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Author Topic: A sensitive subject  (Read 1475 times)

Anonymous

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A sensitive subject
« on: Mar. 30, 2010, 04:22 PM »

Salaams,

Hope you all are well. I am a bit unsure about how to proceed with a situation I have not faced before. Through a friend's marriage service, I have been introduced to a person who is very compatible but has been married before. I personally don't have a problem with it, I appreciate sometimes the best option is to part ways but I suppose I am a bit naive in understanding why such a situation would arise in the first place? I am also against all prejudice and stigma that may be attached to the label of divorce but I just want to understand what can go wrong and who is at fault. Will this be a reflection of how one can be after they get married again? Will it have any affect?
I know it is a sensitive subject but I want to consider this person as sincerely as I can with the best of intentions :)

Jazakallah Khair.
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: A sensitive subject
« Reply #1 on: Apr. 01, 2010, 05:40 AM »

Everyone who is divorced has a different reason why they are divorced. You need to ask the person you're considering for marriage what happened and why they think their marriage didn't work out. Maybe even ask others around him/her and you might get different reasons altogether. It will also give you a better understanding of the prospective person and how your marriage would be different. Also, make sure you are doing Istikharah! Wsalaam.
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Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: A sensitive subject
« Reply #2 on: Apr. 04, 2010, 06:23 AM »

One of the hardest things in my opinion is to find someone who you can be compatible with, and also to be attracted to that person is not easy to find. Couples divorce for many different reasons, sometimes it's one person's fault, sometimes it's the other person. Sometimes it seems its neither persons fault. It can be summed up as it wasn't a good match. Sometimes it is and still doesn't work. I wouldn't rack my brain about why people get divorced; there are a million answers to that question. Of course ask the person you are talking to what happened, make Istikarah and try to talk to and get to know that person's family and close friends also. People who have gone through divorce are still capable of having successful relationships, and are (in my case) very eager to making a new relationship last.  :)
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reeldeel

  • Jr. Member
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  • Posts: 90
Re: A sensitive subject
« Reply #3 on: Apr. 04, 2010, 10:52 PM »

A list of possibilities:
1- He may be bad for you (if he got divorced due to many negative traits you dont know about)
2- He may have acquired more patience (if it was her fault)
3- He may have learned some lessons so is good for you (since he may have learned some mistakes that     could lead to a divorce)
4- He is less likely to get divorced several times so being divorced the first time has lowered the chances of a second divorce (I think)
5- (what the last post said) especially the Istikhara. pray it. believe it. and take the leap.
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hitmark

  • Newbie
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  • Posts: 18
Re: A sensitive subject
« Reply #4 on: Aug. 04, 2010, 12:44 PM »

Deciding about the such person is always difficult. Why you are in search of match. Why not your parents do that for you?
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