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Author Topic: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???  (Read 4576 times)

reeldeel

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Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« on: Dec. 29, 2009, 01:17 PM »

I had a conversation/argument with my uncle where he insisted there are many pious women I can marry who don’t necessarily where the proper hijab because it’s not their culture and/or they never grew up in a society/community that wears proper hijab. So my question is:

Have you ever come across a sister who is very religious but doesn’t wear proper hijab?

Could it be that she’s very pious but doesn’t know the importance of proper hijab?

Note: proper =
  • Covers entire body except face and hands
  • It must not be transparent, revealing what is underneath it
  • Her dress must not be too tight so as to define the parts of her body, especially its curves, even though it may not be transparent.
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Eemo

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #1 on: Dec. 30, 2009, 01:13 PM »

In my personal experience, i think it's a little unrealistic to expect that every sister you meet that is in Hijab will understand what 'being covered' really means.

I think, as long as she covers her head, is chaste, modest about her appearance and doesn't freely mix, you're off to a very good start considering the present circumstances.


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SisterGirl

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #2 on: Dec. 30, 2009, 11:43 PM »

I had a conversation/argument with my uncle where he insisted there are many pious women I can marry who don’t necessarily where the proper hijab because it’s not their culture and/or they never grew up in a society/community that wears proper hijab. So my question is:

Have you ever come across a sister who is very religious but doesn’t wear proper hijab?

Could it be that she’s very pious but doesn’t know the importance of proper hijab?

Note: proper =
  • Covers entire body except face and hands
  • It must not be transparent, revealing what is underneath it
  • Her dress must not be too tight so as to define the parts of her body, especially its curves, even though it may not be transparent.

Have you ever come across a sister who is very religious but doesn’t wear proper hijab?
No. if the sister was very religious then it means she has learned her religion. She knows what her religion teaches and follows those teachings. If she did not follow them she would not be very religious.Again as I have stated in a previous post, I can not think of any sister that I know personally who does not wear hijab, but prays on a daily basis. So if she is not also praying, which often goes hand in hand with not covering that does not give you a pious sister. Again, Muslim men can fool themselves into believing what they want so they can grab up some sister who is not covering and say ohh, but she is soooo pious. Sure. If she is not faithful to her Lord and does not follow his commandments, you would be an absolute fool* to think that she will be faithful to you, or obedient to you. But as you and I know there are many men out there who will wager their souls on beauty, and are absolutely fooling themselves. 

Could it be that she’s very pious but doesn’t know the importance of proper hijab?
No.  Wrong choice of words, very pious means she has knowledge of deen. Could it be that she is Muslim but does not know the importance of proper hijab? Yes. But you still have a responsibility to educate yourself about what you claim to believe. Our belief is not just in our hearts but in our actions, that is why we physically have to bow down and Glorify our Lord. Our entire body must submit to Allah and his commandments. It does not matter if you were not raised covering or that is not apart of your culture. On the day of judgment will sisters from certain cultures sins not be weighed because that particular belief was not in their cultural traditions? For people with that argument their culture is then their religion, if that is what you allow to dictate your actions. I knew a sister from pakistan who did not cover or pray most of her life, she said it was just taken for granted as part of the culture and not seen so much as a daily religious obligation. When she got college age she started to learn more about Islam and started covering and praying.
Free will. There are plenty of non-Muslims who have entirely different cultures and religions and abandon it all and accept Islam. So....the culture argument for Muslims,  not buying it.


*not you personally(obviously)
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jannah

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #3 on: Dec. 31, 2009, 03:03 AM »

Sorry to disagree with Muslimgirl but I know many many sisters who are deeply dedicated to Islam, pray all 5 prayers, fast, are active in the community but do not wear hijab for some reason or another. This would have included me a number of years ago before I started wearing it! There are many complicated reasons why a sister might not be wearing hijab.

If you reeldeel are interested in such a sister it's probably a good idea to find out why she doesn't wear hijab. Is it a cultural reason? Does she believe it's not fard? She never thought about it? Or is she feeling weak and not really ready yet?

Then you can decide what you wish to do. It might be that you find that a sister who is already wearing hijab more comfortable for you to marry.
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Eemo

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #4 on: Dec. 31, 2009, 11:31 AM »

I'm with SisterGirl on this one. I was thinking those things, but didnt want to say it, since im on the other side of the fence. Glad it was a sister that said it.

I've spoken to two sisters in the past few months that were considered religious but were not in Hijab. With both of them, there was something that came out of the mix eventually.

It would be disrespectful, if i said what it was, but either way, for a sister that isnt in Hijab and says shes religious is just fooling you.

Same goes for one that is in Hijab but free-mixes. Somehow, they think covering their head gives them a free passport to do whatever they want. Big Mistake.
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reeldeel

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #5 on: Dec. 31, 2009, 02:44 PM »

So if she is not also praying, which often goes hand in hand with not covering that does not give you a pious sister.
Many cultures that have embraced islam have stuck to their ways of dressing. In extreme cases they may not cover at all, while in other cases its not proper hijab. The halfway or transparent hijab with hair showing or proper head covering with tight clothing. I personally know a lot of family members who dont cover properly but pray all their prayers. Another thing is, prayer is more emphasized in the deen, most of these family members I know do believe that if you dont pray, you are out of the religion. Though I coveringt doesent go hand in hand with praying, it does go hand in hand with a certain level of piety am looking for in a woman that will certainly determine the level of faithfulness and obedience I require. You're right only a fool with choose the beautiful, unfaithful, disobedient woman.

In my personal experience, i think it's a little unrealistic to expect that every sister you meet that is in Hijab will understand what 'being covered' really means.
Do you take this back then?

If you reeldeel are interested in such a sister it's probably a good idea to find out why she doesn't wear hijab. Is it a cultural reason? Does she believe it's not fard? She never thought about it? Or is she feeling weak and not really ready yet?
No Jannah... its not that I have met such a sister, its just that I cant meet any sisters because of the hijab criteria, and i've been told am being unrealistic, and am making it difficult (if not impossible) for family members to find anyone for me. So... i've been thinking perhaps I am expecting too much...dunno. I can try as you say asking why they dont wear hijab, but I fear they may lie about it in order to get married. Perhaps they might even believe they can change after marriage but only to find out wearing hijab is more difficult theyn they thought. If they were never wearing it ???????? it would be hypocrisy to wear it for me.
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Eemo

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #6 on: Jan. 01, 2010, 02:12 PM »

What i'm saying is, if she covers her head, its a good start. My friend got married to someone who was covering her head only, but now a year after marriage she is in Jilbab etc. You just need  a good foundation to start with. Just dont go after someone that wears the hijab as a fashion statement.
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Yaseen88

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #7 on: Jan. 01, 2010, 10:26 PM »

How can you be religious & on the other hand not wear Hijab ?

There is a contradiction.

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jannah

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #8 on: Jan. 03, 2010, 11:54 AM »

How can you be religious & on the other hand not wear Hijab ?

There is a contradiction.



How can you be religious and do some of the things you are doing? That goes for everyone. No one is perfect. If you're looking for someone perfect you will either a. never get married b. marry an illusion and be bitterly disappointed later.
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Yaseen88

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #9 on: Jan. 03, 2010, 04:45 PM »

No one is perfect, neither am i.

Hijab is a order of Allah swt !!!
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khadija

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #10 on: Mar. 04, 2010, 12:48 AM »

Is hijab a big deal? It depends on you. How do you define hijab? How much of an impact does it have on your life?

Is it possible to not wear a hijab and still be a good muslimah? Or conversely, is it possible to wear a hijab and not be a good muslimah? Yes and yes.

Hijab is just one part of the deen. Its not even one of the five pillars of Islam. Yes, modesty is an important part of Islam, I'm not denying that. I'm just pointing out that that being a good muslim is multifaceted. Some people may be strong on one part than on another.

Also, people have varying understanding about what is the proper way of maintaining modest, including proper manners of dress. Some people understand it as wearing a full covering leaving only the eyes unveiled, while others believe loose clothing to be sufficient as there is no specific mention of head covering in the Quran.

However you feel about the issue of hijab, lets remember not to judge someone else's piousness. What's not the outside (including hijab) is not nearly as important as what's on the inside. And the inside is much harder to see.
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justayan

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #11 on: Mar. 11, 2010, 08:50 PM »

proper hijab? accepting the Islamic religion but not covering... is that being a hypocrite?

well, If she is religious then she should understand the importance of wearing a proper hijab and practice it. Personally, I haven't come across a pious women who didn't wear a proper hijab. This doesn't mean that all those women that choice not to wear a proper hijab...are not religious. There are numerous Muslim women that choice not to wear a proper hijab...But that doesn't make it right.

I think in today's society...people are gradually accepting this concept of life. It's really sad and it will only lead to misguided individuals. Once you choice not to wear proper garments, then slowly...you might choice not pray regularly or fast, etc...if u don't practice the religion then it only leads to forgetfulness.

On the other hand...there are those women who cover properly but they do not behave properly??? :(

the hijab is not just about covering but also the behavior, manners, etc. the proper hijab is one of the ways of demonstrating that as a Muslim woman...the acceptance of Allah (SWT), the quran, and  his messangers.

this is a highly debatable topic...

PERSONAL ADVICE: look at the behavior of the woman, her manners in public and private,etc ..inshallah khair she will come to accept wearing the proper hijab...maybe you could be the good influence in her life and teach her the right way.
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reeldeel

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #12 on: Mar. 13, 2010, 06:02 PM »

perhaps its a matter of how religious a person is. If the sahaba scored 100% in Islam, we are nowhere near the perfect score. there are definatly different levels of hijab wearing and only one of them gets 100%. Some brothers may not mind the 51% Muslim sister he met at the club since he's only at 51.3% himself. Of course its not just hijab that makes one pious, but But righteousness is deffinatly an infleuncing factor in hijab wearing.
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ilmseeker

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #13 on: Mar. 25, 2010, 04:04 PM »

All Praise be to Allah (swt),

I think that there are a number of factors that are at play, one being the lack of knowledge. This is why gaining religious knowledge is obligatory especially in matters relating to our aqeedah and authentic creed. Someone would say to me, "Really?" I would reply, "Yes, really". They would say "I believe in Allah (swt), the Prophet (pbuh), am a good person and don't hurt others - that's all I need to believe". I would reply "Noooooo... How and when do you we know that we are not doing something that is completely negating our aqeedah?... Yes, there is a multitude of factors that take us out of the fold of Islam while claiming to be muslim and we can protect ourselves from them by gaining knowledge!"

To make it short. Knowledge brings the love and fear of Allah (swt) and the importance of loving and following the Prophet (pbuh)'s sunnah according to the understanding of the righteous predecessors. Once a sister has taqwa of Allah (swt), she becomes mindful that Allah (swt) is watching her every move, every thought, every turn, every look, every intention, every everything. If she prays for guidance and if Allah (swt) wills, she will get guidance and with it will come the love to obey the orders of Allah (swt) including the wearing of the jalbab/hijah/niqab properly.

If a sister doesn't wear or properly wear hijab, she may not have the complete knowledge or proper understanding of it. For example, every single time non mahram men look at her accidentally, intentionally, lustfully enjoying every look, she gains a sin for every single gaze by those men. Imagine, walking down the street, men looking at a sister up and down, front and behind, she cannot comprehend the thousands of sins being added to her book of deeds. Inshallahu tala, if anyone is interested, I can provide textual evidence from the Quran and authentic Hadiths.

May Allah (swt) give us all guidance and protect us from the whispers of the Shayateen. Ameen
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The Lion

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Re: Hijab.. A BIG DEAL???
« Reply #14 on: Jul. 02, 2010, 07:25 AM »

For example, every single time non mahram men look at her accidentally, intentionally, lustfully enjoying every look, she gains a sin for every single gaze by those men. Imagine, walking down the street, men looking at a sister up and down, front and behind, she cannot comprehend the thousands of sins being added to her book of deeds. Inshallahu tala, if anyone is interested, I can provide textual evidence from the Quran and authentic Hadiths.

Salams,

I am interested in the textual evidence from the Quran and Authentic Hadiths.

WSalam.
The Lion.
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