And there you are assuming that just because I am not pretty, then I am not human....I should be looking for someone who will not care about loving me.
Subhan'Allah, I said no such thing... let's recap...
You asked a very direct question about beauty being a factor for men (and others after you have also raised this point). The fact is, I gave you the answer... and not only that I also backed it up with the evidences of two internationally respected sheikhs who have direct experience in this matter! If (as one mentioned) you want to take away from this that men are shallow, be my guest. But just remember, that's how Allah (swt) made us, and who are you to criticise the method and manner in which Allah (swt) creates?
Secondly, I don't know you. I've never met you, I've never spoken to you, I've never messaged you, or otherwise had any contact with you of any kind. I've no idea if you're beautiful or not... beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm just going on what you said and your concerns.
Your concern was that you'd never get married... I don't know your situation, but what I was trying to show is that there's always a way if that's your concern. If Allah (swt) has decreed a matter for you, none can change it.
Your just like people in my community who treat me like a social worker.
I think that's a little unfair. I've not judged you or treated you in any manner. I think you're venting because of what others have done, and you'd like to take it out on me.
That being the case, go right ahead. I don't take any personal offence because at the end of the day I know it's not true. But if it makes you feel better, then insha'Allah I'll be rewarded for that.
Please do not think I am taking this out on you
That's a little hard, because on the basis of a single answer, you've made an accusation towards and about me.
but subhanAllah you answered just like everyone else in my community....
Really? By stating what? That men look for beauty in women? That's fact! And by stating that there will be someone for you, insha'Allah. Well, that's up to Allah (swt), but I'd like to think so. Anything else you've read in.
@Amatullah : completely agree with all your points, jazak'Allah khair
Unfortunately, something we have to face is that men in this ummah ARE racist and shallow.
That's a pretty blanket statement to describe a body of people that make up at least 1/5th of world's population... are you sure you're not exaggerating slightly?
They are looking for the certain looks of the elite status quo, as I mentioned in my previous posts based on colonialism, historical factors and today's fashions. They are looking for a certain image.. of a docile, homemaker doormat, trophy wife.
You'd be surprised... many don't! And I'll name myself specifically in that... in fact on my marriage profile I've specifically stated that I don't want a wife who thinks it's her place to cook/clean... I have my reasons, but my point is you can't just make blanket statements like that.
Because why. Again those historical, cultural factors. And the majority of the guys in this category are born overseas. My advice to you is look for converts.
Now you're mixing two different things... being born and raised overseas with how they were born? What about a convert who was born overseas? What about a person who was born Muslim, but raised in the West?
They've been raised in a less racist way, ie at least to know racism is wrong intellectually and they are trying to live up to the ideals of Islam.
Again, you'd be surprised... and it's best to talk from personal experience rather than what you think
might be the case. I've spoken to many sisters for marriage in the last few years... two of which have been reverts. And truely, the two reverts were the worst... completely lacking in manners and common decency, hiding behind stupid excuses to justify what they were doing.
I'm not saying avoid reverts either... but you can't just people has a group. Everyone was created individual, treat them as such.
(although I'm very open to the idea that convert guys are not the same as convert girls, all the convert guys I've met have excellent manners and etiquette)
Seriously, do yourself a favor and forget all those wack guys and start looking for that rare 2% that aren't like that.
I think that's her problem, she's finding it difficult
May Allah grant you righteous spouses ladies. Ameen.