Again as another poster was talking about in another thread, we need to follow the Sunnah when searching for a spouse. If we are not following the Sunnah, expect to encounter difficulty. The sunnah does not say marry a woman whose mother has a character to your liking. What is the daughters character? Maybe its too late for that girl but for the next one please keep the Sunnah in mind. I think what some people in your family are doing is just pulling you away from what could be a posative relationship. You cant jump on every issue and make it a huge deal or the reson to break things off. If you listen to your mom and aunties for every girl you may never get married. They want the perfect girl for you because they love you. News Flash, there are no perfect women. You have to look at the whole package, that person overall. Does the good far out weigh the bad? And that girls mother not having good characteristics is not a bad trait of the GIRL. She has no control over what her mom does. What were the bad characteristics the girl had that you couldn't live with?
And no, just because your mother is one way does not mean you will be anything like her. I love my mom but are personalities are nothing alike. I am my own person and she is her own person period. When I was married she was not in the middle of things at all, parents care, sometimes she gave advice when I asked, but she was not mean to my husband or trying to be in the middle. If you take a look at all of the criteria that me and some other sisters here have complained that men have for a wife, then add the fact that you are now looking at my mother to evaluate me also, I might as well start collecting cats and prepare for a life alone. Stop looking for the "PERFECT" situation, you will never find it.