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Author Topic: LOL Matrimonial Service Celebrates 20 Years of Service, 4th Successful Marriage  (Read 1049 times)


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Found this pretty funny fake article. A few of my friends were telling me about their horror experiences on matrimonial sites :( :(

Matrimonial Service Celebrates 20 Years of Service, Fourth Successful Marriage

BERWYN, IL – Late yesterday afternoon, Convention Marriages, Inc. (CMI) announced the fourth marriage arranged by their matrimonial service. CMI is now ranked as one of the most successful matrimonial services in North America.

In business for the past two decades, co-owners Habib & Bisma Akthar issued a press release that was generally ignored by all local-area newspapers.

Mr. & Mrs. Akthar were, in fact, the first couple whose marriage was arranged by CMI and are counted as part of the four total marriages accumulated by the company.

ABOVE: Sales comparisons for the top matrominial services

“We’re disappointed that this event is not gaining more media coverage, maybe we should bomb something,” stated Brother Habib with a nervous chuckle.

When asked about the staggeringly high success rate of the service, Sister Bisma responded, “we think that it’s maybe the fact that we have such a huge selection of individuals to choose from. Ages range from 4 to 97, so I believe that people have a lot of choices off our candidate list.”

CMI anticipates a flurry of activity to take place in the near future, and is rumored to be pursuing a possible 5th marriage arrangement sometime early in the next millennium.

“If thing keep going as well as they are, we’re thinking of going IPO,” exclaimed Brother Akthar.


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I have to give it to Jannah, this is the most hillarious read Ive read in a while on the web (lets be specific haha)!
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