I dont know if this has been discussed here before, but pondering further about why the system isnt working and how we could ease the burden in some way.
Has anyone considered just Nikah? I mean, none of the living together, the big wedding etc etc ?
Lets face it, its perfectly halaal and im sure it was probably practised in times before.
My friend just got married recently. He was due to be engaged in November, and when he got to the girls house, they decided to do the Nikah instead. He still lives with his parents at the moment, and so does she, until he can get his finances sorted and she finishes her degree.
They still get to see each other on weekends and other occassions. Of course, its not haraam for them to meet.
I made a similar proposition to a girl when i was 21 and she wasnt warm to the idea at all. I also ran it by my mum a few years ago and she thought i was insane. ..."oh what would people say" she uttered.
Cultural norms are the bain of my life....humpf!
Well i can think out of the box, but can you? :p
Asalaamu alaikum, yeah i know a few people who have had done nikah's and a lot of them people who did do just nikah's are the ones that had love marriges and they just done a low key quick nikah.
I think nowadays because of the recession and the fact that it is much harder for people to get on the property ladder i think that it is better to do the nikah and then do ruksathee later on because at least it gives one time to save up and get into the right financial position in order to support one's partner and at its better than carrying on and having a haraam relationship.
Why not make things legitamate? At least it means that you can meet and talk without having the guilt of committing a sin because in the eyes of Allah the couple would be legitimatley married.
I think people are too extravagant nowadays and Allah hates extravagance and loves simplicity and humbleness and extravagance brings about arrogance and pride in ones heart and the whole sacredness of marrige is taken away by the way marriges are conducted nowadays so extravagantley. Marriges should always be simple and to the point but especially in Asian cultures marriges always have to be bigger and better than anyone elses. Its like a competition. Many of them are also very much mixed where the boys and girls come across each other in the hall and even sit with each other and a lot of the times exchange numbers and all sorts. These are the places where shaythan runs rampant and i personally do not feel comfortable in such marriges and they are devoid of the blessings of Allah.
In a marrige we need the blessings of Allah and if marriges are conducted which are contrary to the sunnah and commandments of Allah then how will those marriges be blessed? No wonder people have such problems in their marriges nowadays.
We need to revert back to the sunnah for every aspect of our lives and disregard culture if it means we have to comprimise our deen. Deen is ALWAYS first and it is upto us to make sure our marriges are conducted in the way that Allah will be happy with and not make it a place where shaythan will be happy!