Dear Sr. anothertry38
I just wanted to welcome you to the forum!
It sounds like an intense jihad where health affects everything.
In addition to that, others who do not have health issues will probably not have what it takes to understand what it's like to be tested so intensely.
You deserve someone who will be there for you and be able to understand what you are facing all the time. Moreover, it sound like you're living alone with something (that sounds like MD or Lupus or Sjogren's) where not even your family knows (no need to disclose, nor would I assume to know but it sounds somewhat related to a muscle disorder that isn't progressing aggressively but causes pain and affects specific abilities). In other words, you're thinking of the future but no one knows what you're living with.
OK - my suggestion (similar to al-Qamar's advice) would be to contact groups that have similar health problems- here's why:
1) When you join a group (online or support group) for people with specific health conditions, you will find that Muslims are not immune from having health issues too - unfortunately, they are extremely marginalized, told to hide and made to feel like defective and less than human because of the social stigmas placed upon people with disabilities. There is a brother waiting for you inshaAllah but it might streamline your search to join a health related group as well as Muslim groups to get the word out that you're looking.
2) you know best why your parents don't know but it breaks my heart that - out of everyone, you shouldn't have to hide this - you need the understanding of family when trying to live with something that affects you this way. Find the support of others with health related jihad - you have my support, sister.
3) A prospective spouse with a similar health-related jihad would, hopefully, have a supportive family behind him, just hoping for the right woman to come along, one who will understand him and relate to everything without making him feel like less than a human - she would know better than anyone.
4)Once you're married you'll find ways to enjoy each other and, without going into details on here, it doesn't have to be 'traditional'. You do many things together and you'll both find what you enjoy together. You will not have to live with some terrible secret nor be forced to feel like a defective human - because you're are not defective and this is not a terrible secret. You have more opportunity for blessings and to enter Jannah through patience and gratitude in every situation, inshaAllah. I am making dua for the best brother for you, sister.