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Author Topic: how does this idea seem? sisters?  (Read 1957 times)

3bdiAllaah

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how does this idea seem? sisters?
« on: Aug. 08, 2010, 08:43 PM »


 ok this is pretty weird question but here goes.

 how does the idea of being wife to a super strict muslim man feel?

 do you really feel afraid/not interested?

 BY SUPER STRICT I MEAN

 no unecessary going out? no work? all the time being at home ( of course it means he can earn enuf and doesnt want u to work )
 no music
 no movies

etc.
etc.

brothers welcome to chip in.
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skhansj

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Re: how does this idea seem? sisters?
« Reply #1 on: Aug. 09, 2010, 05:10 AM »

The best leader is the one who serves his community. The best husband is probably the one who serves his wife (rather than treat her as as of his possessions). You should carefully consider if your actions are for Allah, or for your own concepts of honor and pride.

It all depends on your intentions. If you are making it possible for your wife to increase her knowledge of deen, maintain her relationships with family and friends and be not burdened by matters related to earning an income, and she is happy with this, then I'd say mash'Allah.

However, if you are trying to reaffirm your 'control' over her and making her a 'chaar dewaari' (someone confined within four walls), then you are perpetuating a tradition that has been adopted in the South Asian context from the aristocracy of the (then) non-Muslim Persian empire, where women were treated as possessions to be jealously guarded. I would suggest that you then think about the situation where you were in her shoes, and this was the scenario that you found yourself in, and would it make you happy or not... and then do that which is right, after your istikhaara and taking some mash'wara.

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skhansj

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Re: how does this idea seem? sisters?
« Reply #2 on: Aug. 09, 2010, 05:18 AM »

"Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers."

From the last sermon of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)
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3bdiAllaah

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Re: how does this idea seem? sisters?
« Reply #3 on: Aug. 11, 2010, 02:11 PM »

Quote
The best leader is the one who serves his community. The best husband is probably the one who serves his wife (rather than treat her as as of his possessions). You should carefully consider if your actions are for Allah, or for your own concepts of honor and pride.

um.... i thot niyyah was not a question here. the point was that some muslims are accomodating to western values, essentially not islamic ones, and some reverts or lets say born muslims do not understand a few things or are not ready to start doing something

would you not agree that not-watching movies and not-lisetining to music and not using these forms of *entertainment* would make your life hard? the point being most of us are sooo addicted and find it hard to go ahead and leave all these things.

let me make it more clear, its about taqwa, i hope now u get it.
Quote
It all depends on your intentions. If you are making it possible for your wife to increase her knowledge of deen, maintain her relationships with family and friends and be not burdened by matters related to earning an income, and she is happy with this, then I'd say mash'Allah.

in islam knowledge is what can be seen in practise. so its about going to the next level. some brothers or sisters may find it hard or may say they are not ready to do that just yet.

Quote
However, if you are trying to reaffirm your 'control' over her and making her a 'chaar dewaari' (someone confined within four walls), then you are perpetuating a tradition that has been adopted in the South Asian context from the aristocracy of the (then) non-Muslim Persian empire, where women were treated as possessions to be jealously guarded. I would suggest that you then think about the situation where you were in her shoes, and this was the scenario that you found yourself in, and would it make you happy or not... and then do that which is right, after your istikhaara and taking some mash'wara.

thankyou, that was really informative, the issue here is following what is strictly within Quran and Sunnah, of course women are allowed to go out, but when i posted the question i think it was not really hard to make out that it was about pardah which is from Quran and Sunnah and not the one you speak of and of course not the pardah which "pathans" have made up by theirselves and i agree sometimes or may be more of the time this imposed pardah is not about islam but about tribal and personal jealousy

mind you, guarding your spouse and having marital jealousy is healthy, but within bounds and not in the perimiters of doubting too much.

i hope i may have made things less complicated but it seems sisters are not interested in talking about this.
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practising_muslimah

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Re: how does this idea seem? sisters?
« Reply #4 on: Apr. 08, 2011, 02:43 PM »

That sounds perfect actually, i prefer super strict.

I hate going out, music, movies, anything against shariah, we are muslims how can anyone not hate these?
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SalwaR

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Re: how does this idea seem? sisters?
« Reply #5 on: Apr. 22, 2011, 05:59 PM »

Salam sis  :D

Sounds similar to me.
Although i do not consider some of the things you mentioned as being super strict!
For example listening to music is Haram, fact as mentioned by the Prophet SAW. Movies which contain haram containt is Haram too. Most movies include some sort of romance, swearing, and violence even kiddy movies. So i would say 99% are haram to watch as muslims.

There are occassions when it is neccessaryfor a lady to go out alone, especially if she is living in the West. So not going out at all is excessive and has not concereate evidence from islam itself. HOWEVER, a woman asking permission to leave the house and to tell her husband where she is going is a must. If he says no, then the wife has to respect that and not fight it, that is from the sunnah of the Prophet SAW.

I have found someone like that, he doesnt listen to music, or watch movies or watch "day time TV" h watches arabic channels such as IQRA and other islamic programmes. He expects me as a wife to tell him where i will go and for how long and seek permission, mashallah so this is a man who wants to follow the sunnah. It is not "Strict" its what every "practicing" husband ad wife SHOULD be doing.


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