I was reading a website that was posted up on this forum http://practimate.com/blog/your-biggest-obstacle-to-marriage-women-25-30/
, the practimate website where sisters were being asked what was their biggest obstacle to getting married. One sister wrote:
"the reason that I am not married until now is because since birth I was born with a disability, I couldn't walk, now I can & it has left me with a slight limp with a leg length discrepancy (you probably thinking so what - no1’s perfect..)Thats what I thought until I had to go through heartbreak after heartbreak, proposals breaking off: The reason “Im not perfect enough” “What will my friends say if we walk down the road” “my mother does’nt think you perfect enough” I know I said it doesn't matter,but know, after thinking, it does...So obviously this has left a feeling of being used and hurt but most of all I felt my mothers pain...I cannot and will not put myself through it is what I told myself. I told them that it is what is in the heart that counts and Allah looks at your heart. Having a limp doesn't make me any less of a person I am still Allah’s creation… As time went by my focus has changed I have become closer to Allah & I said to Allah - Ya Allah my life's purpose is to be a complete muslim, to be a good wife,mother and daughter in law and only you can answer my duas so I leave it in your hands - Inshallah when the time is right I believe Allah will send him. Everyone has their partner in this dunya.. Ameen."
I read this and thought about how beautiful people can be.
This post really struck a chord with me because I too have a disability, it is not severe, but it is apparent and does make things difficult when it comes to marriage. I feel there is no place for people who are a little bit out of the ordinary: you have to have the right looks, height, weight, skin colour and occupation/education even to be considered. It is almost like a competitive job application. If you don't fulfill the criteria you are excluded. What I have learnt from my disability, however, is that life has so much to offer and people have so much to offer. If we go beyond the superficial maybe we will find people that make life truly worth living.
I also believe that I have do my best along with trusting in Allah. So I put my profile on websites, join marriage services, go to events knowing that I am not what the people there are looking for, I even think some probably laugh or take pity at my situation. Maybe I am being naive, maybe unrealistic but I also think there are people out there who are open-minded and believe it or not I have had some positive experiences. So I would tell my fellow singletons to not give up, not everyone is the same, make the effort and may whatever is best for you all be facilitated, Ameen.