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Author Topic: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:  (Read 13692 times)

Muslimah21

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #15 on: Aug. 31, 2009, 11:27 PM »

That sounds like a dangerous game. Finding out from both sides what may or may not of happend in thier passed. I think its better to get character references from thier imam, thier freinds, people in thier community, people who know the family etc etc. Even work collegues.
But talkign to the Ex is a bit of a bad way to go. I dont think aby good can come of it. unless the two divourced on mutual agreement and with no hard feelings. which is very rare lol.
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Africanmuslimah88

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #16 on: Sep. 01, 2009, 12:24 AM »

I dont think you should talk to the ex at all, that just seems like something that could cause alot of fitnah and distrust between people.

If your really curious about how they treat their ex- spouse, ex-fiance, see how they deal with the matter by actions. Like do they backbite about them, tell you faults about them, try and make them look bad? or are they respectful about the situation and try to protect the integrity of the other person. You can learn alot of things about a person when you observe how they act in certain situations.
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reeldeel

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #17 on: Sep. 01, 2009, 01:12 AM »

but doesnt the Ex know most about the him/her. They can tell you what they think and you analyse for your self. unless of course the ex really hates his/her ex and doesnt want to see him/her with another person
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Muslimah21

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #18 on: Sep. 01, 2009, 01:33 PM »

Well like i said, if they divourced on mustual agreement and it was settled peacfully and with no hard feelings/ ill feelings then its ok. Otherwise they are only going to say bad things becuase they have become bitter and twisted. It makes sense doesnt it.
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Africanmuslimah88

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #19 on: Sep. 02, 2009, 06:26 AM »

I think in any case its not ok. They are divorced for a reason, so it shows bad akhlaaq to go looking for the ex for answers when your potential spouse is right in front you to answer them. If your looking to talk to someone other than the potential spouse than ask his family about the matter, if you feel like their bias then you would have to just look at the actions of the person and their akhlaaq about the situation as I mentioned in my previous post.

I personally would be offended if I was divorced and talking to somebody for marriage and they went and asked questions to the ex. Shows that they dont trust you/ are looking for dirt.
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Muslimah21

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #20 on: Sep. 02, 2009, 02:43 PM »

Yeah true sis.
I think most marriages break down becuase they are not compatible to start with... and i think thats all you need to know anyway.

Good point.
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SisterGirl

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Re: 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
« Reply #21 on: Dec. 17, 2009, 05:43 PM »

but doesnt the Ex know most about the him/her. They can tell you what they think and you analyse for your self. unless of course the ex really hates his/her ex and doesnt want to see him/her with another person

Um, not exactly. From my viewpoint talking to the ex may seem like a good idea, and it is as long as it stays an idea trapped within the walls of your mind. First of all I highly doubt that an ex husband or wife will even agree to talk to you. If they do, you dont know what their intentions are, and if they are going to be fair and give the good and bad points on a person.I dont think that most ex's may not want to talk to you because they hate their former spouse and dont want to help them, there are also ex's that still have deep feelings for their former spouse and it would hurt them to discuss that person with a new potential mate. It's a slippery slope, don't get on it. Make Istikarah, ask Allah for guidance, get to know their family, and use -common sense(hardest part).
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