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Author Topic: Reviews of Singlemuslim.com  (Read 17153 times)

halfmydeen

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Reviews of Singlemuslim.com
« on: Nov. 10, 2008, 11:52 AM »

REVIEW of SingleMuslim.Com


About the Site: Seems to be setup by practicing Muslims from the UK. Original site is singlemuslim.co.uk but looks like they've gone global  

The Crowd: More practicing type of crowd. Many from US or UK. Many hijabis from around the world. Type of people you might see at Jumah or in a random Muslim crowd.


POSITIVES: Out of all the sites out there, I think this is the only one that was really set up by Muslims to be a matrimonial site FOR practicing Muslims. They include things in the profile such as 'wears hijab', 'has beard', a scale from 'very religious to not religious', 'revert', a scale of 'pray always, to never pray','always eat halal to never', 'smoking'. Not that these things actually indicate truly how 'religious' or 'practicing' someone is and some might argue that they are superficial things, but it's interesting they've included them. Also nice that they include 'located in' as different from 'originally from' and if the person is willing to relocate or wants kids.

MAJOR POSITIVE is it's free for sisters! That means sisters can contact whoever they want with their information. This was really smart on their part because it attracts all the serious sisters who want to get married and then they get the brothers on there by default. I'm not sure how it works for brothers but it seems like they can send (don't know how many tho) free template 'I'm interested in you messages' and then the sister can write back if she's interested. Again this is great, and I'd recommend brothers even pay because then they can write all their information and contact who they want and she can contact them. On many sites both people have to somehow pay in order to communicate. And even if brothers wanted they could place a free profile and just sit back and let the sisters write to them.

Nice clean interface with all the features laid out on one page.

A nice feature also is that you can see who looked at your profile and how many times. It's a nice way to figure out if someone is really interested and has looked at your profile 27 times, but yet you wonder if they haven't contacted you because they're not interested or just haven't paid or something.

You can also place about 8 pictures in a public or private gallery where you give permission for someone to access your pictures. Sometimes people will have one public picture and a number of private, or all private.

Searches include quick, advanced, and photo gallery. The photo gallery can be filtered to region and male/female.

I don't know if it's the format but many of the people write a lot more information than on other websites. If you join I'd recommend you do the same.
 



NEGATIVES: No way to tell if you've contacted a person before! How embarrassing is it when you've contacted someone twice and they turn you down twice! A trick is to add them to your "contacts" list and then check if they're on there later, but then it's annoying to have all these ppl that turned u down, or never wrote back on your contacts list! Or you could block them after they turn you down, but some don't write back and don't know how many ppl you can block.

Sometimes you just kind of want to indicate interest without writing a message to someone with all your information. I found it intimidating writing to brothers all the time saying I was interested in them! True that it's annoying to get 1000 'interested in u profiles' all the time and have to filter through them, messages are much better, but still intimidating. Maybe they could include those 'sample templates' for sisters as well.

For location, you have to choose a county and can't write anything in. Again could be good or bad depending.

There's no one-to-one way to chat with someone. There seems to be a live chat, but not sure how that works as it never seems to load. There's also some type of 'region view' that also never works.

Another negative (not the website's fault) which I'd warn sisters about is that although there might seem to be some good brothers on here, many are 'looking idily' and don't really have any independence from their parents in choosing their spouse. I wish they'd add a checkmark for "my parents are picking out my bride, but in the meantime i'm just on here because of hormones".




CONCLUSIONS: Out of all the sites, I think this is the best one for practicing Muslims. Many of the people on here are religious, unlike other sites where there are maybe a few at best and the profiles are set up so as to give a good amount of 'relevant' information. Also, being free for sisters is perfect! When you really think about it, this site's characteristics are very British, trust the Brit Muslims to do it better!

I'd give this site  :-* :-* :-* :-* 1/2 out 5 stars because despite the little negatives, it really has everything needed for a Muslim to find someone decent.

What do you guys think of it?
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questfortherightone

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #1 on: Dec. 05, 2008, 04:30 AM »

What do you guys think of it?


Regarding your question, well I can tell you what went down with me. I'm NEW to this entire matrimonial business -- like I started last week, literally.

On singlemuslim.com I go. I write my profile which was so "blah" as in ordinary that even I woudln't be interested in me when i read my profile.

Anyways I get a brother emailing me back. He says I meet all his expectations. I email back and I"m like let's talk about more about your expectations -- I was like tell me one thing that's NOT on your profile.

He's like I want to marry next week.

I'm like don't u want to know me just a bit more to see if I am a practicing muslim as you say I am.

he's like i can marry you next week and as long as your deen is good, everything else falls in place.

There. In the end, I found this epxerience not positive, to say the least and I can see that it's NOT Enough to say I pray and fast and give zakat. Yes it's important. But not enough to marry someone right away :)

If i totally got it wrong and probably I have please give me your two pence on my blog as I continue my quest ----      www.questfortherightone.blogspot.com

QFTRO
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jannah

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #2 on: Dec. 05, 2008, 06:39 AM »

If a guy wants to get married NEXT WEEK after looking at your PROFILE once. That sounds really shady. Sorry. You know what they say... marry in haste, repent at leisure!!

ws
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nomadnoor

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #3 on: May. 16, 2009, 06:37 AM »

Asalaam Alaikum,
I too also signed up for singlemuslim.com.. I found the majority of men to be from the UK.
Alhumduallah.. more American brothers were signing up each day too.
I had one case of a brother wanting to marry me without following basic steps like praying istahara(sp?), calling my walli etc.. so I turned him down.
I also noticed that men tended to "shop" through the photos of the sisters- so I had to hide my photo to get the brothers to read my profile.
Another issue I noticed of website was the lack of ability to verify character references of the individuals on the website and this was of major concern for myself and my walli as knowing a individual's character helps ensure a strong marriage.
Ultimately I gave up on singlemuslim.com because it seemed such a passive way to find the other half of my deen.
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Muslimah21

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #4 on: May. 16, 2009, 03:40 PM »

I was thinking about using it, and signing up next year. But i heard so many bad things about it, mainly men only abusing the site to fill in thier time before they actually get married amongst other things. One major thing is the lack of relgiousness from the brothers and hearing how they literally look at the photo gallery and pick by looks. If i was to join i wouldnt put a profile photo up until after we spoke a few times.
But all the negativity i heard on here and from friends, i would never turn to marriage sites o find a spouce.

You dont have to look on the other side of the planet to find your soul mate, they could live next door. So i think start closer to home... if you get despreate then i suppose marriage sites are a good idea. That would be me at the age of 50 and still unmarried then i would consider a marriage site :D
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disneydiva21

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #5 on: Dec. 11, 2009, 11:32 PM »

the men on that  site  are looking  for  dating  not  marriage  (at least  the 3 i  talked  to  :(  
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Muslimah21

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #6 on: Dec. 15, 2009, 04:28 PM »

Ameen to that sister.
I have experinced that too...and if you reject them they start calling you names!

Astagfirallah
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SisterGirl

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #7 on: Dec. 17, 2009, 11:22 PM »

the men on that  site  are looking  for  dating  not  marriage  (at least  the 3 i  talked  to  :(  
True. what is wrong with them??? If it is a Muslim site and you know the typical western dating is haram why go on there and try to have some haram relationship with my sisters?? leave them alone! Keep that crap in the dunya, if you are not practicing, you never pray, you are looking for a friendship that might turn into something else, you should not be on single Muslim. You are in the dunya, dont try to bring us there with you and "date" us. UHhh! There are so many guys on there that reading their profiles makes my stomach turn. One of the main issues, so many "men" have in their profiles, "no hijab", "no hijabis" "sorry no hijab sisters". Really? If Muslim men do not want to marry Muslim women who wear hijab, who are we supposed to marry? Hmm? Should I look for a conservative Christan man to accept my hijab? Maybe I will find a nice Jewish brother who likes my covering. That is one thing about those sites that repulses me. Those men are so weak, you want a muslim woman, but you dont want her to cover? Why not say I want a muslim woman, but not someone who fasts, or prays. Nooo that would be too old fashion too traditional, too Islamish.

Disgusting! Can the real Muslim men please stand up. This can not be our Ummah  :(
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Hamza81

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #8 on: Dec. 19, 2009, 06:20 PM »

the men on that  site  are looking  for  dating  not  marriage  (at least  the 3 i  talked  to  :(  
True. what is wrong with them??? If it is a Muslim site and you know the typical western dating is haram why go on there and try to have some haram relationship with my sisters?? leave them alone! Keep that crap in the dunya, if you are not practicing, you never pray, you are looking for a friendship that might turn into something else, you should not be on single Muslim. You are in the dunya, dont try to bring us there with you and "date" us. UHhh! There are so many guys on there that reading their profiles makes my stomach turn. One of the main issues, so many "men" have in their profiles, "no hijab", "no hijabis" "sorry no hijab sisters". Really? If Muslim men do not want to marry Muslim women who wear hijab, who are we supposed to marry? Hmm? Should I look for a conservative Christan man to accept my hijab? Maybe I will find a nice Jewish brother who likes my covering. That is one thing about those sites that repulses me. Those men are so weak, you want a muslim woman, but you dont want her to cover? Why not say I want a muslim woman, but not someone who fasts, or prays. Nooo that would be too old fashion too traditional, too Islamish.

Disgusting! Can the real Muslim men please stand up. This can not be our Ummah  :(

Asalaamu Alaikkum Wr Wb, sister its all too well just blaming men that men are like this on that website but you seem to ignore the sisters on there who are also on the website to find relationships and to date. I used to be on Singlemuslims a little while back and you would be shocked the amount of sisters that are after flings, relationships and dating before marriage. Also just have a look at sisters websites and you will see MANY who state they are looking for relationships leading to marriage. There are just as many women on there looking for relationships and dating as there are men so just blaming men for being like that is very naive.  I have also been told by many that the women on those websites have other intentions. Therefore the conclusion we should come up with is that there are both good and bad brothers and sisters using this website but i don't think its accurate just to say brothers.

You say that there are brothers on there stating that they are not looking for women with hijaab but what about the women who state on their profiles that they are not looking for a man with a beard? aswell as not looking for a practising man but someone who is traditional and has western values. Sisters look at both profiles and you will see that there are both good and bad brothers and sisters using these websites and that it is far from accurate to say that it is just men who are the bad ones on these websites when women on there are just as bad if not worse. The same goes for brothers and sisters living around us.

I do not recommend anyone using this website because it does not promote or implement Islamic values in regards to finding a partner and does nothing about the fact that many people are on there looking for relationships because they actually say so on their profiles. This website is NOT an Islamic marriage website and should not be thought of as one. One does not know who they are talking to behind the screen and also talking to the opposite sex alone as in on the computer can always ignite desires and is therefore not a good way of meeting a potential partner if one wants to do things the Islamic way.

Let us pray that Allah guides them towards the straight path. Ameen
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SisterGirl

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #9 on: Dec. 20, 2009, 01:45 PM »

@ Hamza81, I am not only blaming men for the problems on that site, the admin is asking our opinion of the site and I gave mine. Since I am a woman I have not looked through women profiles on the site, I have seen a lot of women on there that have inappropriate pictures, but to be honest I have never read another woman's profile. That's why I gave my experience with the site in regards to the men, based on the male profiles I've read and the contact that I had with them. That's why we have this forum of both male and female members so we can get both sides. I was talking to my brother in law a month or so ago, he is trying to look out and help me find a husband. When he started thinking about brothers he knew, he mentioned one in particular. Then I asked more about this brother, his Islam etc. He said that he prays and fasts, goes to Jummah, but mentioned that he is kinda dating someone (while looking for a Muslim wife). I said well I dont want a brother who is out there dating! He said he dosent know of any single brothers that are just abstinent while looking for a wife. They are going to date and have girlfriends until they find the right sister to marry. This was disheartening to hear, I know all men are not like that, but for my brother in law to not be able to think of one was sad. And these are educated brothers that he knows from the mosque.

 I also know of a few sisters (personally) that have gotten married, and their husband had not broken up with his girlfriend before marrying them (they did not know). So they were married to their Muslim wives and still having  relationship with the girlfriend. In one case the wife and girlfriend were pregnant at the same time. Of course these marriages did not last. But there are too many of these stories, that's whats sad. My brother -in -law before marrying my sister used to go to the online sites, he said that some Muslim women on there are really bad. He didn't go into any real details so I'm not real familiar with the sisters behavior, but I can imagine it gets just as bad. I wish there was a way for single Muslims who sincerely are ONLY wanting to get married (not date, be friends or have a relationship) to get together. The only way I've seen is through friends and family, the men in my family work very slowly. But it's a much better route than the other options out there. I am not trying to  male bash (never), I know some very admirable wonderful Muslim brothers, (have some in my family) and I know they are out there and am hoping to find one for myself.  :-[
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mjt

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #10 on: Dec. 20, 2009, 07:10 PM »

Assalam-o-Alaikum wr wb,

Muslim men not wishing to marry a girl with hijab ?? thats funny  :D .... I have been looking for a practicing muslima with hijab for over a year now but all I find are without hijab  :(

Well actually, my mother managed to find one girl with hijab. She and her family said they are interested only after checking and investigating each and everything about me but gave us a big list of CONDITIONS ... like I will not have objection on her hijab, she will continue her studies after marriage, She will not work to earn, I will have to support her in house work coz she will have to put efforts in her studies etc...

I (normally) dont like conditions, still I agreed to almost all of them except one that I leave/pack-up and go and live in the same city as she and her family is living. It was too much for me ... even then, I tired to explain them that as a wife she needs to come along with me. Its my job to work/earn and support family. Right now my rizk(food) is in different place, i have setup and job etc there and I cant just leave it. Specially when she can perfectly continue her studies in my city and in a better university. I can promise, I will do my best to provide her islamic and halal environment inshallah and keep my other promises. I will share and make sure that she gets her rights before mine inshallah. But no it wasnt enough for them, coz she is very attached to her family and cant think of moving away :o

So can we conclude that it is not easy to find a girl with hijab and if you do find one, normally she and her family's conditions are sky high or unrealistic?
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SisterGirl

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #11 on: Dec. 23, 2009, 06:35 AM »

So can we conclude that it is not easy to find a girl with hijab and if you do find one, normally she and her family's conditions are sky high or unrealistic?

Sorry to hear about your situation Mjt. Please dont conclude that. I think their conditions were unfair and were not based entirely on Islam. She and her parents should have realized that a brother would already be settled and she would likely have to move. Sometimes we women have to move out of the state or country we are in when we find the right man to marry. The trick is finding the right person, InshaAllah, everything else will follow suit. I wish you luck, I know it's not easy.  :(
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justKhan22

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #12 on: Feb. 16, 2010, 05:38 PM »

mjt wow !thats alot of conditions, good u were able to agree to so much impressive stuff.
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nblueblaze

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #13 on: Feb. 23, 2010, 03:13 PM »

Salaam everyone,

I am a current active user of singlemuslim.com, having said that I would also like mention that I am a male and that means I had to buy Gold membership.

In my review I would like to categorise the people using singlemuslim service into 3 categories:

1. Spammers - the website gives away free gold membership to all female members. Spammers irrespective of gender find the website as a perfect home to harass honest muslims males since the service does not allow messaging between same sex individuals. I personally have found cases like multiple accounts by a same person, fake accounts, insincere & abusive users.

2. Date seekers - many women are more keen to have a date rather than a husband. Many women are insincere and avoid talking about marriage when things get a bit serious. You see profiles randomly go inactive and/or deleted owing to the flexibility of free gold service to women. Some of the women are kinda racist saying "you are ......, hence I am not interested"!!! Thanks to the live chat facility, its just like an facebook where you can flirt, only its all muslim site.

3. Serious marriage seekers - very few. Few muslims/muslimas are honestly seeking parters...but they are minority. No matter how much internationalism the site claims itself to be, you will mostly find British or Pakistanis in the site followed by a handful of Indians, Bangladeshis and rarely a few Americans & Turkishs if they are not fake.  


I had enrolled in the gold package paying £48 and now I feel stupid...Its a useless service...I am not saying that there are not any serious muslim lady out there seeking a husband, but most of the female profiles are either fake or pleasure seeking spoilt westerners...thanks to the free Gold membership to all females, I get proper attention from spammers.

I will not renew my membership for sure...personally I think shaadi.com is a better website.

Jazak-Allah

Nes
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jannah

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Re: Reviews of singlemuslim.com
« Reply #14 on: Feb. 24, 2010, 08:05 AM »

Thanks for your perspective from a male point of view. What exactly are people spamming you about? That seems very odd. Can you not report them or something?

ws
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