A SAUDI friend of mine faced this issue: He wanted to marry someone from Syria. But being a Saudi, he needed permission. He tried several times, but his application was always turned down. He tried through agents who took a lot of money but returned it all back without success.
So, he came to me hoping I could be of help in some way. I first quizzed him:
1. Why not marry someone closer to home – in fact, closer to your tribe and home? He said, "The amount of dowry demanded, the facilities that I must provide, and other riches expected like gold are just way beyond what I can afford."
2. Why not marry someone who will agree to what you can provide?
He replied, "There is no one like that here. And, if I were to find someone like that - it would be impossible to have her accepted in my home and to have a family with her – let alone her father agreeing to it. The point is I have hosen someone and she is a Muslim."
Quite valid point. I took the file and sent it for approval through our office. We were asked where the person worked. He worked with the Saudi Electricity Company. Our application was immediately turned down. "SEC is a semi-government company. Sorry, not possible."
I returned the file to a crying man. I received calls from Syria, from the lady he wanted to marry. She was very much distressed.
It did not work out. And the man disappeared for a while. A year later I got a call from Dubai. He was at a partying, while laughing and talking to me. Don't even bother to ask me what he was up to.
When marriage becomes so difficult, Haraam ways of satisfaction become very appealing. The problem is not permission from the Ministry of Interior alone, which many manage to secure. The problem is – and this is not limited to Saudi Arabia but includes most Muslim countries – with the difficulty of marriage.
Our Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraged and facilitated marriage. He stressed on early marriage. This is why Nikah is so simple in Islam.
Marriage removes perversion and prostitution from a society. There is NO other way. Muslims cannot be like Buddhists and "refrain". In fact, no human can. The idea of a "self-development" program that requires you to "refrain" is ridiculous. It has not been revealed by God and its results are obviously evil.
So, when marriage is supposed to be easy in Islam, why have our countries made it so difficult? Why do we have such a large population of single men and women? Why in India and Pakistan, when a woman is divorced, she is no longer considered eligible?
Clearly, we have given precedence to our own culture over the commandments of Allah and His Messenger. This is the root cause of destruction of society.
The one unit that forms the basis of all societies – family – is being threatened. High "rates" of dowry and too many conditions like tribe, race, color and income have made marriage impossible for many. Though one may consider these things, they should not become the primary focus and a barrier for marriage. It must be left to the man and woman on what they feel can be compromised. Why make it difficult when we know obstructing marriage will lead to Haraam actions?
Most people would agree with what is being said, but few really act upon it.
In our societies, marriage is considered the final stage of life's accomplishment. It symbolizes the end of life and beginning of struggles. This is because we are raised in a society that associates marriage with status and accomplishment. How wrong that notion is!
Marriage is only part of the journey. And no amount of accomplishment can be considered as lasting any way. Ups and downs happen in life – before and after marriage.
Today single men and women are in millions – creating a breeding ground for scandals. Commercial eroticism is taking place in every house through various TV channels. The perversion of men and degradation of women is entertainment for people, including Muslims, worldwide. This is affecting children. Kids now learn to sing and dance before they learn the Qur'an. How will our lives and our countries' economies have barakah (blessings) if such things prevail?
The disease is now catching up fast in the kingdom. The media is playing it up day and night. The fight between of religious authorities and liberals has intensified. Media channels here are no better than foreign channels. People are staying silent though they know what is going on is Haraam. Media's influence has increased the number of divorce cases (a reason for Satan to rejoice) and is breaking apart families. Where do you think this will end? Society will completely degenerate. Our social "considerations" have led us to this state.
One of the several steps required to effectively tackle this challenge is facilitate marriage and protect the family. Saudi Arabia should relax rules and allow its citizens to marry Muslims from other countries. Making marriage difficult is unhealthy for the country.http://www.saudilife.net/component/content/article/48-nation/229-difficulty-in-marriage-in-ksa-a-crime.html#comment-473