Advertisement:

Poll

...someone divorced?

i'd marry anyone!
- 6 (27.3%)
of course!
- 5 (22.7%)
i'd have to think about it
- 9 (40.9%)
if i knew the person he/she divorced
- 0 (0%)
i'd marry anyone!
- 2 (9.1%)

Total Members Voted: 18


Pages: [1] 2 |   Go Down

Author Topic: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?  (Read 7232 times)

halfmydeen

  • Administrator
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 145
POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« on: Feb. 03, 2009, 12:39 AM »

So would you consider marrying someone who was divorced or is it too scary or a big no no for you? Be honest!
Logged

Eemo

  • Guest
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #1 on: Feb. 03, 2009, 12:59 AM »

Yes, i would consider it.
I came close to marrying someone previously divorced, but it didnt work out.

Logged

jannah

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 269
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #2 on: Feb. 03, 2009, 05:04 AM »

I would want to know a lot more about the person and what exactly happened in the marriage and why they divorced, and also verify this by third party people. Just sayin'. ;D Also, if they have kids... that's a whole lotta other stuff to think about as well.
Logged

Jeremy

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 42
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #3 on: Feb. 04, 2009, 02:38 AM »

If divorced with no kids, maybe I would, but the bar would be set way hi, I mean, she has to be something else.
But if she has kids, that would make it a no no.
Too honest? Where is the anonymous button when you need it!
Logged

MzCBox

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #4 on: Feb. 04, 2009, 03:13 AM »

Aha, I would defo agree with you Jannah! Alot of agro can be avoided if the simple procedure of checking out someones background thoroughly is carried out, especially for someone who has been divorced.
But what I noticed is that you get some people who blindly just accept the words of a divorcee, without verifying it with others and then they end up in one helluva  soup, and then you get some people out there who immediately write off a divorcee, just coz of their status, without bothering to check out the exact details of their split. Both are sad cases.

In all honesty, Im divorced, not once but twice....which would make me what? a double divorcee or something?? LOL I dunno, but what I find really strange is that I have received more interest from people now, then when I was single, and that too from guys who have never been married and who are even younger than myself, this reassures me, that there are more people out there in the world who don't just see us as '2nd hand products' or 'used merchandise' (I really heard people saying this stuff!!), they rather take into account the person for who they are and not for what they done.

Right! I have said a lot in favour of divorced folks, but I should mention a word of caution here when considering someone from my side of the fence!
There are a few divorcees who haven't quite come to terms with their experiences, so they walk around with a whole lot of emotional baggage and are ready to dump it on their new marriage which only spells a miserable life for both parties involved. The only way to find out is to get to know them well.

Acceptance would be the key here, for the divorcee, he/ she should accept & acknowledge their past and be willing to move on, and for the other half, acceptance of their potential spouse's past and also a willingness to move on and create a future without looking back too often would result in happiness Inshallah!

So yeh, a little info coming right out of the mouth of the horse lol

(Oh btw, I can say those words above coz Im part of the gang yeh :p)

Logged

Jeremy

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 42
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #5 on: Feb. 05, 2009, 04:20 AM »

I certainly don't think that divorcees are "second hand products". The reason it would be more difficult to marry a divorced woman is more social pressure than anything else. If I were to marry a divorced woman I'll be going against some very high tides, and if I were to do that, I would have to be completely convinced that she's the one and nobody else is.
Logged

Muslimah21

  • Guest
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #6 on: Feb. 05, 2009, 07:55 PM »

i can understadn why people wouldnt marry a divourcee just from observations. one of my aunties is divourced this was 18 years ago. she re married. but when its just us girls me my mum and her, she does talk about how she wished it worked out and blah blah blah. they never 100% get over it, and some where inside they still pine for there ex husband/wife. i couldnt stand that, and id hate if i found out they were hiding it from me.
i couldnt marry someone who was divourced or someone who was inlove before. soemoen proposed to me, he got married and had it unoled after 2 months as she lied to him about everything. but i knew he loved her as he was prepaird to marry her and he did. So i know even though she lied he did still love her and he always would do. and i couldnt live with that. thats just who i am and my prefence.
Logged

MzCBox

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #7 on: Feb. 06, 2009, 04:05 PM »

Society needs a whack on its head and should be told to start thinking outside the thick box that its stuck in!!

But yeh it would be difficult for some to go through with a marriage like this, esp if their surrounded by strong cultural values other than the most important culture of all, Islam. Let us not forget that Nabi (A.S) married a few wives who were previously married *clears throat* lol

Good idea = Learn about potential individual divorcees and their circumstances before jumping into anything

Bad idea = Generalizing, everyone is so not the same, esp in our generation

 
Logged

jannah

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 269
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #8 on: Feb. 09, 2009, 01:29 AM »

What i find strange is when divorced people want to only marry never married people. Like what is up with that?? Especially for men... there are so many sisters that are divorced that have or don't have kids like they do. If you're getting a second chance why don't you want another divorced sister to have a second chance. That's why I'm extremely wary of older, divorced guys approaching me. Why?? Wouldn't they have more in common with someone who was divorced and has lived a little as well.
Logged

MzCBox

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #9 on: Feb. 14, 2009, 02:32 PM »

Well really I don't think its all divorced people sista Jannah, quite frankly I myself, would be more comfy marrying someone who has been through a divorce, so we kinda both understand each other and understand what marriage is about.

As for those older divorced uncles who have many kids and are trying to pick up the younger ones, their just slime balls who only think about one thing, which I'm not going to mention. LOL
Logged

brisingr9

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 95
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #10 on: Feb. 28, 2009, 07:15 PM »

Looks like I will have to marry before I become a uncle.. 
Logged

Shah

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 40
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #11 on: Mar. 20, 2009, 07:14 AM »

a young woman makes an old man young or so the saying goes..... age is relative. So what if old guys approach you? or old women for that matter. Accept people for who they are and not what ur biased opinions frame them to be
Logged

justKhan22

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 57
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #12 on: May. 21, 2009, 02:57 PM »

I wouldnt be happy to give some one hope. I dnt beleive someone should be overlooked jsut cause theyre divorced.

PPL should try helping each other as theyre muslims, -some muslims problem is not only theyre problem, i'd also count it as my problem, sometime we may have to compromise wht we want, fr the sake of others..
Logged

JenBean71

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 70
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #13 on: Oct. 18, 2009, 12:39 AM »

 I am divorced, I would prefer someone who is also divorced. I find the single brothers that have shown an interest in me might be older than me in age but not in maturity. They have absolutely no life experience when it comes to marriage. Would I marry someone single? Nope. Too much family baggage and unnecessary pressure for un-Islamic reasons. The brother would have to be from a good family - one that doesn't judge. If he's embraced Islam, even better. Alhumdulillah Allah made someone for everyone. My du'a is Allah gives all of us good husbands/wives, inshallah.
Logged

sheikh87

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 72
Re: POLL: Would you marry someone divorced?
« Reply #14 on: Oct. 18, 2009, 08:41 AM »

THere is nothing perfect in this life, but each has pros and cons. A divorcee is good because she understands that relations end so she or  he would try to be more patient with the other person. Virgin on the other hand doesn't seem to understand this as much so he or she would annoy the other person more  as opposed to letting the other person hve their needied space for personal ambitions. And who knows maybe the love might be more pure between two virins....who knows.

at the same time, I am not saying I would pick one over the other, because that is juhst one of the many things that a person should consider when getting married....
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 |   Go Up
 
 



Individual posts do not reflect the views of halfmydeen.org. All trademarks and copyrights are owned by their respective owners.
Comments are owned by the poster and may not be used without consent of the author.
The rest © halfmydeen.org