Sh. Habib Ali Jifri – Family
You are made first for those closest to you. If you are forsaking them and propagating the dawah abroad and to those far from you this is wrong, it starts with your family and relatives.
No society can be established without a true family unit. Most people who perpetuated evil in this world did not have a nurturing family. This is the main unit that establishes justice and peace and not large bodies and organizations.
Why is the family important? For natural and divine reasons. The natural reason is the same as animals and the divine reason is from Allah. Who mates based only on natural reasons will be guided by it and who mates based on divine reason will be guided by that and will be fulfilled in both aspects.
The root cause of problems in a relationship is that each are looking for their own right. In Islam one who is better or worse is not based on gender but on deeds. We are not striving for equality for men and women because they are not equal, they are inherently different in how they are created, but we say for each to strive for good deeds more than the other. It is not a matter of pulling rights from one another. Your family should not be based on how much you can take but rather how much you can give and be sincere for Allah in it. If a man and a woman have a clear intention to raise a child for the sake of Allah so the child could contribute to the deen of Allah and be pious then their marriage is worship. Know in your relationship you are not only dealing with your partner but also with Allah.
When the prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to the man seek the woman of faith and religion he did not say anything after that. That is the first and only pre-requisite, not beauty or fame or money. And for the woman he advised them to look for Islam and good character because men may hide their character and portray a different one.
The prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in his last sermon, his last piece of advice to the ummah said I extol you to treat women in a kind way and the best of you are those who are best to their families.
We have to deal with each other with mawadda (love) and rahma (mercy). This is based on dhikr, even during our physical relations we should begin and end with the remembrance of Allah.
We give adhaan and iqama in a baby’s ears why? The baby cannot understand what we are saying, so why do we do this? In Islam there is nothing that is done simply out of whim. We do it because we are addressing not the physical being but the soul. All souls have testified in front Allah that he is their Lord. The soul needs to be addressed before the physical needs are addressed. So the adhaan is called before the baby even suckles.
A father is commanded to seek out lawful means of sustenance for his family. In the end why does a man seek sustenance? For his family. If all fathers did this what kind of society would we have? Halal goes deeper than staying away from swine and alcohol but also includes not harming each other by cheating or embezzlement, not paying for things as a result of cheating and embezzlement, this is harming each other.
Our criteria for our families should not be their sustenance and what they are wearing and eating but their akhlaaq and what kind of people we are presenting to the world.
Imagine if Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would visit your house unexpectedly today. What kind of changes would you need to make in your house so you would be ready for his visit? How would you prepare? Prepare now.