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Author Topic: Speaking to more than one prospect at once  (Read 4090 times)

Eemo

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Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« on: Sep. 15, 2009, 12:21 AM »

Does anyone know of any asool regards the man, as to how many prospects he can speak to at once?

The reason i ask is because several years ago, i knew of a brother, who was speaking to a few prospects at once and he told me that it was permissible. Is that correct?

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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #1 on: Sep. 19, 2009, 02:17 PM »

Noooooo

Oh dear god. You can nto do that. Once a person is interested in you and you in them. and you meet to discuss things no one else whould approach you or make it known to you that they are interested. Ummm i cant remember where i read it but alot of lectures i have been to the shiekhs say a man can not approach another woman while he is enquiring into a another woman and he may not show interest to a woman who has already been appraoched, until they decide what to do. so for example if the brother and sister decide to part ways then the other brother and go to her father. and vise versa. but if they are continuing thier meetings and getting to knwo one another then people should back off.


What happens if two girls liek him... then he has to tell the other a lie. or even worse break a girls heart.
I know of a moroccan brother who did this. had no intention of marrying a non moroccan but he proposed to several asian girls at unviersity and one of them he was engaged too and her parents were not all for it as he was moroccan. so he had to be serious. then he ended up saying no to her and went and married a freshi from morocco :S
This is an iexample of the fine specimens that morocco has to offer lol. But the point is see one girl at a time. then move on.
i not only know its not islamic but also morally wrong. who would do that?? i thought only this particular moroccan man but it appears that muslim men are not that intelligent and are a little selfish.
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Eemo

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #2 on: Sep. 20, 2009, 12:57 AM »

lol. Whoa horsey. Why does everyone assume that just because i've asked the question, that im the one that is in this position or intending.

Take a deep breath and relax :p
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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #3 on: Sep. 21, 2009, 11:08 AM »

hahahahahaaa.
i didnt mean YOU. i mean you as in general. dotn worry its how i talk lol. But i meant foever does this is insane. lol.
Ok maybe i should of made it clearer. i didnt mean you ok Eemo.

I should hope you havnt done this lol :D
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Eemo

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #4 on: Sep. 22, 2009, 10:47 AM »

:)
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jannah

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #5 on: Sep. 23, 2009, 10:18 PM »

I don't see any problem with 'talking', if it's just that in it's initial stages and not 'proposing to two at once'. But I mean how would you like it if a girl you were talking to was talking to multiple guys and you never knew. I mean if you both are fine with talking to multiple people it's up to you, if both people know and are aware about it I don't see any issues with it. 

*you meaning anyone
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sheikh87

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #6 on: Sep. 25, 2009, 05:49 AM »

Freedom of expression is sooo beautiful:)

how are you going to buy a laptop without comparing it with another one? (I mean how are you gonna pick a man without comparing your options...as for a wife, than it's called Polygamy;) )

if my sister saw me writing this she'll say I am objectifying women. No philosophy please. Marriage is a life decision,  you gotta make a good one!

 :'( :'( :'( :'( so many people out there, gotta pick the right one :'( :'( :'( :'(
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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #7 on: Sep. 26, 2009, 11:42 AM »

hahaha thats too funny.

seriously you meet one person yeah. chat with them and see what you think of one another then make the choice. If its no then move onto the next girl and part ways. do not cling onto her and then meet the enxt one and comapre notes. Astagfirallah. if i knew a brother was doing that i would not take him seriously and think he was nothign else but a player and deffo not marriage material. Be a man make a choice, cowardly actions are not a good thing incase the men didnt know.

I would never do that, i have had proposals and i dont leave them hanging. and i do nto collect a few then go throught them pickign the "best one" astagfirallah what sort fo woman would i be????
Crazy people
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sheikh87

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #8 on: Sep. 27, 2009, 01:19 AM »

okay, since you replied to me i have to say something controversial and useful:).


All I will say is, if somebody that seems like he is worth your time  expresses interest and comes appropriately (through the right door too), are you going to not consider talking to that person because you already have somebody your interested in? And before you answer, remember, this is before you or anybody else has been engaged.

I agree somewhat with what you said...with no but's either.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #9 on: Sep. 27, 2009, 05:25 PM »

No my values will make me say no.
Becuase i am talkign to someone and until i make a decision about our future i would not talk to anyone else or accept any proposals. Becuase even though we are nto engaged. if that person follows islam properly he will still make intention for marriage. and when that person makes the intention with that girl/boy then you cant engage in chit chat with others.
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sheikh87

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #10 on: Sep. 27, 2009, 11:09 PM »

:)

your right....

i think that...

sister the sister said, a sister should only talk to one guy at a time...but if she was talking to another guy then like jannah said, if both are okay with it, then okay...but if they don't know then it is wierd.

as for a brother, then if he wants to only have one wife than it is wrong. but if he is trying to practice the sunnah of polygamy, then now, what do you suggest 8)
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sheikh87

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #11 on: Sep. 28, 2009, 05:41 AM »

re-thinking about all of this, I've come to realize that alot of people of sin (fornication and adultery) exist out there. That's why you find liars proposing and deceiving. The understanding of marriage in a muslim or muslimah's life is not supposed to be the same as the way kuffar understand it.

May Allah bless us all with pious spouses
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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #12 on: Sep. 29, 2009, 12:14 AM »

Exactimondo brother.

the way we see marriage and treat marriage is different from kuffar. we must give people thier rights and have respect. chit chatting with every single person is nto respectful and inconsiderate of the other persons feelings. You cant be a good muslim and be selfsih.... dont work does it.
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sheikh87

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #13 on: Sep. 29, 2009, 01:32 AM »

are you calling me a bad muslim just because I am selfish??
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Muslimah21

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Re: Speaking to more than one prospect at once
« Reply #14 on: Sep. 29, 2009, 10:52 AM »

i didnt say bad just not a very good one lol 
And i wasnt even talking about you, you took that comment as personal when i was talking in general terms. (tsss men!)  :D :D
??? ??? ???
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