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Author Topic: Question For the Brothers  (Read 1743 times)

SisterGirl

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Question For the Brothers
« on: Apr. 10, 2010, 01:32 AM »

In reading a topic earlier about sisters struggling to get married It made me wonder?
Are the brothers struggling to get married too?
Are you losing hope?
Crying?
Depressed?
Getting a no at every turn?
FInding it difficult just to get a sister to even speak to you?
Are you feeling like you may be alone for the rest of your life?
Have you been actively searching to get married for years with no luck?
These are just some of the issues the sisters have brought up, brothers please let us know. Is your search extremely difficult as well ??
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Anonymous

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 07:08 AM »

In uk its a big problem because alot of people are selfish, they go for status, physical and cultural attributes. i think muslims in this country only fallow 5% sunnah of prophet when luking for potential suiter and that's why divorce rate is too hight. If u don't have well established financial status and house, its impossible for you to getting marry here.

I am quite shy person and even start tallking to stranger is too difficult for me. But i m type of person, i can't trust girls who are moving around , my idea mathch who is religious, gud in charachter and like an alima but i don't have family over here and i can't any apporach to these types of sisters. I don't care about financial status and other things, for me i can get anything but i don't want to have family which don't have base on islamic values, respect etc.
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SisterGirl

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 03:29 PM »

Yes I can see how following 5% of the sunnah would not result in much stability in our ummah. I dont know what the percent is in the US but I think many people are not following the sunnah when it comes to looking for a spouse. If they were 1. sisters would not be struggling as they are and 2. And more marriages would be based on a Islamic foundation instead of other factors that dont contribute to the success of  a marriage.
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Anonymous

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 03:35 PM »

yes, there is gap lie on both sides and when we will leave  superfical, financial  and artifical attributes, we will in better posiiton to find potential suiter and put peace in our lives.
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Anonymous

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 06:40 PM »

Ok sisters here's the thing especially in the U.S. The Dunya..the culture in this country is so overwhelming and seductive..that people begin to covet the world and the things in it..they begin to only focus on money,status,prestige, and the glamorous things .along with the western Idea of sexiness and morals,values,..I am an American born and raised right  here in sunny California tattooed from head to toe white muslim..not a convert..a revert.(smile) I have been all up in the lifestyle of this country..so I am here to tell you that ..one of the major problems is women and mens..Deen..Ibadah.and Emaan...somewhere along the path of life ..LOVE of this life is more important then...worship of Allah..It's like this ..to claim to be a muslim who follows the example of the prophet (pbuh)well first off understand that he was not a man of earthly wealth,nor did he care for the things of this world..his wealth was spiritual..and the message that Allah commanded him to give to mankind..is unpriceable...(I think that's my own new word? smile) the only wealth any one who claims to be a MUSLIM should be concerned about is QU"RAN...it is the true wealth of a MUSLIM/MUSLIMA..me I have no Illusions to the fact that anything that I aquire in this life will be Gifts and blessings from Allah...some of your HAPPIEST people on this planet are the poor..and some of your most messerable people are the rich..Do yourselves a huge favor and truly submit yourselves to Allah..and pray from the heart..the real..evryone of us knows that with Allah there are no secrets..can't run drag on the CREATOR of the whole CREATION...I know because I have tried to run my own program and I always failed. oh and don't reject the one Allah sends you in answer of your prayers..you know I pray for a car and A pinto comes my way..and I start to be ungrateful for the gift Allah has given me...because I in my ARROGANCE and getting caught up in my EGO..wanted a BMW.BLACK with all the bells and whistles...It;s not about what we want..Alhamdullah..it is about being grateful to Allah ..for giving us what he feels is correct and beneficial to our needs...Asallamu Alaikum my beautiful sisters in Islam   mydeen44
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Anonymous

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #5 on: Jun. 14, 2010, 05:28 AM »

In reading a topic earlier about sisters struggling to get married It made me wonder?
Are the brothers struggling to get married too?
Are you losing hope?
Crying?
Depressed?
Getting a no at every turn?
FInding it difficult just to get a sister to even speak to you?
Are you feeling like you may be alone for the rest of your life?
Have you been actively searching to get married for years with no luck?
These are just some of the issues the sisters have brought up, brothers please let us know. Is your search extremely difficult as well ??

well a LOT of brothers ARE struggling because of finances and social implications, well at least where i come from

nope, not losing hope, well sometimes one can get really depressed yes, but depression is NOT recommended and is a sign of weak emaan

lol, crying, well perhaps some of the messed up practising teens would i guess

dont even have the position ( social/financial ) to talk to a sister, so NO is automatically ruled out

talking to sisters, not recommended at all, comes under the heading of free mixing, haram. period.

lol, thas depression, one gets fed up yes of being alone yes, but one has to adjust with the life

oh sorry, i guess this question was not for me, ive had the desire to search yes, but then im not ready why should i be doing it in the first place
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Anonymous

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Re: Question For the Brothers
« Reply #6 on: Jun. 19, 2010, 01:38 AM »

Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakatahu.

Sister Girl,

1. No I don't cry about it because I don't cry over things like that.

2. No, I don't feel emotionally frustrated because I do not have a wife. Intimately closed off completely from the opposite sex? Sure. I do feel emotionally frustrated because kaffir women keep hitting on me and I don't want to be mean when I turn them down. It would be easier just to tell them that I was married.

3. No, I'm not losing hope because my hope and faith is in Allah and not some sisters who only care about how rich or poor I am.

4. Yes, I feel lonely, but so what?

5. No, I don't talk to sisters because it is Haraam. It is better for me to speak to their wali or for them to speak to my wali. I constantly tell this to the sisters who approach me regularly.

6. No, I have not been actively searching because I don't know how, I'm not a ladies man, and I do not believe in luck.

7. No, I don't feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life and I don't understand any woman that feels like she is going to be alone for the rest of her life because a women catch more play than men. Especially the women whom society perceives to be beneath the standard of "attractiveness".

8. Yes, I am struggling to get married. I accept it.

"By the way, if any sisters here want to get married and live in (or are willing to move to) the Orlando Area, then I have a brother for you. This message goes out to all the sisters near here as well in case sister girl isn't interested. His name is Hamza (No, it is not me) and he is a construction worker/handy man. He is divorced and has two children. He is a Muslim on the Salafi Menhaj and is of Latino descent. If there are any sisters here that want to see what he looks like then you can see him on facebook. His full name is Hamza Antonio Garcia and he is 35 years old. I urge any real Muslim sister to approach him with the intention for marriage. He is an excellent father and is serious about this deen. He doesn't care if she is divorced, widowed, or has children. He doesn't care what color she is and he doesn't care what country she comes from or what language she speaks. Young or older doesn't faze him as long as she is Muslim and wants to get married asap.
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