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sheikh87

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Re: A question
« Reply #30 on: Oct. 24, 2009, 03:17 PM »

Sister, I'm 22, was that directed to me. haha.

---------:S
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Muslimah21

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Re: A question
« Reply #31 on: Oct. 24, 2009, 09:31 PM »

No i said 22 becuase i am 22... I don't even know how old you are.
And it was an example Becuase men have the matuirty  2-3 years younger then there age.  Whereas a girl is usually 2/3 years older. SO marrying a 22 year old brother is like he is 19/20, which means he is still very imature and probably a mummies boy. :S :S

 ??? ??? 
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sheikh87

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Re: A question
« Reply #32 on: Oct. 24, 2009, 11:10 PM »

K just making sure...

Yes, okay, it's true.

About marrying somebody older. I don't know if it is just maturity...I think we can all admit that usually an older person has more $$$, is done studying etc. which usually = a more stable life/settling.

if you remove all the factors of $$ etc. etc. haha, then I say that it's true that a man or woman is not FULLY develop[ed until later on, but marriage/.all responsibilities make a person mature faster if they are truthful to their lives. So in the end, follow your heart, as they say.
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JenBean71

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Re: A question
« Reply #33 on: Oct. 25, 2009, 04:21 AM »

Mashallah I was 21 when I got married  :D and had my first bebe when I was 22. Good age :) May Allah bless you both with righteous spouses, ameen
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Muslimah21

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Re: A question
« Reply #34 on: Oct. 25, 2009, 09:50 AM »

Well maybe that is true for some people..But i do not care about £££ i care about what is on the inside. I would never marry for money i dont know what sort of sisters you know. but dont label everyone that way. But if i could marry a 22 year old and he was mature then i would. but they dotn tend to be. i knwo i have two older brothers. One is 30 and he is just now finally growing up and the other is 25 and he is still a bit of a kid. I have alot of men in my family. alot of cousins ar ound my age so i can see it for myself how they act etc etc.

I am mature enough i have been ready since i was 20. just havnt met anyone who is mature and who is religious. They have all been quiet weak in there deen and i dont want that at all. Even though they have been nice people thier religion is lacking. But perhaps i could do what you said Shiekh.... Get married and mold them ??? hahaha no becuase i know you can not change a person, a person will only be chnaged and guided by who?? not thier husband is it. Only by allah! SO i wouldnt marry a guy and think to myself.. oh he will change, astagfirallah that is only by the will of allah.

Yes sisterJenbean its good to marry young especially for women as we mature quicker and we want the family more then men tend to. Ansd i would of loved to been married when i was 21 but its in Allahs hands and he knows what best for me... maybe its becuase havnt met my soul mate yet and i shouldnt just settle for anyone.
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sheikh87

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Re: A question
« Reply #35 on: Oct. 25, 2009, 10:06 AM »

Salam alaykom,

I don't know sisters, I'm in saudi Arabia, where am I going rto know sisters in a segregated country.

But when I hear a sister say she won' t marry a person unless he is specifically over 30 it makes me wonder I heard of something like that before). Because I don't necessarily match a persons maturity to their age but I do see how age can mean that a person has gone through experiences and is accustomed to more life experiences. As for personality, that doesn't necassarily need age...In other words, I am trying to say that a person can be more mature and perhaps more compatable then somebody older. But that requires maturity on both sides I guess. Maturity is more important to me than age...within reasonable limits.

I never said anything about molding sister. Is that how it came off as? I meant and still mean that a man needs to a woman that will respect his decisions as a husband and man regardless as if she religiously takes the same ways. For example, the father wants his children to go to Qur'anic school and she is christian, a good wife will accept it and even wake up the kids for salah. I wouldn't marry a hchristian ever because muslimaat come first. But I hope the point is clear now. Religion and love both keep people happy  together, not one without the other.
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JenBean71

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Re: A question
« Reply #36 on: Oct. 25, 2009, 06:43 PM »

Asalam alaikum shiekh87 ~

I would prefer someone older because I'm almost 40. A younger brother may have everything in maturity and personality but he is still somebody's baby and I wouldn't want his parents to be upset of disapprove. But if they were ok with it then maybe.

The Prophet (SAS) is the best example for us, mashallah Khadijah.
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Muslimah21

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Re: A question
« Reply #37 on: Oct. 26, 2009, 09:15 PM »

Subhanallah you have said alot Shiekh and you have forgotten what you have said  ::) ::)

Anyway I didnt say a man has to be 30 but the general trend is the lder the more mature and it makes sense. Although i have met some who have been yonger and have been mature they are rare and hard to find. Especially now in this day and age. Where mothers mother thier sons until they get married.  ??? ???

Yes mashallah Khadijah is a great example but the prophet was the closest thing to perfect Mashallah.
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sheikh87

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Re: A question
« Reply #38 on: Oct. 28, 2009, 12:14 AM »

Asalam alaikum shiekh87 ~

I would prefer someone older because I'm almost 40. A younger brother may have everything in maturity and personality but he is still somebody's baby and I wouldn't want his parents to be upset of disapprove. But if they were ok with it then maybe.

The Prophet (SAS) is the best example for us, mashallah Khadijah.

wa alaykom assalam
wise statements. some say a man doesn't reach full wisdom until the age of 40 and they have a verse in teh qur'an they use to support that idea.

Yea, it was a deep relationship they had and she supported him alot in his good times and his tough times (saws).
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Muslimah21

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Re: A question
« Reply #39 on: Oct. 28, 2009, 01:01 AM »

 :-\
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