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Author Topic: Question for the sisters  (Read 1534 times)

Anonymous

  • Guest
Question for the sisters
« on: Apr. 16, 2010, 10:59 AM »

Salaam,

This one is for the sisters.

When a suitor comes to see/visit you, what are the indicators/clues you are looking for about a person, and what is it that they indicate to you?

Say for example...

1) The way he dresses?
2) Things he chooses to talk about?
3) Questions he asks?

etc etc. Any more that you can add to the list? I'm really looking to get an idea of what things you find attractive, what things un-attractive, what intrigues you, what doesnt and so on.

Please feel free to add anything else to the list, that is just the questions that i could think of.

Long answers, frank answers, bold answers favoured. Gimme all ya got. This is a free for all.
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 27, 2010, 04:23 AM »

I have a number of sisters and we've gone through many.

Dress is important. It just tells a lot about a person. I remember one guy coming over in a leather jacket and jeans. Umm OK.

Also, what you bring. One guy brought coffee from a rest stop (the free kind).

How you interact with everyone. I remember one guy who sat on the floor and ate with us and interacted with the kids. He got big up points.

Thanking the mother for cooking. Or ignoring everyone. Even leading the prayer and how they were able to do that gives us a better understanding of how he is.

If he pays for dinner or the girl's dinner if you're out.

We look at everything and examine it. Don't tell me guys don't do it too :)



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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 27, 2010, 08:26 PM »

Well this question took a long time to get answered. Where have all the sisters disappeared to?

Thanks for your answers. So tell me, ... What is considered good dress in your opinion?

Tell me what else you examine? What other things to you pay attention to? I'm good with kids. very good, but most places i visit, usually there are no kids around.
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 27, 2010, 11:50 PM »

Sorry, I was actually out of town. Not sure where the other sisters are???

I think the best thing for you to wear is like slacks and a nice shirt with dress shoes (not sneakers!). It's kind of neutral wear. Not all thobe-ish trying to impress them with your Islam or all jeans/very casual like you don't care look.

Respect shown to family members and like I said the kids is really a big thing. If the guy is rude to the elders or my mother or my father it's just not nice. Even ignoring or insulting my sister-in-law is not cool.

Also when you and the rishta are talking, if he is like overly questioning about every little thing, or if he is relaxed and let's the conversation take a natural course. If he listens and genuinely seems like he is interested in her answers is a big thing. Not putting her on the spot and asking too sensitive/too personal/weird questions is good too... ie how many times a day do you shower...do you wear a lot of makeup... etc.

Hope that helps, good luck with your visit  ;)
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 28, 2010, 12:43 AM »

Thanks for replying.

I actually went to visit the family last week. I dont know what "slacks" are, but i wore smart trousers and a formal shirt (no tie). I was very respectful to the parents (thats how i am anyway). There were no kids.

Well, despite all that and a 160 mile trip, the girl decided not to show up!
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 28, 2010, 10:28 PM »

Not show up means??? You didn't see her at all?

Wow. Some families think it's ba-adab for the girl to be all in front of the guy or meet him before marriage. Maybe they're like that??
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Question for the sisters
« Reply #6 on: Apr. 29, 2010, 12:15 AM »

Seems like there were some problems in the family. The father hadnt even informed the girl that we were coming, and then when she *was* notified last minute, she refused to visit because she was taking a stance against her father.
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