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Author Topic: Racial issue..again  (Read 1823 times)

nulady

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Racial issue..again
« on: Aug. 31, 2010, 04:33 PM »

At my Masjid we had a recent conversion. She was a white female who had been dating an Indonesian guy and wanted him to marry her so naturally she converted for him. Forget how illogical and blasphemous it is to pick your faith for earthly pleasures I was merely astounded by the reaction from the members of my mosque (mostly Arab and south Asian) People were taking pictures of this girl, crying, kissing her, and just really Muslims gone wild. Now fine. If you want to convert Alhamduallah its great welcome to the community and all that. But this is the same congregation that did not give a second glance to the conversion of the African American woman who had converted after having read and studied the faith extensively. There was no celebration, photos, or tears. WHAT? Racist much? Astagfurallah. Or maybe people are just shallow... lighter children and grandchildren are worth more than a pious, islamic family.
How does this relate to marriage? Well... that is just one less Muslim man who can marry a Muslim woman. And in my community Muslim men are scarce! And the ones we have are outsourcing! And the fact that people celebrate the new woman accepting Islam when it is only to marry a Muslim guy baffles me. What about us? Muslim for the sake of Allah and stuck looking for a spouse on the World Wide Web. Is it just me?
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3bdiAllaah

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #1 on: Aug. 31, 2010, 05:14 PM »

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She was a white female who had been dating an Indonesian guy and wanted him to marry her so naturally she converted for him.

there is a strong possiblity she might have been converted for that guy.
but we must be careful to question nyyah or must be more careful in the way we express such things.

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was merely astounded by the reaction from the members of my mosque (mostly Arab and south Asian) People were taking pictures of this girl, crying, kissing her, and just really Muslims gone wild. Now fine. If you want to convert Alhamduallah its great welcome to the community and all that. But this is the same congregation that did not give a second glance to the conversion of the African American woman who had converted after having read and studied the faith extensively.

this is usual human psyche at work. nothing else. blacks are looked down upon, conciosuly or subconsciosly.

it is indeed a sad thing. the reaction of these people was merely out of narrow minded approach leading to a permamnent impringment on peoples personalities.

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And in my community Muslim men are scarce! And the ones we have are outsourcing!

an extremely important point and very much overlooked.
that is why i would never outsource myself. muslims living near me have more right over me and i have duty towards them. but the point here is, most muslim men are anyways men. things are like this and may remain so. the scarcity of muslim men leads to polygamy issues, but most muslim women of course are not comfortable with it. its natural for them to be so but they must not go out of the way to be strict about their own opinions.
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nulady

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #2 on: Aug. 31, 2010, 07:59 PM »

Thanks for calling me out on questioning the womans faith and intentions. I did not intend to speak ill of the convert and I sincerly hope that she converted for the sake of Allah and not her desire to be accepted by her boyfriend and his family. May Allah forgive my judgement of others when only he has that right.

Salaams
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3bdiAllaah

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #3 on: Aug. 31, 2010, 09:53 PM »

it was not meant to point you out rather it was intended as a generic expression.

i know such examples and it is logically possible taking into account the potency of feelings for the opposite sex, and the chracterisicts muslim men usually tend to have that non muslim women find them highly desirable and may change their faith just for that.

moreover, marriage minded non muslim women in the west may also be highly attracted to muslim men in this way.

my assesment is that muslim men somehow, sometimes find non muslim western women more attractive because 1. muslim women dont show off which is totally good. 2. most muslim men come from muslim dominated-population cultures and i myself knw that attraction towards a women of another race/culture is usually more than the one you come from.

had it been a time when muslims were in control of the world, or women were more open to polygamy, it would have been a feasible choice to marry such a non muslim women to increase the muslim popultaion as was done by muslims in early conquests.

one thing we must not forget! is Umar ibnal khatab warned muslims of charms of christian women and their traps, as non muslim people usually lack that part of "gheerah".
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JenBean71

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #4 on: Sep. 01, 2010, 08:19 AM »

MashaAllah even if her interest in Islam began with the brother, alhamdulillah she embraced Islam.

If she wasn't open to the idea she would have either gone away or insisted on him accepting her as ahl al-kitab, people of the Book. And her niyyah is between her and Allah.

It is something I find pretty annoying as a first generation Muslim - I am asked quite often about when I embraced Islam, if a guy was involved. And when I say no, they look shocked and continue to talk at me but not in English.

Then when I married a black brother, I was deflecting rude remarks about how I either took one away from the black sisters, or why I didn't marry an Arab. Older sisters look at one another, shake their heads and mutter that saying in Arabic which means "She couldn't do any better".

So I didn't care about the colour of the brother. I don't care about the ignorant attitudes from some of my sisters and brothers. I certainly do not feel those reprehensible feelings if I see a white brother with an African sister. So many double standards. Embracing Islam wasn't difficult - my family was supportive of my life choices and they remain so. The Canadian society where I live allows me to practice any religion and even has laws protecting me. I'm not so sure about some members of the Muslim community - but it's not my place to judge or generalize...my take on it is Allah tests us in different ways alhamdulillah.

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3bdiAllaah

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #5 on: Sep. 01, 2010, 11:41 AM »

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Older sisters look at one another, shake their heads and mutter that saying in Arabic which means "She couldn't do any better".

very very interesting insight into female psyche as general.
such sentiments are usually bound to come, not all people actually think before they express themselves as to how bad it can hurt someone else.
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nulady

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #6 on: Sep. 01, 2010, 04:17 PM »

MashaAllah even if her interest in Islam began with the brother, alhamdulillah she embraced Islam.

In Islam everything we do is based on our intentions, I am not saying she met the guy and got interested in Islam based on him or when she learned thereafter. That would be great (minus the haram relationship that began the union). The reality is that they dated, committed zinah, and she wanted him to marry her. His condition was the she convert because his parents would not accept his marriage to a girl who was not Muslim. So she utters a few Arabic phrases that she really doesn’t understand and that’s it! Problem solved! They can get married!
This is the problem with this concept that I have seen too often.  My own mother converted because my dad wanted her to. Eventually she had to be true to herself and after realizing that she really only did it for a man she turned her back on a faith she never really believed in. There is more to being Muslim than saying “I'm Muslim”. To choose to be a Muslim based on something as fickle as a romantic relationship is ludicrous and an insult to those who truly believe. This is my observation Allah knows what really lies in the hearts of people.
Salaam and du’a
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JenBean71

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Re: Racial issue..again
« Reply #7 on: Sep. 02, 2010, 07:23 AM »

Jazak Allahu kheir for explaining further, it does sound shallow. It's not like the brother was very good at guarding himself from zina and they both fell into it. And the absurdity of the disparity in reactions of the community between the two who had embraced Islam which was clearly race biased. I have a dear Jamaican sister in Islam who noticed the same thing when she embraced Islam at the mosque - however there were a lot of us who attend halaqa and we organized a halaqa/dinner for families to celebrate her shahadda and introduce her to all kinds of Muslims from Africa, Asia and America alhamdulillah.
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