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Author Topic: Just Nikah  (Read 8202 times)

jannah

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #15 on: Mar. 19, 2009, 03:18 AM »

Most of the sisters i spoke to weren't open to it.
Maybe it was because of parental pressure?

It could be that there is no reason to wait. They might be thinking if you're going to get married, just get married. Unless you have some type of extenuating circumstances like you want to get married right now but can't live together right now because of school or something. I don't think it's proper for people to go the other extreme and use it as a dating service either.
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justKhan22

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #16 on: Jun. 02, 2009, 07:36 PM »

haha lol lavish us brothes beetter watch out we dnt make contact with some one whose wedding gnna take us into bankrupttcy, lol
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Muslimah21

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #17 on: Jun. 03, 2009, 05:22 PM »

Lavender even if you are living together you can still take is slowely, i mean you can decide together to spend time together but also have time apart. how you do it is between you and yoru husband. But i think you should discuss this with the suiter, and ask him if he would be ok with that.
I know alot of moroccans decided to do it that way, and it worked out well. They get married have the nikkah have thier walima but see each other only when they want to, i mean just liek dating, so they get to knwo one another slowely and this can be over a couple of months. Nothing wrong with it at all. I know it must be terrifying to live with a man, from beign single to being married :S
But inshallah this is something you can discuss with the potential fiance.
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Hamza81

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #18 on: Jun. 03, 2009, 08:01 PM »

I dont know if this has been discussed here before, but pondering further about why the system isnt working and how we could ease the burden in some way.

Has anyone considered just Nikah? I mean, none of the living together, the big wedding etc etc ?
Lets face it, its perfectly halaal and im sure it was probably practised in times before.

My friend just got married recently. He was due to be engaged in November, and when he got to the girls house, they decided to do the Nikah instead. He still lives with his parents at the moment, and so does she, until he can get his finances sorted and she finishes her degree.

They still get to see each other on weekends and other occassions. Of course, its not haraam for them to meet.

I made a similar proposition to a girl when i was 21 and she wasnt warm to the idea at all. I also ran it by my mum a few years ago and she thought i was insane. ..."oh what would people say" she uttered.

Cultural norms are the bain of my life....humpf!

Well i can think out of the box, but can you? :p

Discuss.

Asalaamu alaikum, yeah i know a few people who have had done nikah's and a lot of them people who did do just nikah's are the ones that had love marriges and they just done a low key quick nikah.
I think nowadays because of the recession and the fact that it is much harder for people to get on the property ladder i think that it is better to do the nikah and then do ruksathee later on because at least it gives one time to save up and get into the right financial position in order to support one's partner and at its better than carrying on and having a haraam relationship.
Why not make things legitamate? At least it means that you can meet and talk without having the guilt of committing a sin because in the eyes of Allah the couple would be legitimatley married.
I think people are too extravagant nowadays and Allah hates extravagance and loves simplicity and humbleness and extravagance brings about arrogance and pride in ones heart and the whole sacredness of marrige is taken away by the way marriges are conducted nowadays so extravagantley. Marriges should always be simple and to the point but especially in Asian cultures marriges always have to be bigger and better than anyone elses. Its like a competition. Many of them are also very much mixed where the boys and girls come across each other in the hall and even sit with each other and a lot of the times exchange numbers and all sorts. These are the places where shaythan runs rampant and i personally do not feel comfortable in such marriges and they are devoid of the blessings of Allah.
In a marrige we need the blessings of Allah and if marriges are conducted which are contrary to the sunnah and commandments of Allah then how will those marriges be blessed? No wonder people have such problems in their marriges nowadays.
We need to revert back to the sunnah for every aspect of our lives and disregard culture if it means we have to comprimise our deen. Deen is ALWAYS first and it is upto us to make sure our marriges are conducted in the way that Allah will be happy with and not make it a place where shaythan will be happy!
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Lavender

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #19 on: Jun. 06, 2009, 05:17 PM »

This is definitely something that would not be just my decision. This is just what I feel. I think being Islamically married, but still living apart would be good for me because I am the type of person who doesn't take change very well. I'd have to start off with 1 night together, then building upon that. I am not ready to leave my own room just yet.
Plus, since I want a fancy American-style wedding, I think living apart then having that party right before we move in together would be kinda neat.
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Mardiyyah

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #20 on: Jun. 23, 2009, 10:41 AM »

Salaam.
Weddings should be made simple. SubhanAllah many people nowadays overdo weddings. I would simply just have a nikah. I dont want nothing fancy and definetely I would want it to be free of mixing.

The prophet peace be upon him said: " the best wedding is the one with the less burden". I think we should always keep that in mind especially if you're about to marry.  ;D

Salaam
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Muslimah21

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #21 on: Jul. 01, 2009, 10:15 PM »

Well said mardiyyah.

i raised that issue in another post and i was told i was an exteemist. SO it is nice to see another sister who reads the sunnah of the prophet SAW.

Simple is better and good for your afterlife. Collect thsoe deeds like there is no tomorow. :D

Yeap simpel nikkah and you are meant to hold a walima to announce it to people. so there will be no suspision withing the community and they know you are married. subhanallah.
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Anonymous

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #22 on: Apr. 10, 2010, 10:54 PM »

asalaamu alaikum ....let me just say...as Muslim's/muslima's we answer only to Allah in the matters of our deen...sure marriage with the piece of paper for the Government is encouraged..but Nikah is marriage plain and simple..the brother offers the MAHR and if the sister excepts..Alhamdullah they are now husband and wife period!
in the United States I guess you could call it Halal boyfriend/girlfriend..but it really is marriage under the eyes and protection of Allah....and the legal Islamic age for Nikah  is what? anyone know?actually Islam has really made it very easy not..to do Haram things..Alhamdullah...there is no reason for a man and woman to burn with lustful desires and passion for eachother...if you look at the bigger picture and the mercies and how much Allah loves and understands us..you will see the beauty of NIKAH...that's not to say abuse it..because the one thing we can't do is manipulate Allah...but Allah created us..and knows us.(smile)..and he wants us to be happy and joyous..and yes he wants us to enjoy eachother as a man and woman were meant to do!  get with the program..we only answer to Allah..and Allah's approval is all any of us should be seeking in anything we do!  Who knows better then Allah what is Halal and good for any of us? and who is the best TEACHER? Allah...asalaamu alaikum
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esotericsips

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #23 on: Apr. 22, 2010, 10:24 PM »

A friend of mine got married less than a week...when I say "married" I mean she finally had her rukhsati i.e. she finally left her family and moved in with her husband more than 6 months after their nikah. My friend didn't want to marry until she had finished her teacher training, and so the original plan was just to get engaged. But since her husband's family was more Islamically inclined they convinced everyone that nikah was the best option, rather than a long term engagement so as to keep all interaction halal. It made things a great deal easier for the couple.

Personally I'd rather not waste time with long engagements or nikahs without rukhsatis - my friend found it extremely difficult to get throught the seven or eight months before she finally moved in with him, as the nikah really changed the nature of their relationship. I guess just nikah IS a good option for those to can't marry straight away - especially when the couple is younger and still have work/education commitments or don't yet have the finances.

As for weddings - there is definately more barakah in a humble wedding. I'd like simple nikah at home or at the masjid, and then a reasonable walima. Like the Sunnah. People spend crazy money on weddings then spend years trying to repay loans! And even if you CAN afford to have a huge wedding - why not just save the money for a rainy day? Put it towards a new house? A Sikh friend of mine had a very simple wedding just at the Gurdwara...she then left for a 6 weeks honeymoon with her husband! Not saying that's the best way to spend your money, but certainly better than spending it on something as crazy as flowers and decor.

One more thing... why do people not know that it is sunnah to do Walima AFTER the marriage has been consummated?
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reeldeel

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #24 on: Apr. 23, 2010, 04:16 PM »

Ones got to be very desperate or have strong tawakal to do such short engagement periods. If you consider the engagement period to be the only time you've known the girl for prior to Nikka. Its a different story if you've known her and her family all your life. I hope I will have the tawakul to make it very short engagement period rather than think I have to spend a long time and get to know her and make sure she's the one.

What is Rukhsati?

Sikh friend has excellent idea... why show people you got lots of money with a fancy wedding, when you can just spend the money on yourself go around the world vip style with your wife. I guess some are happy spending money to show they got money.
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hitmark

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #25 on: Aug. 05, 2010, 07:46 AM »

I have seen some matters where they only first have Nikah and start live together after some months. It may be due to uncomplete study or low age etc.
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3bdiAllaah

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Re: Just Nikah
« Reply #26 on: Aug. 06, 2010, 02:27 PM »

if its about just nikah. then there is no shari significance of rukhsati. id just take my wife and go away.
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