Firstly, a good enough amount of saudis are shia' to say that not all saudis are sunni. They mostly live in cities closer to Kuwait. My dad in Canada even rented a room once to a saudi shia'. The guy was celebrating at the death of Saddam Hussien (besides the point of the topic). About your suggestion for me to read from other sects, in sha Allah. Urfi marriage is practiced by sunnis but not not acccepted by the sunnah. It doesn't have all the conditions stated for a marriage to be accepted.
Do you even know exactly what an orfi marriage is? If you did, then you wouldn't be saying that it is something "accepted" by sunnis. Rather, it is just like certain acts muslims do which we so is not taught by Islam and they claim to be doing them in the name of jihad. Not every act of fighting done by muslims is jihad, and not every act of marriage done be Muslims (sunni or shia) is marriage, even if they claim it to be.
What is urfi "marriage":
"marriage" that takes place without a wali for the sister (gaurdian) and done in secret usually ending or beginning with the recitation of al-fatihah.
So since Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali (guardian)," Urfi "marriage" is infact invalid and IS zina. About the hanafis, then the differences amongst them is little and at least they don't claim the marriage to be temporary like the shia do. A person that marries with the intention of divorce and states that at the contract is not married and is fornicating because he never came to the house through it's door since that condition is not valid and makes the nikaah invalid.
Even if two christians got married in christianity and became Muslims we don't say they need to make a new nikah. But al-urfi, al-mu3ta and anything else done by Muslims is not valid by the Law of the Qur'an and Sunnah. So those that practice al-urfi and al-mut3a can have intimate relations, but they are doing zina a Major sin, may Allah protect us.
My point from the beginning was about marrying without the intention of having a "temporary" marriage (false marriage). The longest a man is allowed to be away from his wife is 4 months. If she agrees for him to be away longer than it is halaal, otherwise he has to come back or she picks between being patient or divorce. Sure it would be ideal to be with the person from day one still reality is sometimes even people after marriage might have to be away from each other for a while but by then they keep in touch etc. and don't get divorced...
It might be unbearable for you, but not it isn't for all sisters. Marriage is about bringing tranquility to peoples souls, body and mind. If that type of circumstance will make you uneasy and unsecure about what your husband is doing to the point you'll be afraid about your own faithfulness to the other partner then yes, you shouldn't get nto those circumstances. Otherwise, know that good things come to those that are patient.