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Author Topic: Beautiful people: a random rant  (Read 1239 times)

Anonymous

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Beautiful people: a random rant
« on: Apr. 09, 2010, 10:17 PM »

Salaam peeps,

I was reading a website that was posted up on this forum http://practimate.com/blog/your-biggest-obstacle-to-marriage-women-25-30/, the practimate website where sisters were being asked what was their biggest obstacle to getting married. One sister wrote:

"the reason that I am not married until now is because since birth I was born with a disability, I couldn't walk, now I can & it has left me with a slight limp with a leg length discrepancy (you probably thinking so what - no1’s perfect..)Thats what I thought until I had to go through heartbreak after heartbreak, proposals breaking off: The reason “Im not perfect enough” “What will my friends say if we walk down the road” “my mother does’nt think you perfect enough” I know I said it doesn't matter,but know, after thinking, it does...So obviously this has left a feeling of being used and hurt but most of all I felt my mothers pain...I cannot and will not put myself through it is what I told myself. I told them that it is what is in the heart that counts and Allah looks at your heart. Having a limp doesn't make me any less of a person I am still Allah’s creation… As time went by my focus has changed I have become closer to Allah & I said to Allah - Ya Allah my life's purpose is to be a complete muslim, to be a good wife,mother and daughter in law and only you can answer my duas so I leave it in your hands - Inshallah when the time is right I believe Allah will send him. Everyone has their partner in this dunya.. Ameen."


I read this and thought about how beautiful people can be.

This post really struck a chord with me because I too have a disability, it is not severe, but it is apparent and does make things difficult when it comes to marriage. I feel there is no place for people who are a little bit out of the ordinary: you have to have the right looks, height, weight, skin colour and occupation/education even to be considered. It is almost like a competitive job application. If you don't fulfill the criteria you are excluded. What I have learnt from my disability, however, is that life has so much to offer and people have so much to offer. If we go beyond the superficial maybe we will find people that make life truly worth living.

I also believe that I have do my best along with trusting in Allah. So I put my profile on websites, join marriage services, go to events knowing that I am not what the people there are looking for, I even think some probably laugh or take pity at my situation. Maybe I am being naive, maybe unrealistic but I also think there are people out there who are open-minded and believe it or not I have had some positive experiences. So I would tell my fellow singletons to not give up, not everyone is the same, make the effort and may whatever is best for you all be facilitated, Ameen. 
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Eemo

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Re: Beautiful people: a random rant
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 09, 2010, 10:55 PM »

Mashallah very inspiring post.
You're absolutely right. We all need to get past the superficial.

Wish you well in your search :)
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SisterGirl

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Re: Beautiful people: a random rant
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 01:21 AM »

May Allah make it easy for you and the other sister who's post was very sobering. It is difficult, and unfortunately for the sister that you quoted who felt she is having such difficulty finding a husband due to a disability, that is only part of it. There are many beautiful sisters with no disabilities, who are marginalized by men and are never considerd to be good enough to even talk to and get to know. Wonderfuil sisters disability or not, are struggling to find husbands. Its not good.  :(
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mydeen44

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Re: Beautiful people: a random rant
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 12, 2010, 02:10 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum my beautiful sisters in Islam

 Alhamdullah...I have got to tell you that my heart was full of empathy for you are my eyes are brimming with tears..you see for my whole life I was one of those shallow men you are talking about..but not today..Insha Allah..not anymore...for one thing to be a Muslim..a true Muslim...we must realize that Allah does not create defects Alhamdullah..everything that Allah creates is beautiful in its own right..I am a man...and I self imposed..defects upon myself..I tattooed myself so much so that I am one big canvas of tattoo's..also I aquired
some other defects along the way through my journey of life..Alhamdullah..I am quite sure that your beauty is so profoundly breath taking that if you keep surrendering and trusting in Allah..that you will be very amazed and surprised at how Allah will answer your prayers and bless you with the gift of a husband !! I beleive this because Allah says so in the Qu'ran !! remember this..everything is Insha Allah..there is nothing that is not Insha Allah !!!! Those people who are out there (smile) they all have there own defects..trust me..on this..you stay strong and pray your Salah..all five of them and study the Qu'ran...not read it but study it and ponder on the signs of Allah..and Alhamdullah..never miss a prayer my beautiful sister...because Allah listens to those who listen to him!!
                                        Asalaamu alaikum

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