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Author Topic: Hot or Not? Why Women Shouldn't Pick Attractive Husbands  (Read 1761 times)

halfmydeen

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REally? What do the sisters have to say about this?

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Watching the Anthony Weiner scandal unfold, it was hard not to wonder how a smart, accomplished, beautiful woman like Huma Abedin got herself involved with a guy like Weiner.

After all, the New York Congressman was dishonest to Abedin, a longtime aide to Hillary Rodham Clinton, in a messy, public way -- confessing to sexting and sending lewd photos to a young coed after lying about it for 10 days -- after less than a year of marriage. It's probably not what a newlywed would expect, especially one who's pregnant with their first child.

But, sexting sexcapades aside, the 46-year-old Weiner, whether you find him handsome or not, is a fit, intelligent, passionate, promising politician with a six-figure income who had a reputation of a ladies' man and was even named a Cosmo eligible bachelor -- the kind of man that many, many women are drawn to.

And that's where Abedin and other smart, beautiful, accomplished women often make their mistake. The more financially independent women become, the more they prefer good-looking men. But they don't just want their partners to be hotties; they want them to be masculine, physically fit, loving, educated, a few years older and making the big bucks. Oh, and they also have to really want to be a hubby and daddy.

That's a tall order.

And, evidently, it's working against us. Attractive men don't make the best husbands, according to researchers. Guys who are rated as the most masculine -- a billboard for a man's good genes -- tend to have more testosterone, and men with higher testosterone levels are 43 percent more likely to get divorced than men with normal levels, 31 percent more likely to split because of marital problems and 38 percent more likely to cheat. In other words, they may be better cads than dads.

We'd be smarter if we sought out guys who are uglier than we are because researchers have found that couples in which the woman is hotter than the guy are happier than if the situation is reversed. And since quite a few women have been telling Weiner how "hot" he is, it's clear that neither Abedin nor Weiner got that memo.

Of course, hottie women can also "optimize their looks to find other partners if she's unhappy," says Rob Burriss, a professor at England's University of Chester. Hello, Weiner? And Abedin, 35 -- one of Time magazine's "40 under 40" young stars in politics -- was considered a catch when Weiner started pursuing her a few years ago.

But who can blame her? She, like so many women -- and men -- pick a mate based on pretty predictable factors, dating back to caveman days when all we were trying to do was survive and keep our species going, according to physical anthropologist and Why Him? Why Her? author Helen Fisher, who has been studying human courtship for decades. We're drawn to guys like Weiner because they have good genes we can pass on to our kids. The downside is that we take a huge risk on whether he's going to be sexually faithful to us.

At the same time, who can blame the women who flirted with Weiner and who commented on how "hot" he is; women are more attracted to guys in relationships because they have "proven they can commit," says Ian Kerner, a sex and relationship therapist, and author (She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman). It's likely that we'll see more male poaching in the future -- "research shows that in societies where women are economically powerful, the more sexually and socially aggressive they are," says Fisher.

Regardless of whom we pick -- handsome or ugly -- chances are we're going to be struggling sometime in our fourth year of marriage, Fisher notes. Her research of divorce statistics from 62 countries, dating to 1947, indicates that the seven-year itch is really a four-year itch -- about the time it takes to raise a baby past toddlerhood. "To me, it clearly suggested that divorce might not be a cultural malaise, but an aspect of our inherited mating behavior," she says.

So, now that Abedin evidently has Weiner's good genes, she can either stick it out another few years or split from Weiner now, before their unborn baby will have memories of the divorce, and while she's still young and attractive enough to snag another mate.

This time, perhaps she should go ugly.
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humararishta

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Re: Hot or Not? Why Women Shouldn't Pick Attractive Husbands
« Reply #1 on: Oct. 05, 2011, 07:17 AM »

It's a little bit crappy think what do you want i don't think this is true.
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SalwaR

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Re: Hot or Not? Why Women Shouldn't Pick Attractive Husbands
« Reply #2 on: Oct. 25, 2011, 03:44 PM »

ummm true in some cases.
I think its true forthose who are in the Lime light, celebrities, politicians etc etc.

I do think that as a couple you should be physicially compatible, to some degree and not true for everyone at all... but the general ruule of thumb.
In my culture they have always agreed the girl must be more ttractive then the man. Not becuase of the issue of him playing away but just meant to be that way.

"Ugly" men cheat and "Ugly" women cheat. Astagfirallah nothing in Allahscreation is Ugly... but this si the term people like to use.

When i married my husband, i am very much attracted to him, in veryway..... i am pleased with him. And him with me.
But certain people could only judge him on his looks.... to him they found him unattractive. And i was told on many occassions i am too good for him, and we do not suit. Why? Becuse he may be a couple cm shorter... he is not the vision of TALL DARK and HANDSOME they thought men should all be.
I did not see this and i do not see what they are on about. I am very muchattracted to my husband. After we got married and they saw how happy he makes me and how we click togther those comments faded away.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To many i am not attractive. But the only person it matters to ismy Husband... i only care that i am attractive to him, which i am. So Alhamdulillah.... Everyone else can go take a run and jump.... or grow a brain. Either will do :D
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Neen_2011

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Re: Hot or Not? Why Women Shouldn't Pick Attractive Husbands
« Reply #3 on: Oct. 26, 2011, 08:59 AM »

Personally, I don't think it matters about the looks. All it matters is how the person was raised, even if he/she were the king/queen of hotness...as long as they were raised with respect, dignity and honesty that's all that matters. And true, they say looks don't matter in a marriage but that is false. Just because you're hot it doesn't automatically stamp the word "cheater" on your forehead.
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