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Author Topic: would you rather like to live with your parents after marriage ?  (Read 3015 times)

3bdiAllaah

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OR

youd like to live at your own place,
consider joint family system
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abeeda

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I'LL PREFER TO LIVE ON MY OWN
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Dawud ibn Isa

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By myself, living with my parents is strange to me
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3bdiAllaah

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of course most of us wont like to live with the parents.

but what if parents are old and require care?

and in some psuedo islamic societies mixed with hindu values such as pakistani/indian/benglai societies not living with parents will make you an outcast a social freak and the biggest sinner in the eyes of society.

but then, we dont care about what people say do we? haha

anyways the point was if parents are old what then?
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cinders

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If parents were old & 'normal'... Then why not. However, just to add something else:

What if parents were old, & you decided to live with them... Yet the parents weren't very nice to the daughter-in-law. Everything she did they found a reason to complain? What if she wasn't even their choice & their son had made his own choice..

I know some 'Asian' Aunties have huge problems with that. They can't come to terms with the Son making a huge decision as to who he wants to spend the rest of his life with, as a result causes huge problems, which eventually leads to son & daughter-in-law moving out. Or even, worse still because of interference from family leads to the marriage breakdown.

Sad but true.   
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3bdiAllaah

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Quote
What if parents were old, & you decided to live with them... Yet the parents weren't very nice to the daughter-in-law. Everything she did they found a reason to complain? What if she wasn't even their choice & their son had made his own choice..

for all the reasons above i would never keep her with my parents insha Allaah
i have seen joint family system with my own eyes. its not islamic at all. just some old hinduism inherited culture saadly prevailing in subcontinent.

Quote
I know some 'Asian' Aunties have huge problems with that. They can't come to terms with the Son making a huge decision as to who he wants to spend the rest of his life with, as a result causes huge problems, which eventually leads to son & daughter-in-law moving out. Or even, worse still because of interference from family leads to the marriage breakdown.

soo true. and it comes with sooo many complexities. these moms have some girl spotted looong ago. mostly daughters of their sisters/brothers. and have secretly annouced it to other aunties. and everyone in the *family* is like dead sure that this girl is taken for that boy and vice versa. and so on.

now these aunties cant risk their *reputation* and can not risk their *self esteem*
self esteem is the most potent factor for moving a human being to go any length.

these aunties will then play the tear weapon and do anything to get what they want
seriously, these aunties are in some deep love with a girl. what about the guy whose gona spend his life lol

id just get married and run away lol.
plus you should see the amount of privacy the *family* allows the couple to have.
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I Walk Alone...

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Not no way, not no how!
Not my parents or hers! Ever!

If you're resposible enough to be married, you're responsible enough to be on your own in the world.
Also, the pre-children privacy would be a BLESSING!!!
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