If the person had done a complete U turn and embraced islam whole heartldly i would not hold his passed against him. But if he wanted to marry just to please his parents and actually the girl he loves is the girl he used to date well thats another story and why am reluctant to marry anyone i know has a passed.
Of course allah has said bleieving men are made for beliveing women and disblielvers are made for disblievers... so why would i a practicing muslimah who is a beliver marry a half hearted muslim who prays fasts and goes to mosque out of tradition and apart from that his life is liek a normal non muslim?? we would clash... i am very islamic in how i talk, i lvoe to talk about islam, the Porphet SAW especially. why on earth would i marry a guy who is nto apssionate about it like me? what would we do? what would we talk about?
Like i said before if islam is not the foundation of our marriage then the marriage doesnt stand a chance and will not last longer then the warrenty on my PC which was 1 year lol.
Seriously i couldnt imagine marrying a man who does not think about islam from when he wakes up until he sleeps. always has allah in his thoughts, always on his mind.
So i need someone relgious, If he is a revert Khalas, i do not care as long as when we meet he is a practicing muslim and i mean he doesnt do the basics he does more then that, He prays in the middle of the night and wakes up for fajr on time with no delay each morning. As i do, i want someone who practices islam as it should be done... balanced with dounia.
I do not care about the rest, i mean inshallah we will be compatible on other levels, sense of humour similar, Have similar interests. but if we do not it is not the end of the world becuase oppositis attract liek i mentioned beofre about my grandad and grandmother.
It keeps the relationship fresh and interesting, as long as islam is the foundation then the rest can be dealt with one step at a time.
If i met a muslim man, who was pious, humble, shy and knew how to talk to women as in lower his gaze, and talk with respect regardless if she is muslim or not. adn he may have been less muslim in the passed or commited sin, or is a revert that is in the passesd it matters to me what he does now. How he is in islam, how he practices now, how he deals with women.
I know men who claim to be pious, yet they chat up every hijabi they see and ask for thier numbers.... so they talk to 10 different sisters at once. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??? i would never accept that, we call that being a player.
I may have standards but they are given to me by allah, my rights and what allah says i should look for in a spouce, who is good for me and i will be good for them. Nothing haram or messed up about that. or do you disagree shah?
Becuase like you said you base your future wife on her looks, if she does not fit the bill regardless of her personality or deen then she is not for you. Well alhamdulilah for that, becuase you do not deserve those sisters