humararishta

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Re: What is love?
« Reply #10 on: Sep. 23, 2011, 06:36 AM »

Love is beautiful think when u alone anywhere and you think about this person who you like there is no one in front of your eyes but you can see that person anywhere talk about that person every time to your self so that mean you are in love with some one.
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